Reflections
by evitascarlett
Summary: A companion piece to 'Apologize'. A series of one or two shots chronicling the love story of Jim and Johanna Beckett through the years. See Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter One for more details!
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note:__ Authors Note: Okay, first and foremost, I am in no way abandoning Apologize, so please don't think that, I am currently working on the next chapter, but sometimes I hit a wall and need to shift my focus elsewhere. One of my favorite things in writing Apologize is crafting Jim and Johanna's love story. I love it so much that I've decided to take those flashback scenes and mentions of their past and create this story, which will be a series of one shots, or two shots depending on the event, which will chronicle their life together, some of these events have been or will be mentioned in Apologize, when that is the case I will provide the chapter number that it links back to. Yes, Kate will eventually show up in these chapters. _

_And again, just for the record, Apologize is still my main priority! This is my side project ;) I hope that those of you who enjoy reading about Jim and Johanna in Apologize will enjoy this story as well! If you haven't read Apologize, I don't think you necessarily have to in order to read this story, so enjoy!_

_(First mentioned in Apologize Chapter 22)_

Chapter One –Meeting For The First Time

Ten minutes ago, Jim Beckett had spotted a pretty, dark haired, young woman, leaning against a desk as she studied the papers that laid on top of it. Needless to say, but his interest had been piqued and he had turned to his friend Jeff to inquire about who she was. His friend didn't know, although he had heard there were going to be new lawyers and secretaries joining the law firm. Apparently, this woman had slipped onto the radar without their notice and that was something that had to be rectified immediately, he had thought to himself, and so he had approached her, his friend tagging along because he wasn't one to miss his chance at meeting a new girl.

The initial introductions had gone well, Jim thought. Her name was Johanna McKenzie and she was even more beautiful close up, with those sparkling green eyes of hers. She was sweet, and kind, and it was obvious that she had a joyous personality. Yes, he thought to himself, everything had been going well during their little introductory chit chat…but then he had stuck his foot in his mouth.

"Are you the new secretary?" Jim Beckett had asked her; and when her demeanor shifted slightly, as if she were preparing to defend herself, he realized that it was probably the wrong question to ask. All he could do now was hope that he could brush it off.

Johanna McKenzie fought the urge to roll her eyes and she groaned internally, not this again, she thought to herself, she had really been hoping that Jim Beckett was not going to be like most of the other men she had encountered so far on her first day. He and his friend Jeff had so far been very respectful and welcoming, and as she had spent the last five or so minutes gazing into his kind blue eyes, thinking that maybe she had finally found someone other than her friend and secretary Sharon that might make this period of adjustment bearable, he had to go and say something like that and dash her hopes a bit…because she had to admit, some of the remarks and comments that she had received throughout the day had her questioning her decision to join this firm. It was too late now, she reminded herself, she was here and this was where she was going to stay for the time being. She'd just have to prove to her colleagues that she belonged there, that she could do her job as well as any man.

She was going to have to toughen up. She was going to have to let certain things roll off her back. She had to play the game right if she wanted to make it the legal field. She could do this…and she could start now.

Her brow rose as she regarded him, a slight smirk curving her lips upwards. "Is that all you think I'm capable of being?" she asked Jim.

He smiled at her, it felt like a trick question, but he didn't see a way around it so he shrugged as he shoved his hands into his pockets, "You tell me," he replied. "If you're not a secretary than what are you?"

That coy look remained on her face and he couldn't help but think of how pretty she was, and he had to force himself to keep his eyes from raking over her once more as he had done before he approached her.

"According to my law degree, I'm a lawyer," Johanna answered.

The answer caught him off guard and he knew it shouldn't have. Great, he thought, he'd just made a fool out of himself and the sparkle of amusement in those green eyes of hers confirmed the fact that she had enjoyed watching that thought register on his features. At his side, Jeff choked on his laughter and he had the urge to elbow his friend in the ribs and see if he laughed about that. Johanna's amused gaze shifted to his friend and he hoped that she was going to knock him down a peg as she had just done to him.

"Is the fact that I have a law degree amusing to you?" she asked lightly.

"No," Jeff told her, "I just always laugh whenever Jim puts his foot in his mouth."

She laughed, "Does he do it often?" she teased, her gaze shifting back to Jim.

"All the time," Jeff stated.

Jim shook his head, "Don't listen to him; he puts his foot in his mouth way more than I do."

"Guess I'll have to take your word for that," Johanna remarked, allowing a light dig at him for jumping to conclusions.

Jim chuckled, "Oh don't worry, he'll prove it to you before long; you just caught him on a good day."

"And I caught you on a bad one?" she asked.

"Let's just chalk it up to a moment of stupidity," he told her. "I apologize; I didn't mean to offend you."

She smiled, "It's alright, you didn't offend me…I've just gotten a lot of those types of comments today."

Now he did feel bad, because he knew how a lot of his colleagues acted in regards to women in the law firm, rather they be attorneys, assistants, or secretaries. It wasn't going to be easy here for Johanna McKenzie; she was young, obviously just out of law school and she was attractive and friendly. She was going to be harassed, underestimated, and for lack of better words, he knew that in a lot of ways, she was just going to be treated badly and he didn't want to add to that, he didn't want to be apart of the problem. He had only known her for a few minutes and yet, he already liked her and he wanted to get to know her better, to be an ally if she found herself in need of one.

"I'm sorry," he told her again with sincerity. "Please don't think I'm like those other people because I'm not," he assured.

"Should I ask your friend about that?" she asked; a kind smile on her lips as she shifted her gaze back to Jeff who was watching with amusement.

Jim chuckled, "You can ask him, but I have to warn you, he's been known to lie and if he lies to you, I may have to hurt him."

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" she asked Jeff.

"Never," he replied, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Alright," she said as she eyed him, "Is Jim telling me the truth? Is he different from the others?"

"Of course he's different," Jeff said honestly. "And just for the record, so am I."

"That's good to know," Johanna replied.

"Of course you should already know that we're different," Jeff told her.

"How?" she asked. "I've only just met you."

"Well we haven't tried to pinch you, have we?" Jeff said with a laugh.

"That usually only happens on the subway," Johanna answered; "I was hoping I wouldn't have to worry about it at work."

"Don't worry," Jim told her. "If he tries to pinch you I'll hit him."

She grinned, "You're going to defend my honor?"

"That's the kind of guy I am," Jim quipped.

"So jumping to conclusions isn't your only hobby?" she couldn't help but ask.

He laughed, "I'm not going to live that down, am I?"

"Probably not," she replied. "I don't think I'll forget it any time soon."

"If you do, I'll remind him," Jeff offered.

"Looks like you're not going to have to worry about me not letting you live it down," Johanna told Jim.

"That's alright," Jim told her. "I have plenty of things to use against him."

Someone down the hallway called his name and he turned to acknowledge them and to tell them that he'd be right there before he turned back to Johanna and held out his hand for hers once again. Her soft, slender hand slipped into his and he smiled as his gaze locked with hers once again.

"I look forward to working with you," he told her.

That coy smile lifted the corners of her mouth once again, "Do you really, or do you just feel bad about thinking I was a secretary?"

Jim laughed lightly, she was adorable, he thought to himself. He could get used to having her around; she'd probably make things exciting. "I really mean it," he told her. "I look forward to working with you…and getting to know you."

"In that case, so do I," she replied softly, thinking that her first impression of him might be right after all.

He finally let go of her hand, and allowed Jeff to make his own version of the same remarks and then they said their goodbyes, ready to head back to their offices but Johanna's voice stopped him.

"Jim," she said, and he couldn't mistake the slight hint of amusement that lingered in her tone.

"What?" he asked; as he turned back to her and took in the sight of those sparkling eyes and that pretty smile.

She moved towards him and then, dropping her voice down a notch, she leaned close, "You have no idea what I'm capable of," she told him, and then after watching his expression go from surprise to a smile that spoke of admiration and maybe even a hint of challenge, she turned to walk away from him.

"I can't wait to find out," he called after her.

She looked over her shoulder, a sassy expression on her face, "Oh believe me, you'll find out," she promised.

Jim watched her go, staring after her retreating figure until she was no longer in sight. Suddenly he felt like life had just gotten a little more interesting.

"She's sassy," Jeff commented as they made their way up the opposite end of the hallway.

He nodded in agreement, "That she is…I like her."

His friend smirked, "I know," he stated, "You have that goofy grin on your face."

Jim shot him a look, "I do not."

He laughed, "Yes you do. She smiled at you and it was all down hill for you after that. You were done for."

Jim scoffed, "I barely know her, so I doubt that I'm 'done for' as you call it."

"We'll see," Jeff stated before detouring to his own office. "We'll just see."

Jim brushed off Jeff's comments as he waited for his colleague to finish a phone call. He liked Johanna McKenzie, she was pretty, she was different…she intrigued him…she seemed…special in some way? He frowned and brushed that thought away too; how could he know if she was special after just a few minutes? There was something there, some kind of pull towards her, but he chalked it up to the fact that she was new and interesting and that the feeling would fade after he got to know her…and yet, he couldn't help but feel like his life was going to be somehow different from now on.

At the end of the day, Johanna sat at her desk and listened to the sounds of the building emptying out. She had survived the first day, she could go home and celebrate with a glass of wine and the leftover cake her mother had sent home with her the night before but she made no move to get out her chair. She was still thinking about Jim Beckett. She smiled, he was handsome, and those warm, kind blue eyes of his were just the comfort she had needed that afternoon…even if he had jumped to conclusions. Oh well, she reasoned, he wasn't the first, at least he had been apologetic. She wouldn't hold it against him…although that didn't mean that she wouldn't remind him of it from time to time, if they ended up becoming friends…and she hoped that they would be friends because there was something in his eyes and she felt like she just had to know him.

It was odd to have that feeling of _having to know _him. It was almost as if there were something greater at play but she dismissed that thought because it was ridiculous, she barely knew him, and yet he intrigued her. Instead of wanting to prove herself to him like she wanted to do with the others, she found herself wanting to impress him instead; but, her mind reasoned, that was basically the same thing as wanting to prove herself. Johanna shook her head, what was wrong with her? She had to quit thinking so much about him and she didn't know why she was anyway. Maybe it was the fact that he had been so nice to her, while the majority had been cool in their welcoming of her. She sighed and gathered up her belongings, whatever the case may be, she felt like something had shifted…as if her life was about to take a turn that she didn't even realize was coming.


	2. Chapter 2

_Authors Note: I am so thrilled with the response I've received for the first chapter of this story! Thank you for your reviews and your comments on Twitter. I'm glad some of you are willingly to go along with me on this one!_

_For Andy, for her enthusiasm and Twitter conversations that last until 1 a.m. lol. _

_(First mentioned in Apologize chapters 4 and 19)_

Chapter Two –First Dance/First Kiss

One Year Later

Johanna knocked on the door of her parent's house and prayed that her mother would be the one to answer the door. She hated it when her father answered…he was quick to interrogate the reason for being there unannounced, and if he could think of something else to question or judge he was quick to do so. You never made it through the door until Frank McKenzie's process was complete, and she just didn't have time to deal with that tonight.

The lock released and the door opened to reveal the kind of face of Naomi McKenzie, who smiled at the sight of her eldest daughter.

"Don't you look beautiful," she said as she stepped back and allowed Johanna to enter the house.

"Thank you," she murmured as she smoothed away an imaginary wrinkle from the silky fabric of her rose colored cocktail dress.

"Doesn't she look pretty, Frank?" Naomi asked as she glanced at her husband who was settled into his favorite chair for the evening.

His eyes flicked over his daughter, "She'll do," he answered.

Johanna refrained from rolling her eyes, a trait that he hated, and smirked. That was as close to a compliment as you were likely to get from him.

"I can't stay long," Johanna said to her mother, "I just wanted to see if I could borrow your diamond earrings. None of my earrings seemed to go with this dress."

"Of course," Naomi answered. "I'll get them for you."

Johanna remained standing in the living room as her mother scurried off in the direction of the bedroom.

"Where are you going tonight?" Frank asked.

"The firm is having a party," she answered.

He frowned, "For what?"

"The senior partners won a huge case and they feel it's a cause for celebration."

"Were you involved in this case?"

"No."

"Then why are you going?" he asked. "If you didn't have anything to do with the victory, why should you be a part of the celebration?"

This time she gave in and rolled her eyes, "The party is for everyone who works there, Dad. Not just the people who were actively involved in that certain case. Every case that is won is a victory for the entire firm, not just select members."

"It sounds like a waste of money if you ask me," he muttered.

"Well I didn't ask you," she replied; her tone light and void of conflict although she could feel the stirrings of her temper. Her father always did bring out the worst in her.

He gave her a sharp look, "When you are under my roof, Johanna, you will leave your attitude problem at the door."

"I don't have an attitude problem," Johanna answered. What she had was a father problem.

He scoffed, "You've had an attitude since you've learned to talk."

"If I have an attitude it's probably for a reason," she retorted as she held his gaze.

"That's enough," Naomi said as she re-entered the room. "Honestly, I can't leave the two of you alone together for more than 30 seconds without an argument starting."

"Take that issue up with your daughter," Frank stated. "She's the one that causes the problem, jumping on everything anyone says to her."

"I do not!"

"See," he said to his wife.

"Stop," Naomi repeated again as she held the earrings out to Johanna. "It's both of you; you're too alike for your own good."

They both looked at her in offense, "That girl is nothing like me!" Frank stated.

"That's the one thing we can agree on," Johanna said as she walked to the mirror that hung on the wall by the door so she could put the earrings on.

While she carefully poked the stems of the earrings into her earlobes, her mother fussed with her dress, straightening the thin straps that laid against her shoulders. "Are you going with someone?" Naomi inquired.

"No," Johanna answered.

"I'm not surprised," Frank muttered from his chair. "She might be able to catch a man if it wasn't for that smart mouth of hers. Look at Colleen, two years younger than her and she's already engaged."

"Well good for Colleen," Johanna stated sharply. She loved her sister but she didn't want to be compared to her. It wasn't that she hadn't been asked to the party, she had been, but the invitation had been extended by the womanizing Charles Patterson and she had shot him down.

She sighed as she made sure the backs were securely fastened to the earrings. When the party had been announced she had hoped that Jim would ask her to go with him, but he hadn't. She told herself that it didn't bother her…and while she told herself that, she consoled herself with the knowledge that he hadn't asked anyone else to go with him either.

"Don't worry," Naomi said as she patted her back lovingly; "You'll find someone eventually."

Great, she thought to herself, now she had her mother's pity for still being single. This was sure to be brought up in a future conversation between them. She could feel it. It would be one of those subtle well meaning talks about how she wasn't getting any younger, and how Naomi had been married by the time she was her age and that it was her duty to provide her with at least one grandchild. She was going to have to avoid her phone for the next week. She should've just done without earrings…or better yet, she should've lied and said she had a date. God, she couldn't wait to get her hands on a glass of champagne.

Johanna forced a smile to her face, "Well I better get going," she announced. "I'll get the earrings back to you as soon as possible," she told her mother.

"There's no rush, dear," Naomi said as she embraced her. "Have a good time."

"I will," she answered as she pulled away and headed for the door.

"Say goodbye to your father," Naomi said gently but it was clear that she was demanding it.

Johanna paused, her hand on the door knob and then turned back to face her father. "Goodbye, Father," she stated.

He glared at her; he hated to be addressed as 'Father'. "Goodnight, Johanna. Don't do anything foolish and disgrace yourself."

She smirked, "Well that just ruins my plans for the whole evening," she stated. "I was really hoping to disgrace the family name."

"Johanna!" Naomi exclaimed.

Her smile was genuine this time as she looked at her father's dismayed expression. "Goodnight," she laughed as she pulled open the door and escaped into the darkness.

* * *

Jim's eyes scanned the hotel ballroom for what must've been the hundredth time and he still didn't find what he was looking for. Or should he say that he hadn't found _who _he was looking for.

"Don't worry, Jim, she'll be here," an amused feminine voice stated at his side.

He shifted his gaze to the source and found Johanna's secretary, Sharon, smirking at him.

He returned the smirk, "Who?" he asked, although he very well knew who she was referring to but he refused to believe that he was that transparent.

Sharon laughed, "Really?" she asked. "Are we going to play that game?"

Jim shrugged, "I don't know, are we?"

"We all know that you're standing over here looking for Johanna," she teased.

"I am not," he replied. "I'm just standing here minding my own business."

"You know, you could've just asked her to come with you," Sharon said, disregarding his reply. "If you had, she would be here already and you wouldn't have to look like a lost puppy."

"I resent that," Jim stated as he looked at her. "I have never looked like a lost puppy."

"That's what you think," she replied. "Now, why didn't you ask Johanna to come with you?"

"What makes you so sure she would've said yes if I had?" he questioned.

Sharon looked at him as if he was stupid. "Oh come on," she stated, "You know she would've said yes."

"I don't know that at all," he answered. "I'm sure she had plenty of offers."

"None that interested her," she replied and she didn't miss the fact that he seemed glad to hear that piece of information. "I think maybe she was holding out for a certain someone."

"What are you getting at Sharon," he asked as he eyed her.

She slapped his shoulder and he laughed. "You know damn well what I'm getting at!" she exclaimed. "Jo was waiting for you to ask her and we both know it!"

"Did she say that?"

"No, but she didn't have to," she remarked. "It was obvious."

"And just what makes you think that Johanna wanted to come to this party with me?"

Sharon shook her head and threw up her hands, "Oh I don't know, maybe because of all the sparks that fly between the two of you anytime you're near each other."

He groaned; he had heard this before. "Have you been talking to Jeff?"

She laughed, "No, I haven't, but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one trying to knock sense into your head."

"I'm not in any need of having sense knocked into my head," he retorted. "The two of you exaggerate the situation." Even as he said those words, he knew in part that they were a lie.

There had been those occasional moments when their hands would brush against each others and the air would suddenly feel electrified; and then there were those moments when their gazes would lock and it would all become very intense until one of them broke the spell by looking away. Yes, he thought to himself, there was the occasional spark there between them. It was attraction, nothing more and nothing less, and certainly not as noticeable as their friends like to claim.

"There's no exaggerating that amount of sparks flying," Sharon stated, dragging him out of his thoughts. "We have to turn on the air conditioning after the two of you have occupied the same air space."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Don't you have someone else to pick on?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "Not at the moment. If you had brought Johanna with you, I wouldn't have to pick on anyone."

"My apologies," he said sarcastically.

"I'll forgive you this time," she replied. "But you better ask her the next time or there's going to be hell to pay."

Jim grinned at her, "Oh I'm so afraid of you, Sharon."

"You better be," she stated. "I can make you miserable if I have to."

He didn't doubt that, but just as he was about to respond to the contrary, something caught his eye at the entrance to the ballroom. His breath caught and then he smiled without even realizing that he was doing so. There she was, finally, he thought as he watched Johanna enter the room, her eyes scanning the crowd in search for her usual circle of friends. She was beautiful in that rose colored dress with her dark hair swept up elegantly.

"Told you she'd be here," Sharon remarked as she looked at him knowingly.

"I wasn't worried," he said as his eyes followed Johanna around the room, watching as she snagged a glass of champagne and took a few sips before scanning the room once again.

"She can't find us," Sharon announced, looping her arm through his. "Let's go to her."

He took note that Sharon was nice enough not to mention the fact that she hadn't had to ask him twice. Sharon called out to her as they neared her location and she turned in their direction and smiled.

"It's about time you showed up," her friend chastened good naturedly. "Someone was getting worried," Sharon stated as she threw a non subtle glance at Jim.

"I wasn't worried," he stated as Johanna turned her green gaze upon him.

She grinned at him, "You could've allowed me a moment to be flattered by the thought," she teased.

Jim smiled, "I can flatter you better than that."

"Prove it," she quipped.

He loved a challenge…especially when it came in the form of Johanna McKenzie. A grin spread across his face as he reached for her unoccupied hand and raised it to his lips, brushing a light kiss across it. "You look beautiful tonight," he told her sincerely, his gaze locked upon hers.

Her heart skipped and she was at a momentary loss for words. She felt her cheeks growing warm as she murmured a soft 'thank you' as her gaze shifted away shyly.

"Well I think I'll go see about having the air conditioning turned up a notch," Sharon said as Jim allowed Johanna's hand to slip away from his.

"Why?" Johanna asked in puzzlement.

"It feels like it's heating up in here," Sharon remarked as she looked between Johanna and Jim before walking away.

"Don't pay any attention to her," Jim stated as Johanna stared after her friend. "I think she's had more champagne than she's letting on."

Johanna had a feeling that that wasn't the case at all and that Sharon would tell her exactly what she meant the next day…and she had a feeling she already knew. Jim offered her his arm and she looped hers through it and allowed him to lead her across the room to the table that he had staked out earlier, but she had no sooner gotten there when she was pulled away by other friends, and then accepted a string of invitations to dance.

Jim made his own rounds of the room, socializing with friends and colleagues but he kept one eye on Johanna while doing so. He frowned as he watched her being passed from one man to the next on the dance floor. This wasn't exactly the way he had hoped the evening would go. He had figured that they'd spend the majority of it together…but she was there on her own, his traitorous mind reminded him, and it was obvious that she had been declared fair game.

He didn't like that thought…just like he wasn't all that happy about how close Daniel Hopkins was to her as they danced. He shook his head, what the hell was wrong with him. What did he care who she danced with? He picked up his drink, he knew why he cared. He wanted to dance with her…which was surprising seeing as how he usually tried to avoid dancing. Well there was only one thing to do, he said to himself as he took a sip of his drink, he'd just have to get her away from the crowd and claim a dance for himself.

He had no sooner made up his mind to do that when he saw her breaking free of the crowd and making her way back towards him, a fresh glass of champagne in hand.

"Welcome back," he said as she took a seat next to him.

"Where have you been hiding?" she asked. "You could've came and saved me from a few conversations."

He laughed, "I've been around."

"You must be good at blending in," she teased. "I've been looking for you."

"Well now that you've found me do you think you can spare a dance for me?" Jim asked her.

Johanna smiled as she sat her glass of champagne down. "I was beginning to think that you weren't going to ask me."

He grinned, "I haven't stood a chance with all of your admirers flocking around you."

She laughed, "Admirers? You must've lost your mind. I think half of them only danced with me to see if I had drank enough champagne to make me stupid enough to fall for their pick up lines and innuendos."

"I thought I heard hearts breaking all across the dance floor," he quipped.

"Their hearts had nothing to do with it," Johanna replied with a smirk.

Jim rose from his chair as the current song was reaching its conclusion and he held out his hand to her.

"Well don't worry," he told her as she rose from her chair and slipped her hand into his, "You're safe with me."

"You're not going to try to pick me up?" she teased, her green eyes sparkling with amusement as he led her to the dance floor.

"Not when you're expecting it," he replied; a grin on his lips as he gazed at her. "I like the element of surprise."

"So you're going to pick me up when I least expect it?" she asked as the opening strains of the Eagles 'Best of My Love' filled the air.

"I can't tell you the answer to that question," he teased. "It would ruin the surprise."

"I do like surprises," Johanna told him. "Good ones, that is."

"Are you saying I wouldn't be a good surprise?" he asked in mock offense.

She laughed softly, "I don't know, are you?"

Jim smiled at her, "That's for you to find out."

"Maybe I'll surprise you," she remarked.

"You surprise me all the time," he said sincerely.

"Good or bad?" she couldn't help but ask.

He laughed, "You could never be bad, Johanna."

"Don't be so sure," she said coyly. "I can be bad when I want to be."

"Is that right?"

She nodded; the corners of her lips lifting in a smile that he found himself classifying as seductive and he found himself pulling her a bit closer in regards to it.

"Do you want to demonstrate your badness tonight?" he asked mischievously.

"No," she replied. "I'd rather wait until you're least expecting it."

Jim laughed, "I think you're a little bit of a tease."

"That's just an ugly rumor started by people I've said no to," Johanna answered with a laugh.

"You were probably smart in saying no to them," he replied. "I'm sure they weren't worthy of you."

Her brow rose as she regarded him, a light smile gracing her lips, "I'm sensing a 'but' coming."

He chuckled, "But if the mood should strike and you would want to be bad, let me know, I'll go along with it."

"Why am I not surprised?" she laughed.

"I'm just doing you a favor," Jim replied. "Being bad is more fun if you take along a friend."

"I'll keep that in mind."

They fell silent as they moved to the music and it gave her time to savor the moment. She'd been hoping all night that he would ask her to dance. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and cherished the feeling of being so close to him. One of the best things about dancing, she thought to herself, was that for a few minutes she could be his and he could be hers. Johanna closed her eyes as she listened to the song play on, wishing that it wouldn't end. She would've liked to move even closer to him. She would've liked to lay her head against his shoulder and just stay there in that moment all night but she knew better than to give in to those urges. That was okay though, she told herself. What they had right there in the current moment felt good enough.

The song drew to a close and Johanna forced her eyes open and smiled up at Jim. "You know," she said quietly. "I could probably spare another dance for you…if you wanted."

"If you're sure it wouldn't be any trouble," he said; his blue eyes gleaming with amusement and fondness for her.

"No trouble at all," she replied as the next song began.

"Must be my lucky day," Jim commented as he pulled her a little closer for the next dance. "I think I'm the only one who's gotten to dance with you twice. People might think you're showing favoritism.

She laughed, "So what if I am?"

"Hey, I don't have a problem with you showing favoritism…that is as long as it's me you're favoring."

Johanna grinned, "You know you're my favorite."

"Well that works out perfectly then," Jim said as he dipped his head to whisper in her ear. "You're my favorite too."

"Really?" she said as her brow rose. "I heard that Melanie was your favorite."

"Far from it," he laughed. "And you better be careful, that might be misconstrued as jealousy."

She scoffed, "You wish."

Their second dance ended up turning into three as they were so caught up in the light hearted banter and ribbing that they didn't even notice that the music had changed. It might've turned into four if Jeff hadn't stolen her away for a dance, but when it was over she made her way to back to Jim and joined him at the table, picking up their conversation where they had left off.

* * *

It didn't escape Jim's notice that the drunker people got as the party progressed, the more Johanna stuck close to him. She had started declining offers to dance an hour before, and it was obvious that she was doing her best to keep from getting trapped into conversations with certain men. He didn't blame her, and he was more than happy to take on the role of her protector. He had already dropped an arm across the back of her chair, hoping to fend off the most lecherous of his colleagues with the thought that he had claimed her for himself.

"I feel like I'm being watched," Johanna whispered to him as she subtly scooted her chair closer to his.

Jim scanned the room and his gaze fell upon Charles Patterson and one of his cronies. Charles was eyeing her up and he didn't like the looks of it at all.

He shifted his gaze back to Johanna, "You want to get out of here?" he asked her.

She nodded, "Yeah, I think I've had enough…I have a feeling this party could take an ugly turn."

"Let's go," he said as he rose from his chair. She grabbed her small evening bag and then settled her hand in the crook of his elbow and allowed him to guide her out of the hotel.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked her; feeling a bit reluctant to send her home just yet.

"Coffee?" she suggested with a shrug.

"There's a place up the street," he said and when she gave a nod in agreement they set off on foot for the coffee shop.

After ordering their coffees, they picked a booth by the window and sat down across from each other.

"Did you have a good time?" Jim asked her.

"Yes, for the most part," she answered. "The last hour wasn't all that great…with the exception of watching Jeff follow Maggie around begging her to take him home with her."

He laughed, "You can always expect a highlight from Jeff."

She smiled and reached for the pins in her hair and plucked them from their places, allowing her hair to tumble down her back. Jim watched as she pushed it back from her face and his fingers itched to bury themselves in that dark silky mass. He shook the thought away and forced himself to concentrate on the words she was speaking.

"I love parties," she said, "But by the end I'm always ready to leave."

He smirked, "What are you complaining about?" he asked good naturedly, "I was there a good forty-five minutes before you showed up."

She eyed him, a slight smirk of her own curving her lips upward, "Is that your way of inquiring about my whereabouts, Mr. Beckett?"

"Would I do that?" he laughed.

She shrugged, "You might."

"I just figured you were trying to be fashionably late and got carried away."

"No," Johanna replied. "I had a moment of temporary insanity and went to my parent's house to borrow my mother's earrings. Next time I'll just wear what I have or do with out."

"I take it your errand didn't go well?"

"You could say that," she answered.

He was thoughtful for a moment as he considered the question he was about to broach. She spoke of her family from time to time but she never really delved into the dynamics of it.

"Do you not get along with your parents?" he asked.

"My mother and I are close," she answered. "It's just that every once in awhile she wants to have one of those conversations about how it's my duty to marry and provide her with a grandchild…and somewhere in the middle of that is usually the phrase about how I'm not getting any younger."

Jim laughed, "Maybe I should give you my sister's phone number, the two of you can commiserate together."

Johanna smiled, "So I'm not the only one getting this talk from their mother?"

"Of course not," he answered. "I think Madelyn has been getting that talk since she was 16."

She chuckled, "Well at least my mother waited until I was 18 to start dropping hints."

"Don't worry about it," Jim told her. "Your time will come,"

"Yeah but it's worse now," she answered.

"Why?"

"Because Colleen had to go get engaged!" she exclaimed.

Jim nodded, "I remember that you mentioned that."

"Don't get me wrong," Johanna said. "I love my sister, and I want her to be happy, but I could just smack her. Now I get to hear comments from my father about how she's two years younger and already caught a man while I haven't."

He couldn't help but chuckle at her rant and when she smiled he knew that she hadn't taken it personally.

"You said you're close to your mother, but you didn't say anything about your father," Jim stated. He had a feeling that something wasn't quite right between her and her father as she rarely ever spoke of him.

"My father is a different story," she answered; her fingers brushing against the emerald stone of the ring she always wore on her right hand.

"You want to tell me about it?"

She shook her head, "Not tonight."

He nodded in acceptance with her wishes. Apparently he was right and something was wrong in that area of her life but he wouldn't push for her to reveal the nature of it. She'd tell him one day if she wanted him to know. He reached across the table and took her hand.

"Listen, when you see your sister, give her a little smack to make yourself feel better and then have some fun with your mother and tell her you're rebelling."

Johanna laughed and squeezed his hand in appreciation. "I have a feeling that my mother would say that I've already done my rebelling."

Jim grinned, "Don't tell me Johanna McKenzie rebelled as a teenager," he teased. "I had you pegged as one of those girls who always did their homework and was home by curfew."

She smirked, "Shows what you know."

"Enlighten me."

She smiled and took a sip of coffee before replying, "I started rebelling before I was a teenager. I ran away when I was 12."

"Where did you go?"

"The train station," she answered. "I had my bag packed and I was all ready to head out to California but I didn't have enough money for the ticket…and of course there had to be a suspicious cop lurking around who made me give him my name and address and he took me back home to my parents."

"How did that go over for you?"

"Not good," she answered before moving on. "As a teenager, I skipped school a few times. I went out with a boy that my father told me I couldn't see. I tried smoking but it always made me sick. I went to parties I wasn't supposed to go to. I snuck out of the house several times."

"Did you ever get caught?" he asked.

"Once," Johanna told him. "My father was always up at five so I knew I had to be back long before then, but one morning I pushed my luck and crept in the door at four-thirty…that just so happened to be the morning he got up earlier than usual."

He cringed, "I bet that wasn't a fun morning."

"You can say that again," she stated as she recalled the yelling and the accusations that had ensued. "How about you, did you rebel?"

"What do you think?" he asked in amusement.

She grinned, "I figure it's guaranteed but I was being nice and giving you the benefit of the doubt."

"I appreciate that," he answered, "So few people give me the benefit of the doubt."

"Did you ever get caught sneaking out or sneaking in?" she asked with a laugh.

"My brothers and I had sneaking out down to an art form," he answered. "We grew up in one of those houses where there was a set of stairs in the front of the house and then a set in the back at the kitchen. My parent's room was near the front of the house so we always took the back stairs and snuck out the kitchen door. This plan worked out great until this one night when my brothers and I were sneaking out to a party. My sister wanted to come along and we wouldn't let her, so once we were gone she went and told on us."

"What happened?" Johanna asked.

"We always made sure to leave the door unlocked so we could get back in," Jim stated. "We'd check it at least twice before we'd leave. That night when we got back, we found the door locked, and a note from our mother saying that since we liked being out at night like a bunch of stray cats we could just stay on the porch until morning."

She laughed, "She didn't leave you out there until morning, did she?"

"Yes!" he replied laughing with her, "Although we tried everything we could think of to get in."

"Did that put an end to your days of sneaking out?"

"No," he answered, "After that we learned to pick locks."

"And what about your sister?" Johanna inquired. "Was there any retaliation?"

"She may have had an unfortunate string of bad luck the following week," he said with a grin, "But I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Oh I'm sure you don't," she laughed.

Silence fell between them and the radio that the employees were listening to could be heard in playing in the background. She smiled and caught Jim's eye as the song they had danced to began to play.

"Déjà vu," she said.

He smiled back at her, his fingers moving across the soft skin of her hand once again. It was one of those moments that were riddled with those sparks again, he thought to himself as their gazes held. After a moment he pulled his hand away from hers and took a sip of his coffee before starting up a new line of conversation. They lingered there, long after their coffee was gone, talking about work and friends, and prying more stories from one another until finally she caught sight of the anxious looking staff who kept eyeing them.

"I think they want us to get out of here so they can close," she whispered.

He nodded and glanced at his watch before pulling some money from his pocket and laying it on the table as a tip to compensate for their lingering. He took her hand and led her outside and then hailed them a cab and gave the driver her address.

* * *

Jim and Johanna were quiet as they walked down the hallway towards her door, his hand still wrapped securely around hers. There was music coming from the apartment next to hers and as they stopped at her door the song changed and 'Best of My Love' wafted through the air. They looked at each other and broke into soft laughter.

"There it is again," Johanna stated.

Jim nodded, "That song has been following us around all night."

"Maybe it's our song," she said in jest but in her mind she knew that she'd never hear that song and not think of Jim.

"Maybe it's fate," he laughed.

"Maybe it is," she replied, her laughter mingling with his. She tilted her head slightly towards the sound of the song and a lock of her hair fell across her face. She brought her hand up to brush it away, but her fingers were gently bumped away by Jim's as he captured the errant strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear, his knuckles grazing lightly against her skin sending that little shiver of awareness through her.

Her gaze met his and the air crackled with electricity as he allowed his fingers to linger against her face. He wanted to kiss her…and there was the sudden realization that it was something he had been wanting to do for awhile now. He probably shouldn't though…in fact he was sure that there was probably a reason why he shouldn't; but he couldn't think of it at the moment. All he could think of was her smile, those saucy little comments she tossed around every now and then and those pretty green eyes that sparkled when she was happy. He just had to kiss her…just this once.

Johanna's heart skipped a beat as his fingers trailed along her jaw line and then cupped her face. Was this really going to happen, she wondered. Was he really going to kiss her, or was this going to be some kind of trick that she'd have to kill him for? He moved closer, slowly, giving her a chance to push him away if it wasn't what she wanted but she made no attempt to stop him.

Her eyes fluttered shut as his lips met hers, gently at first, as if he were still giving her the option to change her mind. When she offered no hesitation he deepened the kiss and she returned it with equal fervor, her arms slipping around him of their own accord as his wrapped around her waist.

She had thought that it would be a brief affair but he surprised her by allowing it to go on until the need for oxygen forced them apart. It was even better than she had imagined it could possibly be; Johanna thought to herself. In fact, if she had to pick a word to describe it, she'd have to go with incredible.

They stood there, still in each others arms and didn't move. Their eyes met and held each others gaze but they didn't speak. Jim had finally thought up a reason of why kissing her hadn't been a good idea. Somewhere inside he must've known that if he kissed her once, he'd have to kiss her twice. Hell, he thought, now that he had a taste of her he was going to want to kiss her on a frequent basis. That was what happened when you gave in to sparks…sparks ignited flames. Flames were harder to control. That thought, however, didn't keep him from claiming her lips for a second time in a kiss that was even more searing than the first.

Oh well, he thought, at least he had forced his hands to remain where they were, although they desperately wanted to wander. She was breathless when it ended, speechless too. She wasn't even sure if she could come up with a coherent thought if pressed for one. There was silence between them once again and it lingered long enough for her brain to clear and the worry to set in. What if he regretted it? What if it made things awkward between them? She dropped her arms and attempted to take a step back as her teeth bit into her bottom lip in worry but he didn't release her from his hold.

Jim didn't miss the flicker of worry in her eyes, and he didn't begrudge her the feeling. He had felt it too. They had a good friendship, one that was filled with trust and respect. They had fun together, they enjoyed each others company. Sure, there were those sparks of attraction that had been on his mind all evening, and they had flirtatious conversations from time to time, but they were comfortable. They had a comfortable relationship and now they had stepped across the boundary line of friendship into that gray area of being something slightly more than friends.

What did one say after crossing that line, he wondered as he looked at her. This wasn't some woman he picked up in a bar. She wasn't a one night stand waiting to happen. This was Johanna. She was different. She was special to him…he cared about her. He didn't regret kissing her, but he didn't want to do something that would foul up what they already had. So maybe the best thing to do was to say as little as possible, he decided.

Jim smiled at her and after a moment of hesitation she smiled too. He gave her waist a light squeeze and then brushed a kiss against her cheek before releasing her.

"Goodnight, Jo," he said quietly.

"Goodnight," she whispered as she fumbled for her small evening bag and opened it to retrieve her keys. He stood by, waiting until she had unlocked the door so he could make sure she was safely inside before he left. She stepped inside the apartment and caught his eye as he was about to turn to go.

"Talk to you tomorrow?" Johanna said lightly as if it were a statement rather than the question they both knew it was.

He smiled again and nodded. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She returned the smile and then whispered goodnight once again before shutting the door and locking it. Johanna leaned back against the door for a moment and released a shaky breath, her fingertips brushing across her lips in what she knew was a schoolgirl gesture, but she couldn't help herself. That had really happened. He hadn't asked her to the party but he had kissed her…twice. Well, she thought to herself, he had made the statement that he would surprise her. He hadn't lied, she was surprised, and it had been one hell of a good surprise.

She pushed away from the door and forced her feet to carry her to her bedroom, where she kicked off her shoes and began to prepare for bed. When she finally slipped beneath the covers and turned off the light, she allowed the memory to roll through her mind. She wondered if it would happen again, and if so, how long she would have to wait for it, but behind those thoughts was something else. Should she be relieved that they were obviously not going to talk about what had occurred…or should she be bothered by it? Johanna forced herself to brush the thought away, she'd worry about it when it became a problem, until then, she'd just savor the moments as they came.

_Authors Note: I promise, I really am working on Chapter 30 of Apologize. I hope to have more of these chapters done soon too! I have a lot of things in mind for the buildup of Jim and Johanna's relationship ;)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews, as always ;) I'm so excited about the response this story has gotten. I can honestly say that I didn't expect it. Sometimes being wrong can be a nice surprise._

_(Johanna's fear of heights has been mentioned in Apologize Chapters 6, 21, and 27)_

Chapter 3 – Fourth of July

Two months after the kiss

Johanna rubbed her fingers across her forehead as she walked down the hallway towards the break room with a sense of purpose. She had been in court all morning and while things had gone smoothly enough, her head was beginning to pound. She needed caffeine, and she needed it now. She could hear voices coming from the room as she approached, and her ears perked up as she thought she had detected Jim's voice among them. Caffeine and Jim were a good combination; she thought to herself, both would make her happy.

"Are you coming, Sassy?" Jeff asked as she entered the room.

"Coming to what?" she asked.

"The fourth of July picnic," he answered.

"I thought that was off," Johanna said as she fixed a cup of coffee.

"It's back on," Jim stated as he caught her eye.

She smiled at him, as always, and then shifted her attention back to Jeff and the rest of the small crowd gathered in the room. "Where's it going to be?"

"Up on the roof," Zach Nelson answered. "The boss gave his permission."

Her stomach tied into knots at the thought of it. "The roof?" she said, her nose wrinkling in distaste.

"Do you know a better place to see fireworks?" Stanley Carmichael said snidely.

She groaned internally. If she had known that Stanley was in the room she wouldn't have came in. She would've done without the coffee for awhile longer. "I usually find watching them from the ground to be sufficient."

He scoffed, "What's wrong, Johanna. Are you afraid to go up on the roof?" he taunted.

"No, of course not," she lied. "I just don't like it."

"I think she's afraid of heights," Zach piped in, a smirk on his lips as if he found the fear to be ridiculous.

"I'm not," she insisted.

"So little Miss thinks she's all that is afraid of heights," Stanley stated with a grin. "Isn't that something…especially coming from someone who thinks she's so high and mighty?"

"Back off Stanley," Jim warned.

He shot Jim a snide look, "I don't take orders from you."

"Leave her alone," he said firmly. "She said she's not afraid, she just doesn't like it. A lot of people don't."

Johanna appreciated his defense of her but she could tell that it was only fueling Stanley's need to pick at her, but he was beat to it by Melanie Thompson.

Melanie looked at her, cattiness written all over her features. "It's so childish to have a fear of heights," she sniffed.

Johanna smirked, "I'm not afraid," she stated once more, "And even if I was, a fear of heights is far less childish than the fear of sleeping alone…and we all know how you suffer from that fear, Melanie."

Jim smiled as her barb struck her opponent. Melanie glared at her, her fake smile turning into a tight thin line before she regained her composure.

"I don't ever worry about sleeping alone," Melanie retorted. "I never have to, unlike some people."

Johanna smirked, "Some of us are more choosey than others about the offers we accept."

"Just what are you implying?" Melanie demanded to know.

Johanna shrugged, "Nothing. I was just making a generalized statement about how some women say no more than others."

"I think you're just trying to change the subject," Stanley stated. "You can dish it out but you can't take it when your flaws are exposed."

"I didn't know it was a character flaw to dislike roof top gatherings," Johanna retorted. "I was brought up with the thought that outdoor gatherings occurred in backyards and in the park. Not on the dirty roofs of buildings."

"What, are you afraid of dirt too?" Zach teased.

Johanna rolled her eyes, "This is stupid."

"Why don't all of you get off her back?" Jim stated.

"I will once she admits that's she's afraid," Stanley replied.

"I'm not admitting it," Johanna told him. "Because I'm not afraid."

"Then you won't mind proving it to us," he said; that arrogant smile on his face that Jim hated.

"Johanna has already proved to you the one thing we all already know, Stanley," Jim remarked.

"And what's that?" his colleague asked snidely.

"That you're an incompetent jackass," Jim told him, referring to the recent occasion when Johanna had called out Stanley for botching the details of a case they had been working on.

"Watch your mouth, Beckett," Stanley retorted sharply. "I have more sway in this firm than you do."

"I don't care how much sway you have in this firm," Jim remarked tartly, "That doesn't give you the right to run _your_ mouth."

Stanley smirked and shifted his attention back to Johanna, "He wants to defend you, isn't that sweet?"

"Sweetness is something you'll never be accused of, Stanley" Johanna told him.

"When you're a junior partner, you don't have to be sweet," he remarked.

"It's too bad it's not a requirement for junior partnerships," Jeff chimed in, "You'd be out on street, Stan…and I can't think of anyone who would miss you."

"I make a contribution here," Stanley said, puffing himself up as if it would make him seem more important and dignified.

"What do you think the rest of us do here?" Jeff asked. "Stand around and look pretty?"

"Prettiness is something else that Stanley lacks," Jim commented, earning himself a grin from Johanna.

Stanley glared at him, "It's no wonder that you and her get along so well," he said with gesture towards Johanna. "You both think you're something more than you are, and you're not. You're both nothing."

"Well if that means I'm nothing like you," Johanna retorted, "Then I'll take that as a compliment and thank you for it."

"The one thing you'll never have to worry about me doing, Johanna McKenzie," Stanley said snidely, "Is offering you a compliment. In my opinion you don't even belong here."

"Well I guess your opinion doesn't count for much, now does it," she stated. "Because I'm here and I'm not going anywhere so you may as well get used to it…just like I've accepted the fact that I have to deal with you on a daily basis."

He looked at her through narrowed eyes, "I may have to deal with you," he stated, "but not forever. I can assure you that I'll be here longer than you will be."

Jeff had glanced at his best friend and could see that Jim was growing angrier each time Stanley made a remark about Johanna.

"Don't be so sure about that, Stan," Jeff stated; knowing that Stanley hated it when he addressed him as 'Stan'. "A disgruntled colleague might kill you."

"Well this has been fun," Johanna said, sensing it was time to get out of dodge, "But I have work to do."

"I bet you don't have the guts to show up at the picnic," Stanley stated, wanting to get in one last dig.

Johanna turned and looked at him, "I'll be there," she said firmly, all the while screaming at herself inside.

He scoffed, "We'll just see about that."

"I guess we will," she retorted and then she walked out of the room.

When she was out of sight, Stanley turned to the occupants of the room, "Ten bucks says she doesn't show."

"You can't be serious," Jim stated, "You're actually going to bet on her?"

"If you have a problem with it, Beckett, you're free to leave," Stanley stated.

He scowled at him in disgust and then left the room. He wasn't going to have anything to do with placing bets on whether Johanna was going to show up or not. He had seen the look that had been on her face when she turned and left the room. She looked half sick. His mind was putting things together. He had run into her at the library a few weeks before. He had found her gazing up at a high shelf as she bit her lip and when he asked her what was wrong, she told him that the book she needed was on a shelf she couldn't reach. The ladder was there beside her and when he mentioned it she brushed it off saying that she didn't think she should climb in the shoes she was wearing. He had glanced at her feet and saw the heels she had on and had agreed and he had retrieved the book for her without a second thought. Now he knew that it hadn't been her shoes. She was afraid of heights…and now she was going to force herself to show up at this event to prove that she wasn't.

Jim felt like this scenario had all the possibilities of ending with Johanna being humiliated and he hated the thought of it. He supposed that he could try and talk her into not going through with it, but he knew it would be futile. She had the tendency of being stubborn and if she had it in her head to prove herself then she would try regardless of what he said or how she felt about the situation. As he walked towards his own office, he figured the only thing he could do was to be there and try to keep her from being humiliated or tormented.

* * *

Johanna walked into her office and shut the door behind her before facing her secretary.

"What's wrong?" Sharon asked.

"I just accepted my invitation to the fourth of July picnic," she answered.

Sharon's eyes widened, "They're having that on the roof!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice.

"You know you could've told me that before I ran into people," Johanna commented.

"You didn't give me a chance," Sharon replied. "You came in from court and asked how long you had before your meetings started and then when I wanted to fill you in on what was going on; you said that it would have to wait because the need for caffeine had temporarily replaced gossip at the top of your hierarchy of needs."

"Don't ever let me replace gossip with the need for caffeine again," Johanna told her. "I get myself in trouble when I don't know what's going on around here."

"Just don't go," Sharon told her. "It's like it's something mandatory. Say you have a family thing to go to."

"I can't," Johanna said as she paced the room.

"Why not?"

Johanna filled her in on the conversation that had taken place in the break room and when she finished she looked to her friend and said, "I'm going to end up making a fool out of myself. What am I going to do?"

"Simple," Sharon told her. "Tomorrow I'll come over and we'll get you over your fear of heights."

She shot her a look, "Do you really think that it's going to be that easy to cure me of a fear that I've had since I was five?"

"It can be," her friend told her. "Do you want to be cured?"

"Of course I do!" she exclaimed. "I don't want to look stupid."

"Well then, tomorrow we'll see what we can do about it. I'm game if you are."

Johanna thought about it for a moment as her teeth sunk into her lip, "Okay," she told her. "We'll try."

* * *

The next day, Sharon pulled out one of Johanna's kitchen chairs and motioned for Johanna to climb up on it. "Come on," she said. "We'll start you off small and work our way up."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "Sharon, I can stand on a chair. That isn't high enough to bother me."

Sharon slid the chair over to the counter, "Good, then climb up on the chair and then step up on the counter, that's a little higher."

Johanna sighed as she looked at the counter. She hated this. It was stupid…which is why you have to get over it, she told herself. The counter top didn't look very daunting, surely she could handle that. It probably wouldn't put her up too much higher than the chair did. She could do this, she was grown woman and it was time to get over this nonsense.

She found an ounce of confidence and latched on to it as she approached the chair and climbed up on it. She stood there for a moment, getting her bearings and then looked to her friend.

"You okay?" Sharon asked.

"I'm fine," she told her and then she took a breath and placed a hand against the cupboard to brace herself as she lifted a foot up onto the counter and hoisted herself up. Once she was standing on the counter, she turned around to face Sharon and she froze. What hadn't looked so daunting suddenly had her holding her breath. She was making it worse than it really was, she thought to herself. She wasn't really up as high as her mind was making it seem…but she knew that she'd be able to easily touch the ceiling if she raised her hand, and that made the floor seem even further away.

"Breathe, Jo," Sharon told her.

She forced herself to focus on her friend's voice and she took a few breaths and calmed herself down. She was okay…she wasn't going to fall…she was fine. It wasn't that high, she told herself. She stood there silently for a few moments, forcing herself to resist the urge to climb back down and after a few minutes she wasn't as shaken as she had been. She still didn't like it, it didn't feel comfortable but she could handle it and she could breathe normally.

Sharon eyed her, "You doing okay up there?"

"Yeah," she said with a slight smile on her lips. "I think I'm okay. I still don't like it but I don't feel as panicky."

"Great," her friend replied. "We're making progress."

"What do you have planned next?" Johanna asked. "I think we're limited for options at my apartment."

"We'll go to the library and you can climb the ladder."

"Forget it!" Johanna exclaimed. "I am not doing that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'll get half way up and freeze and I'll make a fool out of myself. I hate making a fool out of myself in public, Sharon. You know that."

"We'll find a section that no one is in," she replied. "Something boring that no one is interested in."

"People will still see me," Johanna remarked. "I go to the library a lot and I'd really hate to have to stop going out of shame."

"Okay, fine," Sharon relented. "It's a nice day; we'll go to Coney Island and go on the rides."

"No!" she exclaimed. "That's still a public place."

"But you won't stand out there," her friend told her. "A lot of people get scared on the rides. We need to get you on the roller coaster and the Ferris wheel."

Johanna's eyes widened, "Are you crazy?"

"What?" Sharon asked. "It'll be okay. I'll be right there with you."

"No," Johanna stated as she shook her head vigorously.

"Johanna," Sharon said as she put a hand on her hip and gave her best friend her best no nonsense look. "You said you wanted to get over this, now how are you going to do that if you don't get your feet off the ground?"

"My feet are off the ground," Johanna stated as she gestured to her position on the counter.

"Yeah and you're hanging on to the handle of that cupboard for dear life."

"But I'm breathing normally," Johanna remarked.

"And once we take a few spins on the Ferris wheel, you'll breathe normally at that height too," Sharon replied.

Johanna sighed heavily, "Sharon, I've gone the Ferris wheel route once before. It didn't work."

"When was this?"

"When I was six," she answered. "My father said no child of his was going to be a coward, so one time while we were at Coney Island, he made me get on the Ferris wheel with Frankie. I begged him not to make me get on but he picked me up and put me in the seat."

"Don't take this personally, Jo," her friend said, "But I can't stand your father. He's an arrogant bastard. The few times I've been subjected to him have led me to drink."

"I know the feeling," she replied.

"So what happened on the Ferris wheel with Frankie?" Sharon inquired.

"Well he knew I was terrified and he enjoyed that. The entire way up he was telling me that it would get stuck at the very top and that no one would be able to get us down and we'd have to jump. By the time we made it to the very top, I was crying and Frankie thought it would be fun to rock the seat and tell me how easy it would be for me to fall out since I was so small. He told me I'd die. So then, along with crying, I screamed my head off until they let me off and then I got in trouble for causing a scene. My father told me I was an embarrassment and that I better stop my bawling or he'd give me a reason to cry. Of course I was so upset I couldn't stop crying so when we got to the parking lot he let me have it."

"You actually got a whipping for that?" Sharon asked incredulously.

"Yes," Johanna answered. "And truth be told, I would've rather had the whipping instead of being put on that Ferris wheel with my brother."

Sharon sighed in disgust at the thought of her friend's family. "I hate your brother. He's a first class jackass."

Johanna laughed, "That's the truth."

"He must've inherited it from your father," Sharon stated. "I don't even know why you have anything to do with your Dad and his nastiness."

"It's not that easy to write him off," Johanna said. "He's my father, I can't just pretend like he doesn't exist and I can't not go over there. My mom is there and I love her and want to see her."

"Tell her to come to you."

"I can't do that," Johanna replied. "And I really don't want to discuss it."

"Okay," Sharon said; raising a hand in surrender. She knew she could only push her so far in that area. "Let's get back to the business at hand. Let's go to Coney Island and get you over your fear."

"No."

"Come on, Jo," she said lightly. "It'll be fun. Maybe we can pick up some guys."

"I don't feel like picking up guys," Johanna said.

Sharon's eyes twinkled with mischief, "You haven't felt like picking up guys ever since you left that party with Jim a couple of months ago."

She rolled her eyes but her cheeks flooded with color, "Nothing happened."

"That's what you keep saying but I don't buy it," her friend answered.

"We had coffee," Johanna stated.

"Uh huh," Sharon said as if she believed they had something more than just coffee.

"We didn't sleep together!" Johanna announced.

Sharon burst into laughter and Johanna's cheeks reddened more. "I didn't say anything about sex," Sharon stated.

"But you were thinking it," Johanna said defensively.

"Obviously so were you since that's where your mind went."

"My mind went there because yours always goes there and I didn't want you to think that something happened that didn't."

"But something happened," Sharon said as she looked at her with an assessing gaze.

"What makes you say that?" Johanna questioned.

"I told you," her friend said. "You haven't wanted to pick up guys…so I think maybe you already nabbed one and you're holding out on me. Something happened with you and Jim. I can tell."

"I haven't wanted to go looking for guys because I've been busy!" she protested, "You should know that, you are my secretary."

Sharon waved a dismissive hand, "Come on, spit it out. What really happened after the coffee?"

Johanna sighed in slight annoyance, "He kissed me, okay! Are you happy now?"

Sharon clapped her hands together and laughed, "I knew it! I knew you were holding out on me! Of course I'm happy to hear this, the real question though is were _you _happy?" she said deviously.

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she continued to blush. "Yes," she answered. "I was…thrilled…twice."

"Twice!" Sharon exclaimed. "He kissed you twice and I'm just now hearing about it! Get down from there and start talking," she demanded as she held out a hand to steady her as she climbed down off the counter.

When Johanna's feet touched the floor, her best friend started in on her again. "Why didn't you tell me?" Sharon demanded to know.

Johanna shrugged, "Some girl's don't kiss and tell."

"You've always told me!" Sharon stated. "How long have we known each other?"

"Too long?" Johanna asked mischievously. She and Sharon had gone to different high schools but they had met while working as waitresses during the summer before senior year.

"Never mind that," Sharon said with a laugh as she swatted her arm. "I just can't believe you kept this from me."

"Well I didn't want you making something out of it," Johanna said. "You do try and throw me at him every chance you get."

Sharon looked at her, "I only throw you at him because you hesitate to do it yourself…and besides, you know you like being thrown at him. I've seen the way you look at him…I've seen the way he looks at you."

She rolled her eyes, "We're just friends."

"Friends who've kissed," Sharon stated with a grin.

"It hasn't happened since then," Johanna replied.

"It will," her friend said. "Once it starts…there's no stopping it for long."

"I doubt that."

"So?" Sharon asked. "How was it?"

Johanna laughed as she blushed once again, "Really?" she said. "We're going to do this? Are we seventeen again?"

Sharon nodded, "Yes, we're really going to do this, and as for age, seventeen isn't that far in the past."

"I guess that's true," Johanna replied.

"I'm waiting on an answer," her friend reminded her.

She couldn't control the smile that slipped into place, "It was…incredible," she answered. "Both times."

Sharon smiled widely, "You know what we should do?"

"I'm afraid to ask," Johanna replied.

"We should discuss this on the way to Coney Island."

"Discuss what?"

"You and Jim."

"There is no me and Jim," Johanna told her. "There's just me and there's just him."

"Uh huh," Sharon said, "Except for those moments when you're joined at the lips."

"Oh my god!" Johanna exclaimed. "I should've never told you."

"Of course you should've," Sharon replied. "I'm your best friend. Now come on, let's go to Coney Island. I won't force you to get on the rides. We'll just look and see how brave you're feeling and while we're doing that, you'll give me the details that you've been withholding."

She threw up her hands in surrender, "Fine, but I promise nothing."

"Except for the details, right?" Sharon asked.

Johanna laughed, "Right."

* * *

A few days later, Johanna stood outside the door that would lead her to the roof top of the law firm's building. She didn't want to do this. Her trip to Coney Island hadn't been successful. One look at that Ferris wheel and her stomach had felt like it dropped to her toes. Sharon managed to talk her into trying the roller coaster…it hadn't been too bad, but she had kept her eyes closed the whole time and the speed had helped.

The thought crossed her mind that she could leave and no one would ever know that she had been there but she couldn't. She didn't want to hear about her absence for the next week. Johanna took a breath and steeled herself; there was no point in stalling. Just get it over with, she thought as she grasped the knob of the door and opened it, forcing herself to step out onto the roof.

She felt her heart starting to pound and she felt sick to her stomach as her gaze took in the view of the skyline. "I can do this," she told herself. All she had to do was force her feet to move away from the door, which was easier said than done. The sky looked too close which only served to remind her of how high up she was and while she couldn't see the street from where she stood, she knew it was much too far away.

"Just breathe," she whispered as a tremor of panic shot through her. She clenched the handles of her purse and made herself move. "One step at a time," she coaxed herself, "Don't go near the edges, don't look down…don't look up. Look at people instead."

That was all she had to do. She just had to find a safe place and stay in it and keep her gaze centered and she'd be fine. She forced herself to concentrate on the sound of the radio and the voices of her colleagues. She breathed in the scent of the food but nothing seemed to ease the knot in her stomach and she inwardly cringed as Jeff's voice called out, "There's Sassy." She could've used a few more minutes of anonymity. She forced a smile to her lips and moved towards the gathering, conjuring up the look of confidence that she didn't feel.

Sharon caught her eye and smiled encouragingly and she returned the gesture as she spoke her greetings to the colleagues she was friendly with. Jim appeared at her side out of nowhere and she could see him assessing her features as they said hello. He could see right through her guise and she knew it. She could see the wheels turning in his head and she could imagine the words that would follow.

She held his gaze, silently begging him not to say anything about it. The words Jim had been about to speak momentarily died on his lips; but then as his gaze roamed over her, taking in the sight of her in her white t-shirt and shorts that had obviously been cut off from a pair of jeans; he saw the white knuckled grip she had on the short straps of her purse and he couldn't let it pass. It was ridiculous. She shouldn't feel like she had to be standing on a roof top when she was afraid to do so. This bullying by Stanley, Melanie and Zach was akin to the type of nonsense that should've been left behind in junior high and he couldn't stand it… he hated it even more when it was being directed at Johanna.

"You don't have to prove anything to them, Jo," he said quietly.

"Yes I do," she remarked. "If I didn't show up I'd never hear the end of it and it would be a source of ridicule I'd have to deal with everyday until they found something else to amuse them and you know it."

"So you're going to torment yourself?" Jim asked.

"It's better than having them do it for me," Johanna stated. "I'll be fine, don't worry about it."

That was easier said then done, Jim thought to himself. He often found himself worried about her. Just like lately he found himself hanging around the office on days when she was working late so he could drive her home. He didn't like the thought of her walking after dark and he didn't even particularly care for the thought of her being in a cab by herself at night either.

He looked at her for a long moment and relented. She was determined to do this and he'd have to let her…for now, he thought. If she was still tense and uncomfortable after an hour, he'd broach the subject again.

"Come sit down," he told her as his hand found the small of her back.

She smiled gratefully and hoped that he would lead her to one of the card tables that wouldn't afford her a view over the ledge.

"Hey, Johanna," Stanley Carmichael called out, causing her to freeze in her tracks and turn to face him.

"What?" she asked; feeling annoyance growing within her.

Stanley plucked a can of soda from the cooler and waved it at her, "If you want a drink," he said, "It'll be right over here," he stated as he set the can on the ledge of the roof.

The taunting burned her, right along with Melanie's laughter that followed.

"Go to hell, Stanley," Johanna told him.

He smiled smugly, "I was only offering you a drink."

"No," Jim stated, "You were only living up to your reputation as an ass."

"Hey, Stan," Jeff called out. "I have an idea, how about instead of sitting that can on the ledge, you climb up there and stand and I'll throw the cans at you and see if I can knock you down."

The crowd laughed as Stanley turned red with indignation.

"I think you should be fair about it, Jeff," Jim stated. "Give everyone a chance to play the game."

"You're right," Jeff remarked. "We can even make some money off the deal. Ten cents for two chances to knock Stanley off the building."

"The winner gets to pick his pockets before we call the ambulance," Jim remarked, causing Johanna to subtly nudge him. He should probably stay out of it but he couldn't help himself. He wanted Stanley to get a taste of his own medicine.

"Don't be ridiculous," Stanley bellowed as he glared at them.

"What's wrong, Stan, are you afraid?" Jeff asked. "I'll give you a fair chance. One can will be empty and one will be full."

"You're an idiot," Stanley remarked.

"Don't talk about yourself that way, Stanley," Jim stated. "Give yourself some credit; you're way worse than an idiot."

Jeff took the comment and expounded upon it, keeping Stanley distracted as Jim guided Johanna the rest of the way to the table.

"I appreciate that the two of you want to defend me," Johanna said quietly as she laid a hand on his wrist. "But don't lose your jobs over it, I'm not worth it."

The statement sent a small jolt of anger through him and he held her gaze as he leaned closer. "Don't you ever say you're not worth something again," he said firmly.

"Jim," she began to say.

"Don't," he told her as his hand settled on her bare knee.

She bit back her words as she continued to hold his gaze.

"You're worth it," he repeated as his hand caressed her knee for a moment.

She smiled slightly and nodded, telling him that she'd drop her argument to the contrary.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"I'm okay," she said quietly. "I don't like it but I figure if I don't move around too much I should be alright."

He gave her a sympathetic smile and settled back, intent on remaining by her side.

* * *

Time moved slowly and her discomfort never did ease and it was wearing on her as she watched her colleagues lean over the ledge or sit upon it. It made her nervous; she could envision someone falling and it put her on edge. She couldn't help but wonder if Stanley had picked up on her unease as he made a show of 'accidentally' knocking the can of soda off the roof and then looked at her while he laughed.

Seeing the can go over the edge had made her stomach clench. She couldn't stand it and yet her pride kept her from budging.

"I think you've proved enough, Jo," Jim's voice whispered in her ear as he draped his arm around the back of her chair.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you've lasted almost two hours. I think you can leave feeling vindicated."

"If I leave this early, they'll still talk."

"Let them talk."

"That's easy for you to say."

"Stop being stubborn, Johanna."

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"No you're not," Jim stated. "You're as white as a sheet and I swear you're barely breathing."

She had been afraid that her discomfort was visible and having Jim point it out to her only made her feel worse. She'd made it up to the roof and yet she still couldn't shake the fear and in her mind that was failure…and she hated to fail. That was coupled with the fact that she knew if she was the only one to leave early, everyone would know why.

"I'll go with you," Jim said, as if he had read her mind.

"You don't have to do that,' she stated. "I don't want you to miss out because of me."

"Miss out on what?" he asked. "There isn't anything going on here that interests me. Come on, we'll go to the park and have a better time on our own."

"What about the fireworks?" Johanna asked. "Don't you want to see them from up here?"

He shook his head, "I can see them just fine in the park…with you."

She really did want to leave, the picnic was boring and it would be nice to be able to breathe normally again…and if she were to leave with Jim, it wouldn't look quite so suspicious. People would still talk, but they'd talk about the reason of why they had left together and that was better than having her fears thrown in her face.

"Okay," she relented. "I'm ready to go."

Jim made sure that no one was paying attention to them and then he rose from his chair and took her hand when she followed his lead. He swiftly guided her to the door and he was glad to see that by the time they reached the street, she appeared to be getting her color back and breathing normally.

* * *

Once they were settled onto a bench in the park with an array of snacks and sodas that they had bought from the various vendors they had passed, he decided to broach the topic of her fear.

"Have you always been afraid of heights?" Jim asked.

"No," she answered. "When I was a little girl I was fearless."

"What happened to change that?" he inquired.

Her gaze dropped away from his face and she was quiet for a few moments and Jim waited patiently as she debated whether she should tell him her story or not. Finally, her gaze met his once again.

"My brother hates me," she stated, a small smile on her lips as if she were trying to make it seem like a light hearted statement but he saw through it and took note of the sadness that lingered in the depths of her eyes.

"Why?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, it's just always been that way. I guess he hates me because I was born. He was an only child until I came along.

"That's not your fault," Jim said. "He should take that up with your parents."

Johanna laughed softly, "I'd like to be a fly on the wall for that conversation."

"So how does your brother play into your fear of heights?"

"Well like I said, he hates me," she reiterated, "But that didn't stop me from wanting to follow him around when I was little. He was climbing the tree in our back yard one day and I, of course, climbed up after him."

"How old were you?"

"Five," Johanna said. "My brother was eight. He told me to go away and that he didn't want me following him but I didn't listen. I kept going, and he kept threatening me. He told me if I didn't get down, he'd push me and make me fall. I guess I should've believed him, after all he was always pushing me, pulling my hair, hitting me, but I kept going and I caught up to him. We were a good ways up in the tree and I was standing on the limb with him. He told me again that he was going to push me and I made the mistake of saying 'No you won't'. Frankie always did like anything he could take as a dare, so he shoved me and I fell."

Jim looked stunned by the statement, "Your brother actually pushed you out of a tree?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Were you hurt or did you get lucky and escape with a few bumps and bruises?"

"I broke my arm," she answered. "The doctor said I was lucky that I didn't break more than that falling from the height that I did. I was pretty sore though, I hit the ground hard."

"Good God," Jim said as he imagined the scene she had painted. "I hope your brother got it good for that one."

Johanna scoffed, "With the exception of my mother yelling at him, he didn't get punished at all."

"He didn't get punished?"

"No."

"How is that possible!" Jim exclaimed; a surge of anger swimming within him at the thought of Johanna being hurt by her brother.

"Because my father said it was my fault," she admitted. "He said that I shouldn't have been up there in the first place."

"You weren't supposed to be up there, but it was alright for your brother to be up there and to push you out?"

"Pretty much," she replied. "My father is under the impression that only boys climb trees. Little girls are supposed to jump rope and play tea party. When my mother brought up the fact that it was still wrong for Frankie to push me, he said that boys will be boys."

"All kids climb trees," Jim stated as he grew even more outraged. "My sister climbed trees and I can assure you that I never pushed her out of one and neither did my brothers. If we had, my father would've made sure that we found it difficult to sit down for the next week."

"Frankie's the golden child," Johanna told him. "He does no wrong in my father's eyes. I do all of the wrong. It was my fault for climbing up the tree, and in his mind, I got pushed because I provoked my brother into doing it by being a pest. It was also my fault because I was stupid and didn't have the sense god gave a goose."

Jim looked at her for a long minute, "Please tell me that your father didn't say that to you."

He took note of the fact that she began to toy with her emerald ring again and he was beginning to realize that she did that whenever she spoke of her father.

"He always says that to me."

"But you were a little girl," Jim said. "Who tells a five year old that they're stupid and have no sense?"

She smiled sadly, "Frank McKenzie believes that stupidity knows no age. He doesn't care if you're five, fifteen, twenty-five, or even ninety-five; if he thinks you're stupid, he'll tell you so. He said if I behaved the way I should I wouldn't have gotten hurt. He said that I deserved it and that maybe it would teach me a lesson, but of course he had to be the one to pay for my stupidity in the form of doctor's bills so he was being punished for my actions too. It's probably a good thing my arm was broke," she commented, "It probably spared me from being the one who would've found it difficult to sit down for a week."

He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't fathom that someone would treat a five year old that way. What kind of monster had she grown up with?

"Didn't your mother do anything?" he asked. Surely her mother had stepped in, or at least he hoped so.

"What could she do?" Johanna asked. "I don't think she would've let him hit me, but there wasn't much she could do about the yelling except to tell him to stop, and he rarely ever listened to that. If he wants to yell, he yells and he doesn't stop until he's finished. She told me he didn't mean the things that he said, that he was just upset that I was hurt, but we both knew she was lying. She held me while I cried and she ignored his order that she wasn't to take me to the movies the next weekend, but really, there was nothing else she could do."

"I don't know what else she could've done," he stated, "But anything would've been better than nothing."

"My mother loves me," she stated defensively. "She's always done her best for me; she's always given me everything she has."

There was a warning signal in those words, Jim thought. He had to back off the topic of her mother and the accusation that she had done nothing to defend her child…but in his mind it seemed that way, that if Mrs. McKenzie hadn't taken a real stand against the treatment of her daughter then it was like she had condoned it. He couldn't say that aloud however, he wouldn't be able to make Johanna see that. Obviously her mother was her lifeline, the symbol of love and goodness and she wouldn't hear a word against her.

"Is your father always that way?" he asked instead, shifting the topic back to Frank McKenzie. "Does he always treat you badly?"

Johanna sighed and her fingers continued to rub against that emerald stone. She wasn't going to get out this conversation now that it had been started.

"My father is a difficult man," she said quietly.

"Sounds like it," he replied.

"We've never been close," she told him. "He's never cared much for me."

Her father had never cared much for her, Jim thought to himself. How was that possible? How could anyone not care for her, especially her own father? How could any parent not care for their child?

"What's his reason for that?"

"I don't know," she said with a light shrug before she picked up her soda and took a long sip. "He's never given me a reason and when pressed for one I always end up being referred to as a 'needy, attention seeking creature'."

Needy, attention seeking creature, that was rich, Jim thought. Frank McKenzie referred to his daughter as a creature. If she was needy and seeking attention then maybe the man should wonder why, maybe he should realize that it was his fault for obviously denying her affection.

"Maybe he didn't want me," Johanna continued on. "Or maybe he had hoped for another boy. I don't know his reasons…I don't even know if he knows his reasons for hating me."

If her father had actually told her that he hated her, Jim was going to go track the man down and punch him in the mouth for it.

"Has he said that to you?" he asked.

"No, but I feel like he does. My mother says that he loves me, but I have my doubts."

"Does he ever tell you that he loves you?"

"Rarely," Johanna answered. "I never really believe it."

He couldn't fault her for that. "What about your sister?" he inquired. "Does he treat her the same way as he treats you?"

"In some ways he does," she replied. "I think she gets off a little easier though because she's the baby. She doesn't seem to irritate him as much as I do."

"That's a terrible way to grow up," he commented.

Johanna ran a hand through her hair and looked at him, "I don't want you to think that I had a terrible childhood," she told him. "I didn't…I had plenty of good times and I have a lot of good memories. My mother and I have always been close and I love my sister and she loves me. It's just where my father is concerned that there's…I don't know what to call it. Regret, maybe?"

"It seems to me that he should be the one with the regrets, Johanna, not you," Jim responded.

"But maybe if I had been better it wouldn't be that way between us. I've tried," she said. "I've tried to make things better, to make him proud of me but I always seem to come up short with the exception of one occasion."

"What occasion was that?"

"When I graduated from law school," she answered, a smile curving her lips and lighting up her eyes a bit although her fingers didn't stray away from her ring. "He was proud of me that day."

"He should be," Jim stated. He didn't know her father but he felt as though it would be easy to hate the man. He'd like to run into him and tell him a few things about his daughter and how lucky he should feel to have her. He'd like to get a hold of her brother too and break his arm for him so he would know how his sister had felt.

Johanna allowed the memory of her graduation to come back to her and how it had felt to have her father's approval for once when she handed him her law degree. He had looked at her with pride…had even told her that he was proud. He had embraced her, kissed her cheek, and called her his little girl. He had taken her and her mother and sister out to dinner and he had even bragged to his friend, who was the owner of the restaurant, about her achievement. During dessert he had pulled a small velvet ring box from his pocket and had handed it to her, telling her it was a gift from him and her mother. She looked down at the emerald ring adorning her right hand. She cherished that ring, it was her reminder that there had been one occasion when he had been proud to call her his daughter; and she had cherished that day, because even as she had enjoyed it, she had known it wouldn't last, and it hadn't. By then end of the week he was back to telling her that she didn't have the sense god gave a goose.

"You play with that a lot," Jim said as he gestured to her ring.

She smiled and dropped her fingers away from the stone, "Bad habit," she stated.

He laughed softly and took her hand in his, "My mother has that same habit and so does my sister, only she tends to play with her necklace instead of her rings."

"Must be a girl thing," Johanna stated.

"My father says it's a nervous habit," he replied.

"My mother says I tap my foot when I'm nervous," she remarked.

"I've noticed that," Jim told her.

"Great," she said with a hint of mild sarcasm.

He chuckled, "It's alright, Jo," he told her. "Everyone has nervous habits, it's no big deal."

"It will be when everyone in the office catches on to it," she remarked, "Then they'll have something else to laugh at."

"Don't pay any attention to them," he told her.

"That's easy for you to say."

He supposed that was true. Johanna and every other woman in the building were more open to ridicule than he was.

"Is there a story behind that ring?" he asked, shifting the focus away from her nervous tendencies. He had a feeling about that ring she wore now that he was putting things together and he wanted to see if he was right.

"My parents gave it to me when I graduated from law school."

So he was right, he thought. The ring was associated with her father which was why she toyed with it when she spoke of him.

"It's pretty," he said; not wanting to make her feel self conscience about her habit.

Johanna smiled, "It is, isn't it? My mother has good taste."

"She probably picked it to go with your eyes," he told her.

"I don't know about that," she said as she ducked her head somewhat shyly.

"What else has your brother done to you?" Jim asked. "I hope there wasn't anything worse than the broken arm."

"That was the worst," Johanna replied. "The rest was the standard hitting, pushing, and hair pulling type of stuff. See this scar?" she said as she drew her leg up and pointed at her knee.

"Yeah."

"That's a souvenir from when he pushed me and I fell on the ice when I was about 8."

"I guess he didn't get punished for that either," Jim said with undisclosed dismay.

She laughed softly, "My mother yelled at him and made him stay in for the rest of the day. That was like a life sentence for him."

He still looked troubled by what she had told him and she smiled as she covered his hand with her own.

"Weren't you ever mean to your sister?" she asked.

"Not like that," Jim said. "I never caused her to break a bone and I'm pretty sure I never left her with scars and neither did my brothers. I think the worst thing I ever did to Madelyn was when I pushed her into a mud puddle."

"You didn't," she laughed.

Jim grinned at the memory, "I did…it was a big puddle too, she made quite a splash."

"And how old were you when you did this?"

"12," he replied. "She was 10."

"What happened?" Johanna asked. "Did she get even?"

"I was still laughing when she got up," he told her, "So I wasn't paying much attention and she used that as her opportunity to charge at me and knock me into the puddle."

"That's what you get," Johanna said, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

"I should've known you'd take her side," he laughed.

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Of course," Jim said. "It was the first day of school; we were wearing our new clothes and shoes."

"Oh no," she said as she laughed. "Please tell that this incident occurred on the way home from school."

"It did," he replied. "My mother was livid."

"I'm sure she was," she said before she smiled and added, "I bet you were a cute little boy."

Jim laughed, "And I'm certain that you were an adorable little girl."

"Well now I know where the two of you ran off to," Jeff stated as he approached the bench they were occupying.

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked him.

Jeff gave them a disgruntled look, "That damn Maggie," he stated.

Johanna laughed, "What did she do to you this time?"

"Same thing she always does," he told her. "Leads me on and then turns up her nose and goes off with someone else."

Jim laughed, "Maybe she's playing hard to get."

"Maybe she's trying to make you jealous," Johanna suggested.

"It's not working," Jeff replied.

"Right," Jim scoffed as he shared a look with Johanna.

"She can just keep on being that way," Jeff said, ignoring Jim's comment completely. "I don't need that kind of abuse."

"That's right," Johanna said as she humored him. "You can find some other girl."

"Damn right," he said. "I'm sure there are any number of women who would be thrilled to have me. I ooze charm and sex appeal."

"You've been talking to your mother again, haven't you?" Johanna teased, causing Jim to choke on his soda.

"Ha ha, Sassy," Jeff replied.

"Do to Maggie what she does to you," Jim suggested once he stopped laughing. "See how she likes it."

Jeff considered the idea for a moment, "I could do that."

"Why don't you take Jackie out," Johanna said. "She's crazy about you."

Jeff grinned at her, "You're cute, Sassy. You know that Jackie is just crazy period."

"Well then it'll be a match made in heaven," Jim quipped.

"You know," Jeff said, "If you're not going to be a solution to the problem, than don't bother."

"We're helping," Jim said. "Jo gave you a suggestion."

Their friend grinned mischievously, "I have a suggestion for the two of you," he stated.

"Keep it to yourself," Jim told him. "We're not interested. Are we?"

"Nope," Johanna said. "We were just sitting here minding our own business."

"Uh huh," Jeff said, "Sitting here looking nice and cozy together."

Johanna narrowed her eyes at him, "Why don't you try asking Karen to go out with you."

"Oh, changing the subject," Jeff teased.

"Shut up," Jim told him. "Karen's a good choice for you; I hear she's lowered her standards."

"You're just a comedian today too," his friend replied. "What is this, comedy night in the park with Jim and Johanna?"

"Fine," Jim laughed. "If you don't like Karen, go for Melanie."

"Good God," Johanna said as she rolled her eyes, "Don't go out with Melanie."

"Why not?" Jeff asked. "Everyone else does."

"That's exactly why you shouldn't," Johanna told him. "You're better than that."

"I don't know," Jeff said. "Melanie might be a good choice."

"I guess so if you're looking for something cheap and classless," she retorted.

"I know she can be mean," Jeff said, "But she's not that bad, and besides, beggars can't be choosers."

She rolled her eyes again while Jim smiled to himself as he watched. "Maggie is not going to be bothered if you go out with the tri-state slut," Johanna said. "She's just going to think that you're desperate."

"I am!" he exclaimed.

"Fine," she said. "Date a slut, I don't care, but don't come crying to me when it blows up in your face."

"Yes, mother," Jeff teased before looking to his best friend. "Maybe Melanie will have a friend for you Jim."

"Surely you wouldn't go out with one of Melanie's friends," Johanna said to him.

"I might," Jim said. "If the offer was intriguing enough."

She gave them both a disgusted look, "I don't even want to hear this. You're both hopeless."

"Jim and I accepted that long ago," Jeff quipped. "It doesn't bother us."

"Apparently," she said as she shifted her attention away from them as they carried on their conversation.

Their voices faded into the background as she focused her attention on a little girl a short distance away. She couldn't have been more than 5, and she was desperately clinging to her ice cream cone as an older boy, who Johanna assumed was her brother, pulled at the bow in her hair and then began to poke and shove her.

Johanna watched intently as the little girl did her best to hold her own against him, but the boy was relentless and eventually he deliberately knocked her ice cream cone out of her hand, causing her to burst into tears, while he smugly held his own cone out of harms way. It could've been a scene from her own childhood. She and Colleen had lost more ice cream cones and candy bars to Frankie then she could count.

She brushed the memories away as she watched the little girl lunge at her brother in an attempt to get even. The boy was quicker, however, and he gave her a hard shove, sending her to the ground. He laughed merrily and then took off, leaving his sister sobbing in the dirt. Johanna's heart broke for her.

She sighed and picked up her purse as she rose from the bench.

"Where are you going?" Jim asked; as he had noticed that she had been watching the scene play out.

"I'll be back."

"I bet that little girl is going to get a new ice cream cone," Jeff said as he sat down.

I have that feeling too," Jim commented as he continued to watch Johanna as she approached the little girl. She knelt down in front of her and although he couldn't hear what she was saying, he imagined that she was asking the child if she was okay. They talked for a few moments and then Johanna pulled some tissues from her purse and swiped at the girl's cheeks and hands.

Jim's gaze stayed glued upon them as she helped the girl to her feet and then brushed the dirt and grass off of her legs and dress. She then took on the task of fixing the bow in her hair. They kept talking, and she said something that made the little girl smile widely. Johanna picked up her bag and got to her feet and took the child's hand and led her to the ice cream vendor.

"She's going to make a great mom someday," Jeff remarked as they watched her pay for an ice cream cone that she then carefully handed to the girl.

Jim nodded, "There's no doubt in my mind about that."

Jeff smirked at him, "Keep her in mind when you're looking for someone to be the mother of your children."

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Jim said.

His friend laughed, "Don't worry; I'll let you get back to your one on one time with Sassy as soon as I say goodbye to her."

Johanna finally made her way back to them and Jim caught her eye, "Is she okay?"

"She's better now," she answered.

"If I cry will you buy me an ice cream?" Jeff asked.

She smirked at him, "Only if you get punched first."

"Just kidding," he laughed. "That was sweet of you to do."

"Yeah well, little sisters have to stick together," she replied.

"What's her name?" Jim asked, because he was sure she had found out.

"Ava," Johanna answered.

"And what did you say to Ava to make her smile the way she did?" Jim inquired.

She smiled, "Just a little advice from one sister to another."

"You're not going to tell us?" Jim stated.

"Nope," she laughed. "It's a secret."

"Well I guess I'll get going," Jeff said. "I'll let you two get back to your date…I mean day."

They both glared at him as he said goodbye and then they settled back into their conversation.

When it came time for the fireworks, Jim and Johanna followed the crowd and moved to a better location. They staked out a place on the grass and settled in for the show. Jim enjoyed watching the bright colors explode against the dark sky, but he also enjoyed watching Johanna as she kept her gaze riveted to the sky.

He couldn't help but smile as he watched her. She had that look of almost childlike glee or her face and it was impossible not to be entranced by it. It seemed as though she could find immense joy in almost anything. He figured that was probably a good thing, especially in light of what she had to put up with in her life.

"What?" she asked when she caught him staring at her.

"Nothing," Jim replied with a slight smile.

She looked at him as though she didn't believe him, but she said nothing as another firework exploded and directed her attention back to the sky.

* * *

When the show was over, he took her home, following her inside her apartment to finish the conversation they had started on the drive to her building.

Johanna followed him to the door when he was ready to go, but instead of reaching for the doorknob he turned back towards her and looked at her.

"That secret sisterly advice you gave to the little girl in the park, was that advice that had been passed on to you?" Jim asked.

She smiled, "Yes, it was something my aunt Bridget told me when I was a kid. She understood what I was going through with Frankie."

"Which side of the family is she on?"

"She's my father's sister," Johanna answered. "She has horror stories of her own."

"I don't doubt it," Jim said. After what he had heard about her father it didn't come as a surprise to learn that he had been a mean child. Apparently nothing had changed and history had repeated itself in the form of Johanna's brother.

"Are you close to her?" he asked, hoping that she had someone other than her mother and sister in her corner.

She nodded, "Yeah, we're close," she said with a smile. "Every summer, Frankie, Colleen and I would spend two weeks with her and her family. She has a big house in Long Island. She didn't put up with Frankie's behavior," she added with a laugh.

Jim chuckled, "Did she make him toe the line?"

"Oh yeah," she said. "Colleen and I loved it there; we had two weeks of peace from the demon, as we called him."

"Demon sounds fitting," Jim agreed.

Johanna looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think I spent the majority of my breaks from college with Aunt Bridget. After living in the dorm, I wasn't anxious to spend a lot of time living with my father again, even temporarily."

"Do you see her much now?"

"Not as much as I'd like," Johanna answered. "I do talk to her once or twice a week. I told her that I'd be taking a few days off in August and that I'd be out to visit her."

Jim smiled, "I bet you're counting the days. I'm sure you'll be happy to get a break from the office."

She grinned, "Well it is nice to get away once in awhile…especially when getting away means I don't have to see people I hate."

He laughed, "Can I go too? I could use a break."

Johanna laughed, "Sure, the more the merrier. Should we take Jeff too?"

Jim shook his head, "No, we'll let him here to fend for himself."

They laughed together and then it grew quiet as they stood there together, glancing at each other as if they were unsure of whether they should say goodnight or not. He didn't know where the urge to hug her came from, but suddenly it was there and he reached for her and pulled her into his arms without hesitation.

"What's this for?" she asked as she sank into the comfort of his embrace.

"Do I have to have a reason?" he inquired.

"No," Johanna replied. "But if there is one, I hope it isn't pity because I grew up with a horrid brother and an unfeeling father."

"I'm not pitying you," he stated. "I'd only do that if they had managed to break your spirit, but it's obvious that they haven't."

She smiled as he released her. "Don't pity me because I get picked on at work, either."

'Picked on,' wasn't the term for it, he thought. Harassment was more like it, but maybe it was easier for her to deal with if she thought about it in lesser terms.

"If anyone gives you any problems, you let me know," Jim told her.

Johanna smiled indulgently, "You don't have to fight my battles. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself."

"I know you can take care of yourself," he replied, "But that doesn't mean that you have to fight your battles alone…and you're not all that big," he said lightly as he looked at her. She had kicked her shoes off and was now standing a few inches shorter than he was accustomed to.

She smirked at him, "Don't underestimate me," she told him. "I could beat someone up if I had to."

Jim laughed, "You think so?"

"Hey, I gave Frankie a black eye when I was ten!" she exclaimed.

"Did you get in trouble?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered with a grin, "But it was _so _worth it."

"Good for you," he told her proudly. "But beating up a kid is different."

"What?" she said as her brow rose in challenge, "You don't think I can take you?"

"Oh I'm sure you could take me," he said suggestively, allowing his gaze to move over her for added effect.

She blushed and swatted his arm, "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," he grinned, "But that scenario would be more fun."

She laughed, "I guess it would be, after all, you don't want to get beat up by a girl."

Jim laughed, "You really think you can do it?"

"Of course I can," she stated confidently.

"Alright," he said, "Go ahead, give me your best shot."

She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she narrowed her eyes at him, "Are you making fun of me?"

"Never," he chuckled. "I'm just giving you a chance, I thought you wanted to fight and prove to me that you could take me on."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "Oh like it would be a fair fight."

"What?" he exclaimed.

"We both know I'd win because you wouldn't fight back against me."

"What makes you so sure?" he asked.

She looked him in the eye, "Because you're not that kind of guy."

Jim smiled at her, "Who told?" he joked.

Johanna laughed softly, "No one had to tell me, I figured it out all on my own."

"Well if you had told me sooner that you were so confident in your abilities to punch someone, I would've grabbed a hold of Stanley and allowed you to demonstrate on him."

"Don't tempt me like that," she teased.

He laughed, "Maybe we better change your nickname from Sassy to Slugger."

She wrinkled her nose, "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

Johanna grinned, "I like 'Sassy'," she told him.

"What a coincidence," he replied. "I like her too."

"You know what I mean," she said as her cheeks warmed again.

Jim smiled at her, taking in that blush on her cheeks and that sparkle in her green eyes. He loved her eyes, they were so expressive and beautiful and he knew that it wouldn't take much for him to drown in them if presented with the opportunity.

His fingers reached out without his permission and skimmed her face. "You have beautiful eyes," he said, without really meaning to say it aloud.

"Thank you," she whispered as she smiled softly. "I got my green eyes from my Aunt Bridget."

He chuckled softly, "Does that drive your father crazy?"

Johanna shrugged, "If it does, he's never said anything about it…which is a miracle, because believe me if he has a problem with something, he lets you know."

He did feel sorry for her in the sense that she hadn't grown up with a wonderful father like he did, but he couldn't say anything that even hinted at that. She didn't want pity or sympathy, and he wouldn't offend her by offering it. Instead, he leaned closer and brushed a kiss across her cheek, allowing his lips to linger against her skin.

That action was all it took to bring back those feelings of the night he had kissed her, two months before and suddenly he had the urge to do it again. How could he not when he was in such close proximity to her, and she was looking at him as if she were thinking the same thing herself. It wouldn't be wrong would it, he wondered. It wasn't like he kissed her everyday…although he sometimes caught himself thinking about it…thinking about those kisses they had shared that night back in May.

Johanna was holding her breath, hearing Sharon's words ringing in her ears about how once the kissing started it usually continued…not that she minded if it continued, but still there were worries that came attached with it, and she was sure that it was those worries that had them standing so close together, unmoving and hesitating to give into the pull between them. She almost thought that it wasn't going to happen, but then he dipped his head and kissed her lightly, a mere brush of his lips against hers that made her want more. She surprised herself by being bold enough to recapture his lips when he parted from her, bringing him back for a more satisfying kiss that she figured would hold her over for another few months.

It was time to say goodnight, Jim thought to himself once they broke apart. If they didn't, he'd be tempted to stand there all night and kiss her, and that wasn't an urge he should give in to. That urge could lead to another and that was a line they shouldn't cross. He did, however, allow himself to press another kiss to her cheek as he said goodnight.

"Goodnight," she told him as he opened up the door.

"See you tomorrow," he said as he stepped out into the hallway.

Johanna smirked, "Back to work, can hardly wait."

He smiled, "You know where to find me if you need me."

She nodded and then closed the door as he walked away. She was about to go get ready for bed when her phone rang. She had a feeling it was Sharon; she was after all the only one who called her that late in the evening. Sharon probably needed details of her day as a bedtime story. Johanna laughed to herself and by passed the phone. She could've answered it, but it was way more fun to make Sharon wonder where she may be or what she might be doing…and with whom.


	4. Chapter 4

_Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews, as always. Chapter 31 of Apologize is in the works…I swear!_

_For Andy, because we have so much fun together on Twitter ;) lol._

Chapter 4 – The Sting of Jealousy

3 months later

Johanna's gaze rose from the papers on her desk and focused on Jim as he opened the door of her office.

"Hey," he said as he stepped inside.

"Hey," she returned as a smile slid across her face as he sat down across from her desk.

"I haven't seen much of you lately," Jim commented casually.

Did that mean he missed her? Johanna wondered, before brushing the thought away.

"I've been busy," she answered. "I've had back to back cases in court and I have two that I'm preparing."

"I know," he replied, "And I heard that you've done very well in court."

She grinned at him, "Keeping tabs on me?"

Jim laughed, "No, I asked Sharon where you've been hiding. I thought maybe you skipped town and forgot to take me with you."

"Would I do that?" she teased.

"Wouldn't surprise me."

"You have my phone number," Johanna said. "You could've called me."

He shrugged, "I figured you'd turn up eventually."

A smirk lifted the corners of her lips, so he didn't miss her that much after all, she thought to herself. "Well here I am; do you need something?"

"No," he told her, "I just wanted to see you."

That was a better sentiment, Johanna thought and so she smiled and gave in to the urge to tease him. "That really translates into you have a stack of work on your desk that you don't want to do just yet so you came looking for someone to distract you."

Jim grinned, "You're always my first choice for entertainment."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult," Johanna laughed.

"I meant it in the best possible way," he replied, "You're the one accusing me of being a procrastinator."

Her gaze flicked to his, "I don't have to accuse you, the evidence speaks for itself."

"What evidence?"

"That stack of files and papers I saw sitting on the corner of your desk when I walked past this morning."

"Maybe that's the stack that I'm done with," Jim remarked, his eyes alight with amusement.

She laughed, "Yeah right."

"Hey," he said, "That stack on your desk doesn't look any better."

Before she could comment, the door opened again and Jeff slipped inside.

"Oh look," Johanna said to Jim, "It's your shadow."

"You know you love me Sassy," Jeff commented as he took the seat next to his friend.

"Of course, it's like a two for one sale," she said as she gestured between them, "What woman doesn't love that?"

"Wait a minute," Jeff said, "Are you implying that Jim is the designer pair of shoes you're buying and I'm just the cheap, knockoff pair that you're getting for free?"

"That sounds about right," Jim remarked with a laugh.

"What can I do for you today, Mr. Campbell?"

"I heard there was a Sassy sighting in the building so I figured that Jim was here checking it out and I didn't want to miss anything good."

"You two act like I've disappeared without leaving a forwarding address," Johanna remarked. "I'm here every day."

"You haven't been here much," Jeff told her. "Jim's been pining away for you."

Johanna laughed as she shifted her gaze to Jim, "Then you really should've called me."

He's the one that's been pining away," Jim retorted playfully. "You're the only woman in the building who hasn't thrown him out of her office yet."

"That's probably true," Johanna replied.

"Is not," Jeff retorted, "Frances hasn't thrown me out."

"Frances is 70," Johanna reminded him.

He shrugged, "Ladies of all ages love me."

"That's another rumor started by his mother," Jim said to Johanna, making her laugh.

"Aren't you glad you're here today, Sassy," Jeff stated, "See how we've brightened up your day already?"

She rolled her eyes, "Is this the part where I'm supposed to apologize for not being around as much the last few weeks?"

"That would be a start," Jim told her.

She shook her head at them, "Why don't the two of you just punish me and be done with it."

"Why do you think we're here inflicting our presence upon you, Jo?" Jim teased. "This is your punishment."

"Talk about cruel and unusual," she remarked as she glanced down at her papers.

"You haven't even been meeting up with the group for a drink at the end of the week like you usually do," Jeff observed.

"I'm sorry."

Her colleague grinned at her, "Well it is Friday night once again."

"And?" Johanna said.

"Will you be joining us?" Jim asked.

"I can't," Johanna replied.

"Why not?"

"I have plans," she answered.

"What kind of plans," Jeff asked. "Surely there can't be something better than spending time with your nearest and dearest friends."

She smirked at him, "Who said you were my nearest and dearest?"

Jeff put a hand over his heart, "You wound me, Sassy. Come on, you know you want to come out and play with us tonight. You have been neglecting us, after all."

Johanna laughed, "If I was neglecting the two of you, I wouldn't be allowing you to loiter in my office."

"Do you notice how she still hasn't told us what her plans are?" Jim said to Jeff.

His friend nodded, "Yes, I've noticed her avoidance of the issue."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "If you must know, I have a date."

There was momentary silence as both men regarded her as if she had just spoken in a foreign language.

"A date?" they both said simultaneously.

Her brow rose as she looked across her desk at them, "Why do you sound so surprised?" she asked; a hint of defensiveness in her tone.

Neither man seemed to have a response to her question and she scoffed lightly as she eyed them. "What? You don't think I date?"

Jeff shrugged, "Maybe it's just the fact that we so rarely hear of you dating."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "Some people don't feel the need to broadcast all of their personal business for the world to know."

"So who is this guy you're going on a date with?" Jim asked; his curiosity getting the better of him. "Anyone we know?"

"No, I don't think so," Johanna replied. "His name is Brad."

'Brad,' he thought to himself with a slight hint of disdain. All the Brad's he had ever met were self absorbed and lacking in personality. That wasn't Johanna's type at all.

"How long has this been going on?" Jeff inquired.

"Almost two months," she replied.

"Almost two months!" Jim exclaimed, "And we're just now hearing about this?"

Johanna laughed, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was supposed to report to you all the details of my personal life."

"It's not like that," Jim said.

"Oh no?" she asked. "Then what is it?"

He shrugged, "Well we're all friends…and this is usually the type of thing you'd share with friends."

"Yeah," Jeff remarked. "We'd tell you if we were dating someone."

"Maybe I didn't think anyone would care," Johanna said as her gaze subtly slid towards Jim.

Jeff caught the gaze that she shot his best friend and he heard the slightly accusing inflection of her tone. He said nothing though, biting back a grin in response.

"Of course we care," Jim stated, oblivious to Johanna's pointed look and tone. "What do you know about this guy?"

"What does he do?" Jeff inquired.

A short laugh escaped her, "Really, guys?"

"Inquiring minds want to know, Johanna," Jeff replied. "So let's hear all about this boyfriend of yours."

'Brad the boyfriend,' Jim thought to himself, he couldn't picture her with a 'Brad'. It just didn't seem right.

Johanna smirked at them, "I know it's been a few weeks since I've seen my parents, but I swear I don't remember them looking anything like the two of you."

"You're cute, Jo," Jim said with a light laugh.

"I'm serious," she replied, "This is starting to feel like one of those parental interrogations."

"Hey, you can't blame us for wanting to look out for you," Jim stated. "We care about you."

"And we don't want you to date a loser," Jeff told her. "Now, what does this guy do?"

"He's in advertising," Johanna answered.

"Advertising," Johanna's friends said with a smirk and a nod.

"What's wrong with that?" she asked.

"Nothing," Jim said with a shrug. "It just sounds a little boring. I figured you'd go for someone more exciting."

"Like what?" she retorted, "A lion tamer?"

Jeff laughed, "I was thinking more along the lines of a billionaire with a yacht."

"I haven't run into any billionaire's lately."

"Is he any good at advertising?" Jim asked.

She shifted her gaze back to him, "Brad has done several major campaigns. He's very successful."

Oh great, Jim thought, now he was Brad, the successful boyfriend. He didn't like the sound of this, and when he realized that the feeling might be drifting into a dangerous area, he tried to convince himself that he was only thinking these things because he wanted what was best for her…and he doubted that was Brad…even if he hadn't met the man.

Jeff chuckled, "Well then he's probably really boring."

"He is not!"

"Then why haven't we met him?" Jim asked. "Don't you want to introduce your friends?"

"Maybe I don't want him to know how low I've had to stoop to find friends," Johanna teased.

"Hey, we're the best you're going to find," Jim chuckled.

"I'm not so sure about that."

"I bet I know why she hasn't brought him around," Jeff said. "I bet he's ugly."

Johanna dropped the pen she was holding and leaned back in her chair as she shook her head at them.

"Is that what it is, Jo?" Jim asked. "Is this guy ugly and you're ashamed to bring him around?"

"He is not ugly," she stated. "I'll have you both know that Brad is very handsome."

"Where did you meet him?" Jim questioned.

Johanna was quiet for a second, "I'm not telling."

He grinned, "You know what that means, don't you, Jeff?"

"No, what?" his friend replied.

"It means her mother found him for her in the produce aisle of the supermarket," Jim said with a laugh.

"How did you come up with that one?" Jeff asked as he shook with laughter.

"That's where my mother finds men for my sister," Jim answered. "Much to her dismay of course."

"So is it true, Sassy? Did your mother find this guy for you at the supermarket?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "She's learned her lesson about that."

Her statement only made them laugh harder and she could've kicked herself for uttering those last few words.

"I hate you both," Johanna said as her friends continued to chuckle.

"You mean that you hate to love us," Jeff stated, that lazy smile he usually wore upon his face.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's just hate," Johanna remarked flippantly.

"So where did you find him?" Jim asked, "Or did he find you?"

Johanna picked up her pen and ignored the question. There was no way that she was telling him that this had been a fix up courtesy of her sister. He'd really have a field day with that one…and it was all his fault anyway, she couldn't help but think to herself. He'd kissed her in May, and then he'd kissed her again on the fourth of July…and then a few weeks later she heard that he had asked out an assistant and the knowledge had irritated her. He didn't seem to mind kissing her so why didn't he ask her out? It had hurt her at first, and then it had merely been an annoyance as she couldn't understand just why it bothered her as much as it did. So what if they had kissed? It didn't mean she had a claim to him and it wasn't like she was in love with him or something…although Sharon seemed to think she was…but Sharon was wrong, Johanna told herself. There was an attraction…there was friendship…she liked him…a lot…she'd even go as far as to admit to herself that she had a crush on him, but that was all it was, and besides, crushes were something that you were meant to get over. So she had said yes when Colleen had brought up the topic and Brad was a nice man and she enjoyed his company and she felt like things were going well enough between them.

"It's too bad we don't have her on the witness stand," Jeff commented, pulling her from her thoughts. "We could ask the judge to let us treat her as a hostile witness."

She smirked at them, "You two are just nosy."

"Come on, Jo," Jeff said, "We want to hear about your exploits. I'll tell you mine."

Johanna laughed, "I'd have to take time off from work and get a score card to be able to keep up with your exploits, Jeff."

"Well at least we know now why we've been getting thrown over," Jeff teased. "Sassy caught herself a man."

"I think there's probably something wrong with this guy," Jim said as he eyed his pretty colleague. "She's being too secretive about him."

"I think you're right," Jeff agreed. "I bet that Brad is boring, ugly and is probably really a refrigerator salesman from Jersey."

"That's it!" Johanna exclaimed; a hint of a smile on her lips, "Get out of my office and go do your work."

"I'm having more fun here," Jim told her.

"Recess is over," she replied. "Get out."

"Listen at her getting all huffy," Jeff said teasingly as he and Jim rose from their chairs.

"You probably hit too close to the truth," Jim replied.

"Out!" Johanna laughed as she gestured to the door with her pen.

* * *

The men stepped out of her office and were met by Sharon's amused stare as she sat at her desk.

"What was going on in there and why wasn't I invited to be a part of it?" the secretary demanded to know.

"We just found out about Sassy's boyfriend."

"That's old news," Sharon said with a dismissive wave.

"It's news to us," Jim commented and both of his co-workers heard the undertone in his voice that suggested that he wasn't all that happy about the development.

Jeff and Sharon shared a look and they were both thinking the same thing, maybe a bit of jealousy would force Jim to make a move.

As Jim and Jeff walked down the hallway in the direction of their offices, Jeff couldn't help but rib his friend a little. "See what happens when you don't make a move," he commented. "Now she has a boyfriend."

Jim shot him a look, "What makes you think I care if she dates someone."

His friend grinned knowingly, "Oh you care," he said. "I can see it all over your face."

"You're either seeing things or you need glasses," Jim remarked in his own defense.

"Don't worry," Jeff said, "I'm sure Brad isn't much of a threat. It's probably just a little fling…like that little fling you had with that assistant several weeks ago. We all know that you and Johanna are crazy about each other."

"We're just friends."

"Right," Jeff stated, "That's the story for publication. I have a lunch date with Maggie; I'll get all the details about this situation from her."

"Who said I wanted details?"

Jeff looked at him, "You know you want the details…hell, even I want the details, and I'll get them."

"What makes you so sure?"

"It's Maggie," Jeff said with a laugh, "She loves to gossip…especially if she's sipping a glass of wine while she does it."

Jim paused in front of his office and faced his friend, "I bet you don't get anything out of her."

"See," Jeff said, "I knew you wanted the details."

* * *

That afternoon, Jim's friend entered his office with a victorious grin on his face. "I got the details," Jeff announced.

"And?" Jim said.

"I thought you didn't want them?" Jeff remarked.

"Never mind the wisecracks," Jim said, "Just spit it out."

"Alright, according to Maggie, this Brad guy is friend of Johanna's sister's fiancée; she's the one who fixed them up."

A sister fix-up, Jim thought to himself, that was probably better then a fix up staged by a mother.

"Anything else?"

"He is some hot shot in the advertising world and he drives a Porsche."

"Is he ugly?" Jim asked, recalling Jeff's comment from earlier.

His friend gave a look of distaste and Jim smiled as it obviously meant that Maggie had said that the guy was good looking and Jeff would've taken that as a threat.

"According to her, he has the looks of a movie star…but you know you can't always trust Maggie's taste in men."

"Obviously."

"I know you're upset about this recent development in Johanna's life, so I'm going to let that remark pass," Jeff said good naturedly.

"I'm not upset about anything," Jim said defensively. "If she's happy that's all that matters. It isn't like we were together or something."

His friend nodded as if agreeing with him, but they both knew that there was a sarcastic comment lingering in the recesses of Jeff's mind…and he was good enough to let it there and instead said, "Brad is supposed to be waiting for her outside the building when she gets off work. I say we lurk in the shadows and get a look at this guy."

Jim hated to admit it, but he was all for that plan.

A few hours later, Jim and Jeff were standing a short distance away from the building of the law firm, looking for a Porsche and waiting for Johanna to exit the building. Finally, at a little after five, a red Porsche pulled up in front of the building and a man got out and waited on the sidewalk.

"That must be him," Jeff commented and Jim nodded as they waited to get a better look at him.

He saw Johanna exiting the building and he watched her as she made her way down the steps and made a beeline for the man standing next to the car. She looked happy to see him…and for whatever reason that thought irritated him, and then he watched as Brad kissed her before opening the passenger side door for her and he suddenly felt like he had been punched in the stomach…and that was a ridiculous feeling to have, he chastened himself.

"It's worse then ugly," Jeff said as they caught a better look at Brad. "He's a Ken doll."

Jim scoffed, "Yeah, fake and plastic looking."

"It won't last," Jeff said. "He's not her type."

Jim hoped he was right.

* * *

One Month Later

Johanna had just stepped outside of her office, all prepared to go home, when she saw Jim stalking into his own office. He didn't look happy. Her feet began to move forward, taking her in his direction to find out what was wrong, but then she stopped herself.

Why should she, she wondered, after all they hadn't even spoken in days. "Let Melanie find out what's bothering him," she thought to herself; bristling once again at the knowledge she had acquired about him and her adversary. She scoffed lightly, she really hadn't thought that he'd stoop that low; apparently she had been wrong. She supposed that his liaison with Melanie was the reason of his recent avoidance of her. With Melanie in the picture, apparently she wasn't needed.

She didn't know what had gotten into him but for the last month he had been distant and when he did spend time in her company, she couldn't help but feel like she was suddenly a joke to him. Their banter which had always been fun and lighthearted was now laced with an undertone of seriousness. Her friend, her ally, the person whose company she enjoyed so much, was suddenly her sparring partner.

It didn't make sense...and it hurt. With that thought in mind she began to move forward again, but this time her intent would be to keep on walking. She wouldn't be making any stops at his door. She had things to do and a date to get ready for. If Jim wanted to talk to her, he knew where to find her.

* * *

Through the open doorway of his office, Jim caught sight of Johanna walking by, not even bothering to turn her head in the direction of his door. He scowled at her back as she disappeared down the hallway. 'Probably running off to meet Brad,' he thought to himself which only made him scowl more.

He'd finally met her boyfriend two weeks before and he hadn't been impressed. Brad was everything he thought he'd be; boring, lacking in humor and all about himself. It seemed to him that all Brad cared about was his career and bragging about his campaigns that had gone nationwide and then there was his Porsche. The man was obsessed with his car and Jim had a feeling that Brad felt more for his car than he felt for Johanna. Jim scoffed, the proof of that had been when Mr. Wonderful had mildly chastened her for leaning against his prized possession, which he had just had waxed and polished.

Jim frowned, he didn't know what the hell she saw in the guy or why she was even with him, but if that's what she wanted, so be it. She could have her boring ad man with his movie star looks and her little jaunts around town in his Porsche. He didn't care...or at least he told himself that he didn't; because really, what was the point in caring about it?

She'd made her choice...although perhaps it wasn't fair to think of it that way. It wasn't like she'd been handed a list of contenders but still, her choice of Brad showcased bad taste, in his opinion.

Apparently along with having a knack for picking a guy that was all wrong for her, she was also the type of woman who got so wrapped up in her relationship that she ignored her friends in favor of it. He didn't like that. In fact, he hadn't liked how she had been acting at all, but if that was how she wanted to be, that was fine. He didn't care. Let Brad take care of her. Let Brad worry about her. He had plenty of other friends and plenty of other things to do with his time. Like that mess of a case lying on his desk that needed straightened out. The problems with that case was capping off what had been an all around bad week. Johanna floated through his thoughts once more. They had gotten into the habit of consulting each other when they got stuck on something, but he wasn't going to go down that road, not with the way things had been between them lately. Besides, he mused, she probably wouldn't have time. Brad kept her pretty busy after all. Jim's jaw tightened and he ran a hand through his hair in agitation; that sounded petty even to him. He shook his thoughts of his colleague away and sat down at his desk. He'd work for a few more hours, he decided, and then he'd go have a drink and clear his head, that would do the trick. He didn't need Johanna McKenzie.

* * *

Jim walked into the bar, his mood still foul at the end of his long day that had never grown better despite his efforts to solve the problem of his case. He made his way to the bar and as he approached he caught sight of Miss. Johanna McKenzie, perched on one of the stools, a margarita in front of her. She was dressed up in a low cut green dress and matching heels, and from the barrette and small pile of hair pins lying next to her glass, he deduced that her hair had been swept up at one point. She didn't look happy and he smirked a bit as the thought crossed his mind that Brad must not have shown her a good time that night.

Jim ordered his drink and slid onto the vacant stool next to her. Johanna's gaze darted toward him but she said nothing, opting instead to pick up her drink and take a sip as she looked away. She had hoped that she wouldn't run into anyone and from Jim's silence as he nursed his drink, she thought that maybe he sensed that and was going to leave her alone...but then he dashed her hopes.

"Where's Mr. Wonderful?" Jim asked; sarcasm detectable in his tone.

"Hell for all I care," she remarked tartly.

He smirked, "Trouble in paradise?"

"There is no paradise."

He was quite for a moment and then said, "I take it that he dumped you?"

"What makes you think that I didn't dump him?" Johanna asked sharply as she turned so she could face him more directly.

"The fact that you're sitting here with that look on your face."

"What look?"

"That 'I just got dumped' look," he laughed.

She glared at him, "Fine, he dumped me. Are you happy now?"

He hated to admit it, even just to himself, but he was kind of happy that Brad the boyfriend was now Brad the ex. She must not have liked what she seen in his features because she gave him an affronted look.

"Go ahead and laugh, Jim," she stated with an edge, "It's obvious that you're dying to; all I've been to you lately is a joke anyway, that is when you're not avoiding me."

"I haven't been avoiding you!" he protested, even though he knew that he had been in some ways.

"Yes you have!"

"No I haven't. If anyone has been avoiding people, it's you," Jim declared. "You've been too busy being wrapped up in your perfect boyfriend."

"I have not!" she retorted sharply and then she smacked his shoulder as she caught his gaze dropping from her face down to the neckline of her dress, and it wasn't the first time she'd caught him doing that since he struck up the conversation.

"Quit trying to look down my dress."

"I'm not trying to look down your dress!" Jim replied.

"Yes you are."

"Well if you're going to put it out there, people are going to look," he remarked. "What were you doing, Jo, advertising for the ad man?"

Fire flashed in her narrowed green eyes and she licked her lips before unleashing a jab of her own. "No, I leave the advertising up to Melanie...and speaking of which, shouldn't you be with your bimbo instead of being here annoying me?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" Jim said; his brow raised as he regarded her.

"Oh, what?" Johanna said; her tone a sarcastic type of sweetness, "You didn't think I heard all about you and Melanie?"

"It's not what you think," he retorted.

"Uh huh."

"It's just business."

Johanna rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her drink. "Oh I'm sure she got right down to business with you."

"It's not like that."

"That's not what I've heard."

"We're just working together," Jim stated.

Johanna nodded, "Oh really? We've worked together and you've never taken me to a fancy restaurant like I heard you took her to, in fact I hear the two of you spent all of last weekend together and it had nothing to do with work."

He stared at her for a long moment, a slightly incredulous smile on his lips, "Jealous?" he asked.

"Jealous?" she laughed. "Of what?"

Jim shrugged, "You tell me."

She leaned closer, "The day will never come when I'm jealous of Melanie Thompson."

He gave a short laugh, "Oh I think the day is here."

"That's because you're delusional," she remarked.

"I know jealousy when I see it," Jim told her.

"Do you?" she asked. "In that case, why don't you tell me why you've been avoiding me?"

He gave a short laugh, "Surely you're not suggesting that I'm jealous of that idiot you've been running around with."

Johanna shrugged nonchalantly, "You tell me," she said; tossing his words back at him.

Jim laughed, "Sweetheart, you've done lost your mind."

"Oh I don't think so," Johanna retorted. "I think _I know_ jealousy when _I_ see it."

He shifted, facing her directly as she was him and he leaned closer, "There is nothing about your pretty boy ad man for me to be jealous of," he stated, his tone low and serious. "He's a stuck up, self absorbed loser, as I'm sure you're now aware of."

She took the jab in stride, "Better to date a loser than a tramp."

"At least you know where you stand with Melanie from the beginning," Jim said, "Unlike running the risk of being dumped...like you were by Brad."

Her lips curved upward in a bitter smile, "You just think you're so smart don't you?"

"Seems to be a trait we have in common," Jim remarked.

"You still never answered my question," Johanna stated.

"What question?"

"Why you've been acting like an ass towards me for the last month."

"Maybe I haven't liked the way you've been acting," he retorted.

"I haven't been acting any differently!"

"Yes you have," he said.

"Then enlighten me, Jim," she said tartly, "Tell me how I've been acting."

He stared into those fiery green eyes and thought about how annoyed he'd been with her for the past few weeks. In his opinion she had acted like she didn't need anyone else but Mr. Wonderful. She'd been acting so happy...like she didn't need him to make her smile or laugh...like he wasn't needed at all. He'd been avoiding her because he couldn't stand it...because he didn't even know why he felt that way and deep down he knew his feelings could be misconstrued as jealousy and maybe it was but he'd be damned if he'd ever admit it. He shouldn't care so much anyway, they were only friends, and it shouldn't matter if she was dating someone...but for some reason, it did matter, and he figured the why of that was best left unanswered.

"Well," she prodded, "Are you going to tell me or not?"

He scoffed, "I'm not going to spell it out for you; you know how you've been acting."

She returned his scoff with one of her own, "Which really means you don't have any real proof that I've been behaving any differently. You've just wanted to treat me badly like everyone else, and if that's how you want to be then fine!" she stated as her anger grew. "If you don't want to be my friend then just say so, you don't have to go through all of this trouble of trying to alienate me."

"My god you're ridiculous!" he stated angrily

"Am I?"

"Yes," Jim said sharply, "What, do you think because Brad rejected you that everyone else is too?"

"This isn't about him, it's about you and the way you've been treating me!"

"If I've treated you badly then it's because of the way you've been acting while with him."

"That's just your excuse," she said hotly.

They had progressively leaned closer as they argued and were almost nose to nose, their breathing ragged with anger and their lips barley inches apart and suddenly they became aware of that fact although neither one of them made a move to pull back into their own personal space.

It was if time was standing still as they stared into each others eyes, tension of another kind building between them until finally his hand cupped her face and pulled her forward, the inches between their lips disappearing as he claimed her mouth in a rough, heated kiss, each of them battling to dominate it in a mission to prove who was more powerful. Finally, he won out and she accepted instead of fighting for control and then he gentled the kiss while deepening it at the same time, allowing it to linger until finally the need to breathe pushed them apart. Silence fell between them and they shifted away from each other and downed the rest of their drinks.

That was better, Jim thought to himself. He didn't feel so annoyed with her now…in fact, he felt a lot better.

Johanna pushed a lock of hair back from her face and traced the rim of her empty glass. Suddenly, her anger had run out of steam, and while her feelings were still stung, she had to admit, she felt better.

* * *

In the shadows of the corner of the bar, Jeff Campbell stifled his laughter as he watched his friends bicker and then engage in a heated kiss. It was about time, he thought to himself as they came up for air and then turned away from each other. He knew that Jim had been less than thrilled ever since Brad had entered the picture, although he denied it profusely, and he had heard from Maggie just how annoyed Johanna had been by the knowledge that Jim had been spending time with Melanie. Those two couldn't see the forest for the trees, he thought as he shook his head.

"Those two have it bad for each other," the bartender said quietly as he followed Jeff's gaze towards Jim and Johanna.

"Yeah they do," Jeff said with a grin, "But they're both too damn stubborn to do anything about it. Come tomorrow, they'll act like that kiss never happened."

"You know them?" the bartender asked.

He nodded, "They're my friends...but don't tell them that I'm here."

The older man grinned at him, "Don't want to ruin the show?"

Jeff laughed quietly, "That and the fact that I never know when I might need to blackmail one of them."

The bartender chuckled, "My lips are sealed."

* * *

When the bartender drifted back towards their end of the bar, Jim signaled him to refill their drinks. Silence still lingered as they each took a sip of their fresh drinks and then Johanna broke the quiet by saying, "I didn't like him that much anyway."

"I didn't like him either," Jim stated as he glanced at her. "He wasn't good enough for you."

"Really?" she asked.

He nodded, "He was all wrong for you. I think he had more affection for himself and his fancy car than he did for you."

"He does love that car," Johanna replied.

"I had my suspicions that he was an idiot when I met him, and now he's confirmed it."

Johanna gave him a small smile and then grew quiet as her thoughts took over her mind. The relationship with Brad had ran its course and she had been contemplating breaking things off herself for the last week or two but she had held back...and the reason for that was sitting next to her. If she had broken up with Brad, she would've felt like she had been passed over once again when Jim started spending time with Melanie and she hadn't wanted to feel that way; and she had somehow convinced herself that if she was with someone then it wouldn't bother her if Jim was with someone too...but it had and delving into the specifics of what that meant didn't seem like a good thing to do.

When Brad had looked across the table at her that evening and said that he didn't feel things were working out, she had been fine and ready to accept an amicable split...but then he just had to go and tell her every little reason of why they weren't working out. He had to list all of her flaws and faults as he perceived them to be and she had to admit that a lot of the things he had said had been hurtful. It hadn't been necessary, she hadn't asked, he should've just left it at 'things aren't working out'.

"I was fine with breaking up," she said softly, "But he didn't have to be a jerk about it."

A surge of anger shot through Jim at the thought that she had been mistreated. "What did he do?"

"He said some things," she answered.

"What things?" he demanded to know.

"I don't want to talk about it," Johanna replied. "I don't want to repeat it."

"That bad?" Jim asked.

"Was to me," she said as tears pricked at her eyes.

Jim saw the sheen of moisture building in her eyes. He'd seen her happy, mad, sad, afraid, but he had never seen her cry and when that first teardrop slipped down her cheek, his heart constricted painfully. He was going to have to hunt Brad down and kill him now. His fingers reached out and swiped away her tears without any hesitation.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," she whispered as she turned her tearful gaze upon him. "It's not like I loved him. I knew it was over. I'm fine with it being over."

"He hurt your feelings," Jim answered. "And that was wrong. If he was done with you then that was all he needed to say. He didn't need to go out of his way to hurt you."

She nodded in agreement as she continued to cry. He couldn't handle her tears. Every one that fell twisted his heart. He slid off of his stool to stand beside her so that he could properly enfold her in his embrace. She sank into his arms willingly and he rested his chin a top her head as she quietly cried against his chest. He murmured soothing words as one hand threaded through her hair, trying desperately to comfort her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her.

"It's not your fault, you didn't do it," she answered as she remained nestled against him.

"I know," he replied, "But I'm still sorry that the idiot hurt you…and I'm sorry if I hurt you during the last few weeks."

There it was, she thought to herself, this was the person that had been missing for the last few weeks, this was her friend. He was back now.

"I'm sorry if I was acting differently," she told him as she pulled away to look at him.

Jim shook his head as he wiped away the tracks of her tears from her cheeks, "Don't be," he told her. "It was probably just me…I guess I haven't been myself lately."

She smiled at him as he retook his seat, "It's okay," she told him.

"Do you want me to key that car he loves so much?" he offered, "I could flatten all of the tires too."

Johanna laughed softly, "Could you?"

He grinned at her, "Just tell me where to find it."

"In his garage," she answered, "But he probably has an armed guard standing by the damn thing."

Jim laughed, "Maybe I could pay off the guard and then destroy it. It would serve him right."

"Yeah, it would," Johanna agreed, "He didn't even let me finish dinner."

"What a bastard," he stated with disdain before softening his tone as he looked at her, "Are you hungry? I'll get you something to eat."

She smiled at him; that was the sweetness she was accustomed to from him. "No," she said quietly, "I'm not hungry any more."

His gaze remained upon her face, taking in that soft smile that he was sure that she always gave just to him and before he knew what he was doing, he was leaning towards her and capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

"Tell me what to do to make you feel better," he whispered to her as he remained close to her.

The thought 'Kiss me again' floated through her mind but she swallowed those words. The music changed to something soft and slow and she looked into his compassionate blue eyes and murmured, "Dance with me." Jim nodded and slid from his seat once again, and he gently held on to her elbow as she did the same and then he led her to the dance floor. This was better, she thought to herself as he pulled her into his arms. If she could just be close to him like this for a little while, then she'd be fine.

They were silent through the first two songs that they danced to, but then Johanna looked up at him and asked, "What was bothering you at the office today?"

"A case," he answered, not bothering to question how she had known that something was bothering him at work, figuring it would be the same answer as always. She had just known without being told.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," he said. "It's just a mess and it doesn't make sense in some respects and I'm sure the answer is there but I've been over it so many times that I'm probably looking right at it and missing it."

She nodded in understanding, "It's probably something little."

"Probably," he agreed.

"If you want, I could look at it with you," she offered as she held his gaze.

She never ceased to amaze him, he thought to himself as he looked into her eyes. He had behaved badly towards her, all month and earlier that night, and there she was offering to help him fix his problem. Brad hadn't deserved her…and maybe he didn't either…in the friendship sense of the word, of course.

"Yeah," he answered, "That would be great. You're good at plucking out those tiny little details."

Johanna smiled, "I try."

"You never have to try," he said in a way that made her blush and she rolled her eyes at him which made him laugh.

She laughed lightly as she gazed at him. It amazed her how easily they could fall back into their routine and usual behavior...it was as if someone had hit a reset button and put them back to the way they were supposed to be. She was glad...she had missed him and with that thought in her mind she moved a little closer to him and took comfort in the feel of his arms around her and the light scent of his cologne.

It seemed as though they were absorbed in their own little world as they drifted back to the bar to finish off their drinks as they chatted amiably. When the music turned slow once more, she coaxed him back onto the dance floor with her...although he had to admit that he didn't mind dancing with Johanna.

They had steadily drifted closer to one another as song after song played, a comfortable silence lingering between them. Jim caught her eye as she looked up at him and for whatever reason he whispered to her, "You'll find someone better...someone who will love you and respect you."

She nodded, "I hope so."

He held her gaze, "I know so," he stated with conviction.

She wondered briefly if he had someone in mind for the job…someone like himself, and as she allowed herself a split second to ponder that, the atmosphere between them changed once again, becoming one of those charged little moments that seemed to sneak up on them without warning.

Johanna met him half way this time, wanting nothing more in that moment than his kiss and that small hope that maybe one day she'd be his. It seemed as though one kiss was never enough for them once they put their foot across that line and they remained wrapped up in each other on the dance floor, allowing those lingering little kisses to pass between them without comment, which was also their habit, she had noticed.

They had been sharing a particularly searing kiss when the sound of glass shattering startled them apart. It was all for the best anyway, Johanna thought to herself, it was better that they stop before things got too out of hand. Jim's eyes scanned the room and he caught sight of a fight at the other end of the bar. It looked as though it was being taken care of, but he led Johanna off the dance floor anyway, figuring it was probably best to put some space between them.

They retreated back to their places at the bar, where fresh drinks had been placed for them. Johanna took a few sips and then picked up her coat. "I think it's time to get out of here," she said as her eyes drifted towards the back and the loud discussion taking place.

"Yeah," he agreed, taking her coat from her and holding out for her to slip into. "I'll take you home."

"You don't have to do that," she told him, a light smile on her lips.

"I'm not letting you get into a cab by yourself at this time of night," Jim stated as he laid some money on the bar. "I'm going with you."

"I'm a big girl," she told him. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Well I'm going to make sure of it," Jim said as he took her arm and led her through the bar, "So don't argue, Jo."

The cold air stung as they stepped outside the bar and Johanna glanced at Jim, realizing that the only jacket he had on was his suit jacket.

"Where is your coat?" she demanded to know.

"I forgot it at the office," he told her.

She shook her head at him, "You're going to get sick."

He chuckled, "I'm a big boy, I can handle a little cold air," he said; tossing her words back at her.

Johanna smirked at him, "You won't think it's funny when you have pneumonia."

Don't say things like that," he teased. "You sound like my mother...and probably yours too."

"Are you trying to insult me?" she asked playfully.

Jim laughed, "Not at all. If I get sick, you can be my nurse."

She laughed, "Sorry, I went to law school, not nursing school."

"I don't mind," he said as he flagged down a cab for them. "We'll get you a costume and it'll be like you're the real thing."

"Keep dreaming," she said as she got into the cab.

"Every night," he replied with a grin as he climbed in next to her and gave the driver her address.

* * *

Jim didn't know why he followed Johanna into her apartment, he could've said goodnight to her outside the door but he didn't...and he really should have, he thought to himself. Especially in light of the way things had been going at the bar. He should go but he remained rooted in place, unable to make himself go as he watched her fumble with the buttons of her coat.

"Problem?" he asked.

"My fingers are cold," she answered as she tugged at the stubborn top button.

He smiled as he watched for another moment, wondering if the few drinks she had had were more to blame than her cold fingers. She was getting agitated with it and he moved towards her and gently brushed her hands aside.

"Let me," he said quietly, a smile still on his lips as he looked into her face.

Her cheeks warmed with a light hint of embarrassment. Why did it always seem like she was making a fool out of herself in front of him? She dropped her gaze from his face only to wind up watching his fingers take on the task of expertly undoing her buttons...and suddenly she was having thoughts that she really shouldn't be thinking. Her breath caught, she wasn't drunk, but surely it had to be the alcohol that was making the sight of him unbuttoning her coat seem so very intimate.

His fingers grasped the last button and pushed it through its hole, the material parting and giving him a glimpse of the green dress that she was wearing...that low cut green dress that had been giving him a view of creamy white skin that had his fingers itching to touch and his lips eager to taste. He should've left her at the door. His eyes flicked back to her face and their gazes locked upon each other, the air crackling with tension as he kept hold of the material of her coat.

Her cheeks were flushed and her heart was beating wildly and for a brief moment she was afraid that he might hear it. She wasn't sure what had gotten into them, or why every look they'd shared for the last few hours had smoldered, or why their kisses at the bar had been more searing than the ones they had shared in the past...and truth be told, she didn't care about the reason, she just didn't want it to end.

He was still holding on to her coat, his eyes locked upon hers, trying desperately to convince himself to walk away...but he couldn't. She was flustered by the intensity and she licked her lips in regards to it which only served to drive him crazy. His hand tightened on the material of her coat and she swayed towards him in response, her body brushing against him, awareness sizzling between them. There was only so much temptation that he could take and he'd just reached his limit.

The next thing Johanna knew, her back was against the door and his lips were hotly upon hers. The few kisses they had shared before had been tender; the kisses they had shared at the bar had been a mixture of tenderness and something deeper. This kiss, however, was pure, raw passion. One kiss no sooner ended when another, hotter kiss began. The sparks between them had been whipped up into a fire.

They broke apart for a moment, breathless and stared into each others eyes. This was why he shouldn't kiss her too often, he thought to himself, because giving in too much to the urge to kiss her brought about a whole other set of urges. Ones he shouldn't be having. She was his friend...he cared about her...he respected her...but at the moment as he gazed at her, her breathing ragged and her green eyes a shade darker, he burned for her.

He wanted her and his mind was suddenly over taken with the thought of how she might look in his bed, with her dark hair tousled and fanned out against the pillow, her dress on the floor. He wondered what it might be like to feel her skin against his, to kiss and touch and tease her. To learn what she liked. He wondered what it would be like to fall asleep breathing in her scent…to wake up with her wrapped in his arms. His mouth claimed hers once again, a little more tenderness behind it this time but still full of passion and desire.

She eagerly returned his kisses, her hand sliding against his chest, clutching the material of his shirt as desire coiled deep within her. This was what her relationship with Brad had been lacking. There had been no passion between them; he hadn't been able to elicit the feelings that Jim was unleashing within her. She wanted this; this red hot desire that sprung up out of nowhere and scorched with the intensity of lava. She wanted Jim…and if he wanted her tonight, she wasn't sure she'd be able to say no like she should. She would find it difficult to stick to her rule about not having one night stands...but as his hand slipped inside of her coat and slowly moved against her rib cage, she knew that she'd never be able to say no to him, at least not tonight, not when it felt so good to be like this with him.

There was too much between them, Jim thought as his hands started tugging at her coat, eventually slipping it off of her shoulders and tossing it aside. His hands quickly retook their place on her, the soft material of her dress rubbing against his fingertips as his hands roamed over her, although he forced himself not to take too many liberties, unsure of just how much she was going to let him get away with. Her hand was moving against his chest, sliding upwards, her fingers grazing the skin at the base of his throat where his top button was undone, driving him crazy as she allowed her fingers to slip between the collar of his shirt and his skin, tracing their way up to his jaw line.

He skimmed her lips once more before drifting away, dipping his head to kiss her neck and she melted against him at the sensation. So she liked that, did she, he thought as he concentrated on that spot, her fingernails digging into his shoulder in response. He chuckled softly against her skin as he continued to tease that sensitive area and she wiggled her hips against him in retaliation for his smugness. She may as well have lit a match and set him on fire he thought as he pressed against her more firmly, sending the message that if she wanted play, they would play. It wouldn't bother him a bit to scoop her up and carry her off to her bed and wipe all the thoughts from her mind. He'd make her forget all about Brad, he'd make his name the only one she'd remember. It was so very tempting, he thought as his lips finally grazed against the exposed skin of her chest that had been tormenting him all night. He lingered there as her fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck. He was seriously considering making the move but when his mouth moved back to hers and he caught the taste of alcohol on her tongue, he knew he couldn't. She wasn't drunk, he wouldn't be taking advantage of her but still they shouldn't do it. They shouldn't cross this line, not on a night when they had been drinking and she had been rejected by someone else. He wanted her, and he had a feeling that she wanted him too and that she'd accept his advances if he tried to go further, but it would be wrong. It would ruin their friendship and he wasn't ready to throw that away. She meant more than that to him.

He kissed her gently a few more times and then he carefully pulled back from her. Their eyes met and he allowed his forehead to fall against hers for a minute, silently begging her not to think that he was rejecting her. Johanna closed her eyes for a moment and forced herself to get her breathing under control as the spell they had been under was broken. He was right to stop them she thought to herself, because obviously she had been too weak to do so and they weren't ready to go there yet, to take a chance of losing what they already had on something that might not last. She wanted him, but she didn't want to be a one night stand, she didn't want to be a regret that he had come morning. She brushed a hand against his cheek in understanding and accepted the chaste kiss he pressed against her lips.

Her back was still against the door and Jim gently pulled her away from it, allowing himself a small smile as she stumbled slightly, obviously weak kneed from their encounter. He couldn't help but smile at her as he took in the sight of her flushed cheeks and tousled hair, and then his eyes caught sight of the red mark on the side of her neck and he knew that she'd probably kill him for it when she noticed it, but it would be worth it.

"Goodnight, Johanna," he said quietly as he brushed the back of his hand against her cheek.

"Goodnight, Jim," she whispered.

He smiled at her and she returned it with a shy one of her own and then he forced himself to leave her apartment. He stood in the hallway and listened as she clicked the lock into place. He better walk home, he decided. The cold air would do him good.

Johanna ran a hand over her face as she moved into her bedroom and dropped down onto the foot of her bed. What had she been thinking? She hadn't been, she reminded herself, or at least she hadn't been thinking about what she should have been. It unnerved her a bit, realizing just how easily he could make her lose her self control. What did that say about her?

"Would this change things?" she wondered. Would it make things awkward between them when they saw each other again? She sighed, maybe she was worrying for nothing; after all, things had never been awkward after their other kisses. The previous two times they had simply went on as if nothing had happened, but of course things hadn't gotten as carried away those times. Still, she thought, that didn't mean they'd treat this encounter any differently...it would fade into the past, a little secret between themselves that they wouldn't speak of...and maybe that was for the best.

Johanna kicked off her shoes and laid back on her bed. She didn't make any sense at all. She'd like to be with him…but she was afraid that if it was to happen and things didn't work out, that she'd lose him altogether. Another sigh escaped her lips and she turned her head to look at the vacant space next to her. She couldn't help but wonder what it might've been like if he had stayed…if he'd been there next to her, filling up that empty space.

Her eyes closed and she swallowed hard. She could smell the scent of his cologne clinging to her and the memory of the evenings events rolled through her mind. She liked the way his fingers threaded through her hair; she liked the feel of his hands as they had moved over her body. She imagined that they would've felt even better without the material of her dress between them. Her skin still tingled from the feel of his lips against it. Wayward thoughts passed through her mind. What would it have been like if they hadn't stopped? How would it have felt to have him so close...how would he have felt...

"Stop!" she exclaimed aloud as she opened her eyes and sat up. "Just stop it," she said as she ran a hand through her hair. Good God what was wrong with her, one steamy encounter with Jim had left Brad as nothing more than a blip on the radar of her past and it was almost the middle of November and she was thinking about opening a window to cool off. She just had to stop thinking about it or she'd never be able to settle down for the night. Johanna took a breath and pushed herself off the bed. She needed to wash off her make up and change her clothes. She needed to go through her nightly routine and then she'd be fine.

Johanna grabbed her nightgown and headed into the bathroom. As she washed her face, she noticed something on the side of her neck. He didn't!" she exclaimed and then leaning in towards the mirror for a closer look she exclaimed, "He did!"

She couldn't believe it, and she briefly wondered if he had noticed it before he left. Her fingers brushed against the mark and she smirked. It figured. The man who had asked her out had dumped her, and the man who seemingly wouldn't ask her out had given her a hickey. There had to be some kind of irony in that. She laughed then, she'd have to cover that before she went back to work on Monday, but she couldn't bring herself to regret the fact that it had happened. She finished up and moved back to her bedroom, only to pause as she looked at her bed...her empty bed. Those thoughts started to stir in her mind and she turned and headed back to the living room, she better just watch television...sleep obviously wasn't going to happen.

* * *

Jim walked into his apartment and dropped his keys onto the stand. The cold air hadn't done him any good. Johanna was still all over his mind, which only made him wish that he was still all over her. He shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. He'd been tempted more than once to turn around and go back to her apartment and pick up where they had left off but he hadn't dared. If they crossed that line there was no going back.

Over the past few months he had grown accustomed to the desire to kiss her, and he had known that doing so would lead to other desires and he had been very careful to keep his mind from going to that place; but now the desire to make love to her was there at the surface. He had done the right thing in stopping, he told himself, or maybe it was more like he was trying to convince himself that it really had been the right thing to do.

He released a heavy breath; he didn't want to risk losing her. Their friendship had become such a big part of his life...she had became such a big part of his life without him even realizing that it was happening. If it didn't work out, there'd be a hole there in his life where she fit so perfectly and he couldn't stand the thought of that. Maybe that was why he had been so annoyed with her these last few weeks. He had felt like he was losing her and that was the last thing he wanted.

He just wanted to hang on to her, to keep that special thing they had between them; and yet he couldn't shake away those thoughts of wanting her. The taste of her kiss was still upon his lips and the feel of her body pressed against his so intimately was seared upon his memory. He smiled, she'd been a minx with that little wiggle of hers against him in what he had known was retaliation for laughing at how easily she had melted at the feel of his lips against her neck. He should've stayed…he could only imagine how incredible it would've been between them.

"Don't," he told himself, "Don't go there." It was already too late; his mind was filled with those thoughts of how she would've looked in nothing but the sheets, of how her skin might've felt against his…of how perfect she would've fit against him. He had to stop thinking these things or he'd drive himself crazy. ...or worse, he'd convince himself to go back to her. It was a good thing he wouldn't be seeing her again until Monday, he thought to himself. Maybe by then he'd have himself under control; but of course that didn't help him tonight. He picked up the remote from the coffee table and clicked on the television. It was going to be a long night, and most likely, a sleepless one.

* * *

On Monday morning, Jeff was standing outside of the law firm waiting on his best friend.

"What are you standing around for?" Jim asked as he approached the building and spotted him.

"I was waiting for you," Jeff answered. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"What flavor of lip gloss was Sassy wearing Friday night?" Jeff asked; a knowing grin on his face.

Jim was quiet for a moment as he regarded his friend, "What makes you think I know the answer to that?"

Jeff shrugged, "Well I just figured that since you seemed to be giving it an extensive taste test that night at the bar that you would know."

Jim glanced away for a moment and then looked back at his friend, "Nothing happened."

"It looked like _something _was happening…and you left together."

"Nothing happened," Jim re-iterated and then at Jeff's raised brow he added, "Nothing more than you obviously saw."

Unless he counted those moments in her apartment when he had her pushed up against the door and had been thinking about taking her to bed…those thoughts and memories had plagued him all weekend.

"Well maybe that's the problem," Jeff commented, pulling him from his thoughts. "The two of you never let anything happen."

"Johanna and I are fine," Jim stated as he turned to walk away.

Jeff fell into step beside him as they entered the building. "You still never answered the question."

"What?"

"What flavor was it?" Jeff asked with a laugh.

"Strawberry," Jim answered with a smug grin, "And I don't want to hear another word about it."

* * *

"You don't seem very upset that Brad broke up with you," Sharon stated as Johanna pulled files from her briefcase.

"That's because I'm not," she answered.

Her friend looked at her with an assessing gaze, "That's not really like you."

"It was over, Sharon," Johanna stated. "It ran its course, no big deal."

"Oh my god," Sharon said, "You hooked up with someone on the rebound."

"I did not!" Johanna exclaimed. "I just don't care that it's over, that's all."

"Uh huh," Sharon said. "Who was it? Anyone I know…does he work in this building."

A small stack of files slipped from Johanna's fingers and landed on her desk.

"You didn't!" Sharon exclaimed, obviously allowing Johanna's reaction to her statement get her carried away with the thought that she had been right.

"No! I didn't!" Johanna said as she shuffled her papers.

"You can tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," she told her secretary, "Now that's all I'm saying about it.'

"Fine," Sharon said as she moved to the door. "Keep your secrets."

Johanna nodded and smiled, "Thank you, I will."

She had been sitting at her desk for an hour when her door opened and Jim slipped inside. A small sense of déjà vu hit her as it reminded her of that morning a month or so before and how his visits to her office had been less frequent since then.

"Hey," he said as he sat down.

"Hey."

"How are you?" he asked, and she could tell that concern lingered in his tone, but she wasn't sure if it was in regards to her break up or what had happened between them.

"I'm fine," she smiled.

"Good," he answered with a smile of his own, "Because I can't work here if you're unhappy."

She laughed and engaged in their usual banter but she caught his gaze wandering to that spot on her neck where the mark he had left upon her skin was covered with make up and it convinced her that he did indeed know what he had done before he walked out her door that night. Now he had to be punished.

"Come here," Johanna said, crooking a finger at him and beckoning him from his seat.

"What?" he asked as he came to the side of her desk and leaned down towards her.

"This," she answered as she smacked him upside his head.

"Hey," he said, "What was that for!"

"You know what it's for!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice.

"No I don't."

"Yes, you do," she retorted, "You've been looking for it."

He grinned, so she had caught him.

She swatted his arm this time, "It isn't funny."

He laughed anyway, "Well since you brought it up, where is it, because I doubt it healed that quickly."

"I covered it up," she said, "Did you really think I was going to walk into work with a mark on my neck and let everyone speculate about it?"

"You could've," he said.

"Oh you would've liked that, wouldn't you," she replied, "It would've made you proud to see what you had done, and speaking of which, I can't believe you did that!"

"You didn't seem to mind at the time," he told her.

"Shut up," she said as her cheeks grew warm at the memory.

"It's alright," he said as he leaned close to whisper in her ear. "I enjoyed it too."

"I hope you did," she remarked, "Because it won't happen again."

A slow smile slid across his face as if he were accepting the challenge and a matching smile of her own slid into place. They both knew she was lying…it would happen again…maybe not today…maybe not tomorrow, but it would happen.


	5. Chapter 5

_Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews!_

_For Lydia, because I'm so glad that we're friends, and because I like to make her smile :)_

Chapter 5 – You And Tequila

Jim Beckett strode toward the office of Johanna McKenzie with a sense of purpose. Word had gotten around, as it always inevitably did, that Johanna had lost her case that day in court. She didn't take losing any better than he did and he had heard through the office gossip chain that Stanley Carmichael and Steve Lancaster had made it a point to pour salt in her wounds. If there was one thing he had learned in the almost two years that he had known Johanna, it was that she liked to stew over things. She liked to beat herself up and blame herself for everything that went wrong, regardless of if it was something that was beyond her control or not. He figured that someone would have to pick up the pieces; he also figured that he was the one for the job.

Sharon glanced up at him as he entered the room. "Is she still here?" he asked as he gestured towards the closed door of the inner office.

"She's here," Sharon confirmed, "She's brooding."

"Does she have her head down on the desk asking herself the usual questions?" he asked with a slight grin.

It was common knowledge that on bad days, Johanna always put her head down on the desk and wondered why she became a lawyer.

"She's done that already," Sharon replied. "Now she's staring out the window at the rain. You should probably go in there and cheer her up."

"I'll see what I can do," Jim told her as he caught the knowing look on her face.

"You do that," the secretary replied, a somewhat teasing smile on her lips. "I'll be heading out in a few minutes."

Jim didn't know why she felt it necessary to tell him that and he figured the question was best left unasked. Instead, he wished her goodnight and then went to the door of Johanna's office and opened it without bothering to knock, and stepped inside.

He allowed the door to close behind him, but she didn't acknowledge his presence and he wasn't even sure if she had realized that he was there. He remained quiet, unable to keep himself from taking a moment to admire her, despite the fact that she had her back to him. Her dark hair was lying in curls against the back of her thin white sweater and he couldn't resist allowing his gaze to move lower, taking in the sight of her black skirt and those shapely legs clad in sheer hose and as always, her feet were nestled into a pair of 3 inch heels. He forced himself to stop his appraisal of her appearance and studied her body language.

She radiated unhappiness as she leaned with one shoulder against the window frame, her arms crossed, and the reflection of her face in the glass only confirmed what he already knew. She was most definitely stewing and her expression was stormier than the scene outside the window.

He moved towards her, taking up residence at the opposite side of the window where she stood. Her gaze flicked towards him and then back to the light rain that was falling outside. She didn't speak as she wasn't really in the mood for conversation but she knew better than to believe that he would accept her silence for long.

"I guess all of those people who were hoping for snow got disappointed," Jim commented.

"I like rain," she said quietly.

"Really?" he asked. "You don't find it depressing?"

"No," she answered, "It's cleansing."

"Even in January when things are dreary enough?"

She nodded but offered no further comment.

"Snow would be more fun," Jim stated.

A shadow of a smile briefly crossed her lips, "Snow would be nice...I guess you probably want to have a snowball fight with Jeff."

He grinned, "Or I could have one with you."

She gave him a small smile but it didn't light up her eyes the way it usually did and he knew the time for small talk was at its end.

"I heard you had a bad day," he said gently.

She rolled her eyes, "News travels fast."

He brushed a hand against her arm, "It's alright, Jo."

"No it's not," she replied, "I just ruined my streak of wins."

"We've all been there," he told her, "It's disappointing but it happens."

"Well I wasn't ready for it to happen to me," she retorted.

"So your hot streak is over," Jim said as he gently nudged her. "It's okay, you were starting to make the rest of us look bad anyway," he remarked lightly.

"I was okay with that," Johanna quipped.

He chuckled softly as he gazed at her, her features still holding the look of defeat and perhaps a touch of stubbornness in regards to hanging on to her feelings. He hated to see those kissable lips pressed into a tight line and that look of disappointment in those pretty eyes. Looking closer, he thought that he caught sight of sadness lingering there in those green depths and he wondered if maybe there wasn't something else bothering her.

"Don't let them bother you," he said operating on the assumption that it was Stanley Carmichael and Steve Lancaster who had gotten under her skin with their comments and taunting her about her loss.

"Easy for you to say," she replied as she continued to stare out the window.

"Come on, Jo," he replied, "You know they've made their comments about me when I've lost, they've done it to Jeff too, and a few others."

"Forgive me if I feel like I get it a little worse than you members of the boys club," she stated with a touch of annoyance.

That was dangerous territory, Jim thought to himself, he better tread carefully and think before he spoke. "I know it's worse for you, just like I know that Stanley has made it his mission in life to make your life hell whenever possible out of revenge for calling him out when he was botching that case. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't feel singled out, they're ignorant bastards and they have to pick on other people to feel better about themselves."

"That doesn't make me feel better," she replied, "And it's not like that's my big issue here."

He sighed, god she was stubborn. "We all lose cases, Johanna, and besides it's not like this is the first one you've lost."

She turned her head in his direction, "Why does that sound like you're accusing me of losing more cases than I win?"

"It sounds that way to you because you're being defensive," he said honestly, "And that's not what I'm saying at all. You're a good lawyer, you know that as well as I do, but the point is, you have lost before."

"I was working with other people on those cases," she remarked.

"What's that have to do with anything?"

"It means that those losses weren't all my fault!" she exclaimed, "They may not have been my fault at all, but I was on my own with this one which makes it all my fault."

"Why is it your fault?" he asked, "Did you not present the case well enough, did you not care, did you not try your best? What was it, Johanna? What did you do to lose this case?"

The glare she shot him could've frozen the fires of hell. "Of course I cared! I presented the case just like I present all of them, and I always give my best, I wouldn't allow myself to accept anything less than my best!"

He nodded, "That's what I figured, so why beat yourself up over it? You did what you could with what you had and we both know that the case wasn't very strong, even you said that yourself. I'm surprised that the firm even accepted it to begin with."

"That's probably why they gave it to me," she stated, her voice still harboring an edge.

Jim bit back a smile, "A few weeks ago when I lost a case, this pretty girl told me that 'we can only work with what we are given, we can only do our best and if we lose it's because that's how it was meant to be' she told me that losing didn't mean that I was losing my touch...any chance you might recall who that girl was?"

Johanna rolled her eyes knowing full well that she was the person he was speaking of. "That was different," she replied.

"Why?"

"Because it was you!"

He couldn't help himself, he laughed, and he thought he detected the slightest hint of a lift at the corner of her mouth but it quickly vanished.

"So it's okay for me to lose, but not for you?"

She nodded, "Yes, I'd prefer it that way."

He continued to laugh, "Well at least you're honest."

"I hate to lose," she muttered.

"I don't think any of us like it," he told her, "But someone always has to lose."

"I'd still rather it be the other person."

"So would I," he remarked, "But what can we do about it?"

She shrugged, her gaze once again riveted to the window as it was pelted by rain. Jim studied her once more as silence fell between them. Words weren't getting through to her and they didn't appear to be making her feel any better. He cast a glance at the door of her office, making sure it was closed before tugging his forlorn colleague into his arms. He had expected her to resist at first but she surprised him by wrapping her arms around him without hesitation and tucking her head beneath his chin.

He breathed in her scent and held her tightly, maybe this was what she needed, he thought, although he hoped she wouldn't cry. He couldn't take her tears, they sliced right through him.

"You'll get the next one," he said quietly.

"I hope so," she whispered as she allowed herself to indulge in the feeling of being wrapped securely in his embrace. She felt so safe and cared for in his arms. There was comfort there, comfort that she desperately needed today as her mind was full of thoughts and not all of them were about her loss that day. She sighed and snuggled closer without thought but he didn't seem to mind. What she wouldn't give to stay right there; nestled in his embrace, his heartbeat close to her ear as she absorbed his warmth. She closed her eyes, it would be so nice if she could have this all the time, on bad days and good...but thoughts like that only reminded her of things she wanted to forget and yet she couldn't tear herself away.

"Why don't you come out with me and Jeff for a drink tonight," Jim stated, pulling her from her thoughts.

"No," she replied, a sigh escaping with her words. "I think I'll just go home."

"You don't want to do that," Jim told her.

"Why not?"

"Because," he replied, "That won't cheer you up...what do you have to go home to? A bottle of wine and a carton of ice cream?"

"Oh my god," Johanna said as she pulled herself out of his arms, "You just sounded like my mother."

He laughed, "I didn't mean it the way she probably does."

"You may as well," she remarked, "It's the truth after all."

He was beginning to get the whole picture here. Her mother must've gotten under her skin with more marriage remarks and the inevitable mentions of her sister Colleen's upcoming nuptials. He imagined that those thoughts coupled with a loss in court had been the perfect combination to bring her down.

"That's it," he said walking toward the coat rack, "You're going out with us, you're in desperate need of fun and drinks."

She gave him a half smile as she walked towards him and slipped her arms into her coat which he was holding out for her. "I'd rather have a margarita than wine anyway," she stated.

He nodded as he pulled her hair free from the collar of her coat, "You can have all the margarita's you want, my treat."

She laughed as she picked up her purse, "Don't tempt me."

* * *

They met up with Jeff at the bar and they made small talk over the first round of drinks, and when Johanna showed no signs of losing any of the tension that was visible in her posture, they ordered a second round. It was obvious that despite their attempts to cheer her up with light conversation that her mind was still on her case. There was only one thing to do about that, Jim thought, they may as well let her get it out of her system, so he bought her another drink and broached the topic.

"Why don't you just get it out of your system and tell us about it, Johanna," he stated.

"There's not much to tell," she answered. "I lost, you already know that."

"But why is it bugging you so much, Sassy?" Jeff inquired, "Besides the fact that you like to beat yourself up about things and the flack you have to take at the office."

She shrugged, "I don't know, maybe it was when the opposing attorney looked at me snottily and said 'Nice try, maybe you'll do better next time," and then laughed as she walked away, like I was somehow incapable of winning a case.

Jeff nodded, "I can see how that would bug you."

"Just ignore it," Jim stated, "Maybe someone will say that to her when she loses a case, and she will lose one, so she shouldn't be acting like she's something special. She'll get her due."

"Yeah," Jeff agreed, "The more uppity they are, the harder they fall…look at some of the people we work with, especially the big wigs in the better offices," he quipped.

She offered a small smile in response, everything they were saying was true but she seemed to be having one of those weeks where she couldn't shake off that feeling of being blue. She had more than just the loss of case nagging at her but for the moment that was the topic of conversation and both of the men sharing the table with her looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell them her troubles. Another brief smile crossed her lips, it was sweet of them to think they could make her feel better and maybe by the end of the evening she would, but for now her spirits were still low.

"I think it's worse losing to another woman than it is losing to a man," Johanna commented as she sipped her margarita.

"Why is that?" Jim asked.

"Because there's always the cattiness," she remarked, "The prissy smirks and the impression that she thinks she's so much better than you," she stated. "It reminds me of high school and losing the lead role in the school play to the more popular girl."

"Were you in the school play, Jo?" Jeff asked.

"Yes," she answered, "Just not in the lead role."

"Lost to the popular girl?" Jim asked for clarification.

She nodded, "Sure did. Loretta Higgins was perkier, a suck up, blonde and had...better assets than I did," she finished but her colleagues caught the drift of her statement and laughed.

She laughed with them after a moment, and added "I also hated her guts just in case you're wondering."

"That's okay," Jim stated, "And if it's any consolation, everything about you looks good to me."

"Where were you when I was in high school?" she laughed before taking another sip from her glass which was once again steadily emptying.

"Apparently I was in the wrong school district," he answered, "Which is a shame."

"The three of us could've had a good time together in high school," Jeff commented.

"Did the two of you go to high school together?" Johanna asked.

"Just for senior year," Jeff answered, "But we didn't really become friends until college."

"I wasn't sure if I wanted to be associated with someone like him," Jim said lightly as he looked at Johanna.

"Don't listen to him, Sassy," Jeff responded, "He begged to be my friend."

She laughed, "Oh I'm sure he did."

"What about you and Sharon?" Jim asked, "Did the two of you go to school together?"

She shook her head no and explained that she and Sharon had worked together as waitresses when they were teenagers.

She grew quiet again after that, taking another long sip of her drink. Her companions shared a look, knowing that her thoughts had shifted back to the case she had lost.

"Don't think about it, Jo," Jim told her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I can't help it," she replied, "I just keep seeing that look on Monica Trumain's face when they ruled in her favor...it just made me want to scratch her eyes out...or punch her or something."

The men couldn't control their laughter. "Wow, Jo, tell us how you really feel," Jeff said as he laughed.

"Any chance you're Irish?" Jim asked, "You seem to have an Irish flare to your temper."

She nodded, a giggle escaping her lips, "On my father's side...I'm Italian on my mother's side."

"Oh hell," Jeff remarked, "She's a ticking time bomb with that combination."

"It explains a lot though," Jim replied.

She wasn't paying much attention to the comments about her heritage as she was still stewing over the haughtiness of Monica Trumain's, who had looked at her as if she was trash.

"You know what else?" she said, the affects of the alcohol starting to set in. "She was wearing ugly shoes."

Jeff nearly choked on his scotch, and Jim shook with laughter.

"Well she was," Johanna declared.

Jeff looked across the table at Jim, "Don't you just hate when the opposing attorney is wearing ugly shoes?"

Jim nodded, "Yes, absolutely, it's in such poor taste."

"Isn't it though?" Jeff replied, "I just hate it, it ruins the whole feng shui of the court room."

Johanna looked between them as she took another sip, the contents of her glass about gone. "You're making fun of me," she stated.

"No we're not," they both stated simultaneously.

"Yes you are," she replied, "You're just like Stanley and Steve...and the rest of them."

"Hey!" they both exclaimed in dismay.

"Didn't your mother teach you that it isn't nice to insult the person buying your drinks?" Jim asked.

Johanna shook her head, "If she did I must not have been paying attention during that lesson in etiquette, I was probably thinking about something else."

"Like what?" Jeff asked.

She smirked, "I was probably thinking about sneaking out."

"Oh yeah?" Jim replied, "Sneaking out to do what?"

Johanna grinned, "To meet up with Bobby Jenkins and have a beer."

They laughed, "What else were you doing with Bobby Jenkins?" Jeff asked.

"I'm not telling," she answered.

"Fine, be that way," Jeff stated, "Don't tell us about your torrid teenage days."

"I won't," she replied. "I'll keep my secrets for awhile longer."

"I'm sure that there probably aren't any ugly shoes in your past, right?" Jeff teased.

Johanna shot him a glare, "That's right; my shoes have never been ugly…but I will say, Jeff, that you strike me as the type who probably has a pair of ugly shoes in his closet."

"I do not!" he declared.

She laughed and looked to Jim, "I bet he does, doesn't he?"

"I don't know about his shoes but I do know he was wearing a hideous tie the other day," Jim remarked with a laugh.

"The yellow one?" Johanna asked.

Jim nodded as their friend semi glared at them, "That's the one."

Johanna nodded in agreement, "Yeah, that was awful, it looked like a lemon threw up down his neck."

Jim burst into laughter causing her to giggle as Jeff smirked at them.

"I had to wear that tie," he declared, "It was an apology gift from Maggie."

"She should apologize," Jim laughed, "For her bad taste."

Johanna was still giggling, "Well look at her taste in men," she said, "It figures she'd pick something like that tie."

"That's true," Jim agreed.

"Hey," Jeff stated, "You're just jealous."

"Of what?" Jim asked.

"Of the fact that I have a woman buying me stuff."

Johanna looked at Jim, "Do you want me to buy you a drink so you don't have to be jealous of Jeff's ugly tie gift?"

He laughed and patted her hand, "Not tonight," he told her, "The drinks are my treat tonight, remember?"

She grinned, "I remember, all the margarita's I want."

"That's right," he replied, "And Jeff doesn't have to worry about me being jealous of his tie, if I want something ugly I can always ask my mother to pick something out for me."

The drinks were making her giggly and he loved the sound of her laughter and hoped it would continue as she seemed to be relaxing.

"Boy, you and Sassy are just a real comedy team when you two get together," Jeff remarked. "Maybe you two should get your own show, or get married or something."

Jim laughed but the comment seemed to drag Johanna back down and the men shared a look with each other as they waited for her to respond. She said nothing, merely finished off her drink instead.

"Do you want another one?" Jim asked.

"I probably shouldn't," she replied although she would like another one.

"Oh go ahead," Jeff said, "It's not a school night and we won't tell your mama on you if you want to indulge and let your hair down."

She smiled and then nodded, "In that case, I'll have another one."

Jim got them all another drink and they shared some more small talk until he figured it was safe to dig deeper into what else was going on in her mind.

"Do you want to tell us what else is bothering you today?" Jim asked.

"Life," Johanna answered.

Jeff chuckled, "Can you be more specific?"

She nodded, "I can be more pacific...I mean...you know what I mean," she laughed as she couldn't correctly form the word.

Her friends tried not to laugh too much as they didn't want to offend her again, but it was difficult to accomplish.

"We know what you mean," Jim assured, "Now what is it about life that has you down?"

"My sister," she stated. "She's a traitor."

"Because she got engaged?" Jim asked as he held back a laugh.

She nodded once again, "My life was so much easier when I had Colleen to share mom's nagging about getting married."

"Now you have to take all the nagging alone," Jeff commented.

"Sure do," she replied before taking a long sip of her drink, "And now the brat has joined in."

Jim smiled as she referred to her sister as a brat and Jeff glanced away until he was certain that he wouldn't laugh.

"She's joined in, has she?" Jim responded.

"I love her," Johanna said, "But lately I hate her."

Her friends laughed lightly and Jeff caught Jim's eye, "I think it's kicking in," he said with a subtle nod at the glass Johanna was holding on to.

"I'd say so," he agreed before turning his attention back to Johanna. "What has Colleen done?"

She took another drink, her expression serious and her inner most thoughts came tumbling out freely.

"She had the nerve to agree with mom that I need to date more."

"I don't think it's any of her business," Jeff replied.

"That's what I told her," Johanna said, "And then do you know what she did?"

"What?" they both asked.

"She asked me if I wanted her to get me a date for her wedding!" she exclaimed, her features showcasing how affronted she was about the whole thing.

Jim and Jeff responded with the appropriate amount of outrage that she seemed to be expecting and it spurned her on.

"All of a sudden because Paul put a ring on her finger she seems to think she's god's gift of men or something and I've got a newsflash for her, she's not."

Her colleagues were laughing but her annoyance with Colleen kept her from being bothered by it.

"I don't need her to get me a date," she went on, "Look what happened the last time she set me up."

"Yeah," Jim said, his jaw tensing at the memory of Brad, "You don't need her doing you anymore favors like that."

"Exactly," she replied; the word slurring a bit as she spoke. "I saw that jerk the other day."

"I hope you keyed his Porsche," Jim replied as Jeff listened with amusement.

She shook her head, "No, I didn't do that," she said but then she smiled mischievously, but it was parked near a planter and I scooped some dirt up out of it and threw it on the hood."

The men burst into laughter and she giggled gleefully.

"Good for you," Jim told her with a grin.

"I say we need to toast that," Jeff stated as he picked up his glass, his friends following his lead.

"Here's to Sassy," he stated, "For living up to her nickname and not having an ounce of shame for it."

"I'll drink to that," Jim said as they clinked glasses.

"Me too," Johanna replied happily as took a drink of her margarita.

"What did you tell Colleen when she had the audacity to offer to find you a date?" Jeff asked.

"I told her I didn't need her help or pity and that maybe I just wouldn't go to her wedding at all."

"But you're the maid of honor," Jim replied.

"I don't give a damn," Johanna said, "She can find someone else, and if she wants to get too persnickety I'll just call up Paul and tell him a few things about his bride. I shared a room with her, I know things."

Jeff was still laughing over her use of the word 'persnickety' so it fell to Jim to ask, "What things?"

"Her secrets," Johanna replied.

"Yeah but what kind?" he asked.

"I can't tell you," she replied, "They're secret secrets."

"Secret secrets?" Jim laughed.

She nodded and Jeff shook his head, " "She's a cute drunk, isn't she?" he commented.

"Adorable," Jim laughed but there was fondness in his tone.

"You know what I should do?" she asked.

"Slap Colleen around a little bit?" Jim guessed.

"Besides that," she replied causing them to laugh some more. "I should tell her what I think of her engagement ring."

"And what would that be?" Jeff asked.

"I think it looks fake," Johanna declared. "She should probably take it somewhere and find out if it is…I should go call her now and tell her that," she said as she got up from her chair, "Does one of you have a quarter?"

"You don't want to call her now," Jim said hurriedly as he grabbed her arm and gently tugged her back down into her chair.

"Why not?"

He looked to Jeff to provide an answer and luckily his friend came through for him. "It's Friday night, she's probably out with her fiancé."

"That's probably true," she relented.

"Besides, you need to finish telling us what else is bothering you," Jim told her.

"My mother is bothering me," she replied.

"The marriage nagging?" Jeff asked.

"Yes. It was never this bad before, but now because 'Colleen's getting married'," she said mimicking her mother's voice, "It's like a constant onslaught of nagging and I hate it!"

"There's a cure for that," Jim said.

"I know!" she exclaimed, "But I don't know anyone who will marry me."

He laughed, "That wasn't the cure that I was thinking of."

"You have another one?" she asked as she looked at him hopefully.

"Yeah, stop going to visit so often, that ought to cut down on it."

Jeff nodded in agreement, "That's a good idea, Sassy; just stay away for a while."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because she's my mother," she replied as if they were stupid for not knowing that was the reason why.

"I'm not saying to stay away for good," Jim told her, "Just keep a low profile until after the wedding."

Johanna scoffed, "Oh like it'll be any better once the wedding is over. Then it will be 6 months of listening to her say 'Wasn't the ceremony lovely' and 'Wasn't Colleen a beautiful bride?' 'Doesn't it make you want to get married?' I can just already here all of those comments coming out of her mouth."

"This isn't a new problem that you're having with your mother," Jim said, "Why is it suddenly bothering you more now?"

"You want to know why?" she asked, attempting to smack the table with her open hand but missing, her fingers smacking against the edge instead but she didn't seem to register the mistake.

Jim bit back a smile, "Yes I want to know, that's why I asked."

"I'll tell you why," she replied, her words slurring a bit once again.

Jeff had his head lowered, laughing quietly without her notice but he was listening intently.

"I went over there for dinner…which always seems to turn out to be a mistake, and every other sentence out of her mouth was about my love life or lack there of and it always starts off with the same question, 'Have you met any nice young men, dear?'" she stated as she mocking her mother's tone.

"And what do you answer?"

"I say no."

"What are you telling her no for?" Jeff questioned. "You've met me and Jim, we're nice young men."

"Yeah, Johanna," Jim said, "Quit lying to your mother and maybe she'll get off your back."

Her margarita induced giggles returned and Jeff took the opportunity to keep things rolling. "Tell her we're both everything you've been looking for and you just haven't been able to pick which one you want."

"Although we all know that you'd pick me over Jeff," Jim teased.

She laughed, "If I told her that she'd want to meet both of you so she could offer her opinion on which one I should pick."

"If it'll make you feel better, we're willing to play along with the charade," Jeff offered, an easy grin on his lips.

Her laughter rang out again before turning back to her topic. "She says that I work too much and that I need to spend more time looking for nice young men."

"Your mother's stuck on that 'nice young men' phrase, isn't she?" Jim remarked.

Johanna nodded, "I don't know what she wants me to do. I can't tell my clients to put their cases on hold until I fill my family obligations and get married and produce a grandchild for my mother."

"No you can't do that," Jeff agreed.

"Do you know what I said to her when I got fed up?" Johanna asked and before her friends could reply she gave them the answer. "I asked her if she wanted me to go stand on a corner and see what I could pick up."

"You didn't!" Jim exclaimed as he laughed. "How did she take that?"

"Not too good," she answered. "She said if I was trying to be funny it didn't work…I thought it was funny," she remarked as she looked at Jeff, "Didn't you think it was funny?"

He nodded, his shoulders shaking with laughter as he imagined Johanna McKenzie making such a statement to her mother, "I think it's hilarious, Sassy."

"They act like I'm repelling men on purpose, like I don't want to have a relationship and get married, but I do…I don't know why no one seems to want me. Maybe there's something wrong with me…my father says it's my smart mouth, he says men don't want women with smart mouths but I don't think I can get rid of mine now…I've had it too long."

"I'd like to meet your father, Jo," Jim stated seriously, anger at the way the man treated her filling him and making him want to protect and defend her against him.

She shook her head, "You don't want to meet him…sometimes I wish I didn't have to know him."

"Well he's wrong," Jim said, "You don't have a smart mouth, you're just sassy, and personally, I like sassy women."

"Me too," Jeff said keeping his comments brief as he was interested to see this scene play out between his friends.

"And there's nothing wrong with you," Jim went on, "You're smart and beautiful and loving and everything a man could want. The right time just hasn't come yet but it will one day and you'll have everything you dream of."

"You think so?" she asked hopefully.

He covered her hand with his, "Of course, don't you agree, Jeff?"

His friend nodded, "There's no doubt in my mind, Sassy, you'll get there when the time is right and you'll have the husband and the baby and the nice house of your own that all women dream of, you'll see, it'll all work out for you," he told her, and he meant every word of it because he had a strong feeling that the person who would give Johanna her happily ever after was sitting there at the table…paying for her drinks and holding her hand. His best friend was falling for her, or maybe he should revise that thought and say that Jim had already fallen. It was in his eyes every time he looked at her, and Johanna was no better, he thought. There were times when love for Jim was written so plainly upon her features that he honestly believed that his friend must be blind not to see it.

"I miss my mother," Johanna stated after taking a sip of her drink.

"You miss her?" Jeff asked in confusion.

"I miss the way she used to be before Colleen got engaged and her brain got attacked by wedding fever. We've always been very close and I love her…I don't want lose that."

"Then maybe you need to tell her that," Jim gently suggested as he squeezed her hand.

"I can't," she replied. "Every time I try to make her stop being this way she ends up making me feel guilty…I don't know how she does it, it's like some kind of mom magic or something, and she gives me this look that just makes feel like I'm a horrible daughter while she says 'You're my baby, I just want you to be happy, I want you to be swept off your feet by someone who will love you for the rest of your life.' What am I supposed to say that?" she asked, "I know she wants me to be happy, but I feel happy as I am, of course I want more, but I can't make it happen just to suit her."

"Then you should go with the 'visit less' plan," Jim told her.

"Or maybe I should just drink while I'm there," Johanna stated before taking another long sip.

"That's a good idea too," Jeff replied, "That's the method I use on holiday get togethers with my family."

Johanna laughed, "It's the Jeff approved method."

"Jeff approved," Jeff said, "I like the sound of that."

"And just like that," Jim replied as he looked at Johanna, "You've created a monster, we'll be hearing Jeff approved for weeks now."

They shifted the conversation into lighter waters and the emptier her glass got the more she giggled at everything they said whether it was funny or not.

"I want another one," she declared after she drank the last drop in her glass.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Jim said, knowing that it was time to cut her off.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because they don't have anymore," Jeff told her, "You drank them all."

Johanna laughed, "That's okay, I can have something different, how about a Cosmo?"

"They're out of those too," Jim answered, "And it's time for us to go home."

"But we're having so much fun," Johanna replied, "Do we have to go?"

"Yes," Jeff said, taking up the dialogue as Jim grabbed her coat and began to slip it on her. "They're going to be closing soon."

"Okay," she relented, "But we'll do it again soon?"

"Absolutely," they both agreed.

"Come on," Jim said as he rose from his chair and took hold of her arm, beckoning her to rise as well.

Johanna got up from her chair but her legs wouldn't hold her up and she went down, the only thing saving her from hitting the floor was Jim who reacted quickly enough to get an arm around her and pull her back up.

"Did I fall down?" Johanna asked.

Jim chuckled, "Almost."

"Why didn't you tell me there was a step there?" she laughed as he and Jeff tried to steady her enough that she could walk.

"Because there isn't a step there," Jim replied, catching her once again as she swayed on her wobbly legs.

"It feels like there is," she answered.

"I think we cheered her up too much," Jeff stated as he caught hold of her arm.

"I think so too," he agreed, "She's not even going to be able to walk out of here."

"Well at least now we know if we need to get something out of her all we have to do is dump a bottle of tequila down her throat," Jeff remarked.

"Yeah, we can file that away for future reference," Jim replied as he gave up on trying to get Johanna steady and scooped her up in his arms instead, making her laugh as he did so.

They made their way out of the bar and Jeff hailed a cab, "Do you need help getting her home?" he asked Jim.

He shook his head as he put her down and assisted her into the back of the cab, "No, I'll manage. I'll just carry her that will make it easier, you go on home, I'll take care of her."

Jeff grinned, that comment could be taken as Jim staking his claim, but he didn't allow himself to speak that thought out loud…he'd save that for another day. Instead he said goodnight as Jim climbed into the backseat next to their colleague and then watched as the cab drove away before he hailed his own ride home.

* * *

When they arrived at her door, Jim carefully placed Johanna on her feet and then gently pushed her back against the wall so that it would support her.

"Hold still," he told her as he took her purse from her and opened it.

"Why?" she asked.

"So you don't fall down," he replied with a smile as he located her keys at the bottom of her purse.

"I won't fall down," she giggled, "Look," she said as she pushed away from the wall and swayed on her feet, stumbling into him as he opened the door.

"Yeah, you're not falling down at all," Jim laughed as he caught hold of her and steered her into her apartment, flicking the light switch on as he did so. He closed the door and pushed her back against it as he sat her purse and keys on the stand next to it, and then he reached for the buttons of her coat.

The memory of the last time he had unbuttoned her coat rolled through his mind. He'd like nothing more than to repeat that experience...maybe even improve upon it but he couldn't. She was most definitely drunk this time and it would be wrong to take advantage of the situation. Jim shook his wayward thoughts away as he released the last button and tugged at the cuffs of the sleeves as she pulled her arms free. He laid the garment aside and then wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her to the sofa where he sat her down.

"Where are you going?" she asked as he stepped away from her.

"To get you a drink," he replied.

"Oh good," Johanna answered. "I'd really like another margarita."

Jim chuckled, she was going to be very disappointed, he thought as he entered the kitchen. He filled a glass with water and then carried it back to her.

She studied it for a moment and then looked up at him, "This doesn't look like a margarita."

"We're all out of margaritas," he said with a laugh.

She frowned but took a sip anyway and then wrinkled her nose, "It tastes like water!" she exclaimed causing him to laugh all the more.

"That's because it is water, Jo," he told her, "Drink it, it's good for you."

"I like tequila," she stated as she stared at the glass as if it would magically morph into the drink she wanted.

"I know you do," he replied with amusement. "Tequila makes a happy Johanna."

Her case of the giggles returned as she looked up at him, "You're silly," she stated.

He grinned, "And you're drunk."

"I like it," she remarked.

She wouldn't like it so much tomorrow, he said to himself. "You drink all of that," he said gesturing to her glass, "And I'll be right back."

"Okay," she said as she brought the glass back up to her lips once again.

He moved through the living room and walked down the short hallway to her bedroom. He paused at the threshold, wondering briefly if he was crossing some kind of line and invading her privacy but he pushed that thought away. It wasn't like he was going in there to look through the drawers. She needed to be put to bed and he wanted to make sure she was safely settled for the night.

Jim stepped into the room and fumbled with the lamp on the nightstand until he found the switch and clicked it on, illuminating her tastefully decorated bedroom. He was tempted to take a moment to study his surroundings but he didn't allow himself to do so. Instead he moved to the bed and pulled back the covers, making it ready for her to crawl into.

"Jim," he heard her voice call, and before he could answer her, she called out again, her tone carrying a measure of distress.

"Jim!" she cried for a third time just as he stepped into the room.

"What's wrong?" he asked; she was still in the spot he had put her in and she had drank her water but nothing seemed amiss.

"My shoes," she said with distress as she lifted her foot off the floor and wiggled it around.

"What about them?"

"They won't come off," she cried. "They're stuck to my feet!"

Laughter bubbled up within him and he couldn't keep himself from letting it out. This just kept getting better.

"It's not funny," she said as she continued to wiggle her feet and pull at the shoes.

"Oh but it is," he said as he shook with laughter while watching her attempt to take her shoes off.

"It is not!" she retorted, "What am I going to do?" she asked, tears gathering in her eyes. "Help me, Jim."

His laughter faded at the sight of her tear filled eyes and he softened towards her and her predicament as he approached the sofa.

"Don't cry," he told her as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "I'll fix it."

"Can you?"

He nodded, "Of course I can."

He lifted her foot and allowed it to rest on his knee. The black heels she was wearing had a strap around the ankle and the strap was fastened with a small gold buckle that was apparently beyond her notice in the state she was in. His fingers worked at pulling the thin strap free of the buckle and then they fumbled with the task of freeing it from the small pin like object that punched through the holes in the strap. Finally it released and the strap gave way and he slid the shoe off of her foot. He lowered her foot and reached for the other one, repeating the task more quickly this time and when he was finished he looked at her and smiled.

"There you go," he said, "You're unstuck."

She smiled brightly and moved forward, wrapping her arms around him in an embrace. "I knew you could fix it."

Jim returned her hug, holding her tightly for a moment before pulling away. "Come on," he said holding out a hand to her as he stood.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"It's past your bedtime," he replied. "You need to go to bed."

She took his hand and allowed him to pull her up but her legs still felt like jelly and she went down just as she had at the bar, but once again, Jim was able to get his arm around her in time to keep her from falling. He swept her up in his arms without hesitation, just as he had done earlier and walked off in the direction of her room as she laughed.

"You like this, don't you?" he asked lightly.

"It's fun."

Jim chuckled, "You can tell your mother that you've been swept off your feet three times tonight."

Johanna giggled, "That would make her happy."

"I'm sure it would," he agreed as they entered her room.

He laid her down on her bed and then he sat down next to her and took on the task of removing her watch and bracelet.

"You make me happy," Johanna said softly as she watched him place her jewelry on the nightstand.

He smiled at her, warmth spreading through him as he gazed into her eyes. "You make me happy too, Johanna."

She smiled then, "Really?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yes, you do."

Her smile remained in place, "I was sad earlier but I feel a lot better now," she told him.

Jim laughed softly, "I'm glad, but you're going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning, sweetheart."

"I like when you call me that," she stated.

"Do you?" he asked, knowing that once in awhile that term of endearment slipped out before he could stop it.

She nodded and picked his hand up and pressed her palm against it as if she were trying to see how they measured up against each other. He had a feeling that in all probability she wouldn't remember this conversation come morning and he toyed with the idea of asking her some more questions just to see what else she liked.

He debated it as he watched her study the way her fingers looked as they aligned against his and he gave in to the urge to entwine their fingers and another smile tugged at her lips.

"What else do you like, Jo?" he asked quietly.

"Everything," she answered. "I like everything about you."

He couldn't ask for a better answer than that, he thought but curiosity made him want more. Before he could conjure up a new question to ask her, she spoke once more.

"I like this," she said as she moved their joined hands.

"What?" he asked, needing clarification if it was just the fact that they were holding hands or just that they were together.

"I like when we hold hands," she answered.

Apparently, too much tequila made her chatty and she was all for revealing whatever was on her mind. The thought crossed his mind that he might have to get her drunk more often.

"I like it too," he told her, keeping laughter at bay but his eyes shown with mirth. He was about to tell her goodnight, figuring he shouldn't pry to far into her thoughts as he might find out something that he might not be ready to hear or think about, but she tugged at his hand, beckoning him to come closer.

He leaned down towards her, "What?" he asked.

A somewhat seductive smiled graced her lips as she looked him in the eye, "Are you going to kiss me goodnight?"

Jim grinned; maybe it wasn't time to leave just yet after all. "Kiss you?" he asked, "What makes you think that I'm going to do that?"

She shrugged a shoulder, the smile remaining in place, "Sometimes you kiss me goodnight," Johanna answered.

He was well aware of that, their last encounter was still seared into his memory and he fought the desire to grab a hold of her and kiss her at least several times a week. They never talked about those kisses they shared on occasion, and he figured that was probably for the best…but it had been awhile since he had kissed her…and she looked so pretty lying there, her dark hair in contrast to the white pillow case, and her eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed and then there was that little smile of hers on those very kissable lips.

"So I take it that you like when I kiss you goodnight?" he teased lightly, buying himself some time as he debated about whether it was the right thing to do or not.

"What's not to like about it?" she asked.

He laughed this time, "Well I can't argue with that."

"So are you going to kiss me or not?" she prompted, "You know I'm not getting any younger…at least that's what my mother tells me."

"Don't listen to your mother," he replied, brushing a lock of her hair back from her face before lowering his head and brushing his lips against hers in a chaste kiss.

"It's usually better than that," Johanna commented as he pulled back.

Jim laughed, "Are you saying I disappointed you?"

"A little."

"Should I try to do better?" he asked.

"I wish you would," she replied. "My father always tells me that if I'm going to do something, I should do it right."

"Well we wouldn't want to ignore advice like that," Jim stated.

He gently pulled his hand away from hers and laid it against her cheek, his thumb brushing her skin as he lowered his head once more and caught her lips in the kind of kiss they had both been craving. When it was over, he remained in close proximity to her face, staring down into her eyes when they flicked open.

"Was that better?" he asked.

She nodded, "One more?"

A soft laugh escaped him, "Are you greedy when it comes to kisses, Jo?"

She laughed with him, "We always have another one."

That was true. "We can't have just one, can we?" he said lightly, but there was an air of seriousness in the statement. "It's just never enough for us."

"One more," she whispered again, her hand fisting the material of his shirt to keep him close to her.

She didn't have to beg, one more sounded good to him too and without another word he kissed her again, long and slowly with a tenderness that even he hadn't anticipated. He looked into her sleepy green eyes and took in the soft expression on her features as his fingertips traced her face. There was that kick in his heart again, a feeling welling up within him that he didn't want to put a name to because he felt like it could be dangerous to acknowledge.

Johanna always got to him, he thought to himself, she got under his skin in every way that was good, and every way that she shouldn't given the status of their relationship and he didn't know how she did it…because she did it without even trying. When he was near her, all he wanted to do was to make her happy, to keep that smile on her face, protect her from anything that might dampen that joyful spirit of hers or hurt her. She was special…and somewhere in the recesses of his heart and mind there was that whisper that told him that he considered her to be his; that she somehow belonged to him in one way or another. There was that warmth spreading through him again, along with the urge to climb into her bed with her, although this time that feeling had nothing to do with lust. This time the desire stemmed from the longing to hold her, to gather her close to him and allow her to fall asleep in his arms while he watched over her.

When her groggy voice broke the silence between them, he wondered if she had somehow read his mind. "Do you want to stay with me?" she asked.

The word 'Yes' slipped from his lips before he could stop it and a tired smile flicked across her face as she began to shift, making room for him to join her, but he quickly came to his senses and put a hand against her hip, stopping her from moving.

"I can't," he told her and disappointment filled her eyes.

"But you said yes."

"I know I did, and I do want to stay with you," he admitted to her, "But I can't tonight."

"Why?"

Why indeed? He asked himself, but he knew the answer. He couldn't stay because he wasn't drunk and she was. He highly doubted that she'd remember extending the invitation in the morning and he wasn't going to catch her off guard by being there when she woke up, and on the off chance that she did remember the conversation they had been having, he imagined that she would be embarrassed that she had said so much and he didn't want to make that worse for her. If he left, he could come back in the morning and pretend like that conversation never happened if she gave an inkling that she remembered it, allowing her to save face and keeping them from having to have an awkward talk about it.

He wracked his brain for an excuse to give her, one that wouldn't hurt her feelings, and one that wouldn't sound inane. "I can't stay because…I have to make sure Jeff got home without getting himself into trouble," he stated, using their friend as an excuse, even though Jeff hadn't had much more to drink than he had.

She nodded in acceptance of his answer and he felt relieved as a small smile returned to her lips. "He probably picked up some girl on the way home."

"I wouldn't doubt it," he replied as he looked her over, making sure her outfit was suitable for her to sleep in because he wasn't about to cross the line of helping her change her clothes…no matter how appealing it sounded. She'd kill him for sure for that one once she survived her hangover. "You go to sleep now," he told her, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

She grabbed his hand again, "Stay until I fall asleep," she all but pleaded and he melted.

"Alright sweetheart," he replied, throwing out that endearment that she liked. "I won't leave until you're asleep."

A sleepy smile was his reward as her eye lids grew heavier, fluttering rapidly as she tried to fight the wave of sleepiness that was winning against her. "Goodnight," she whispered.

He told her goodnight and held on to her hand as he waited for her to give in and sleep. It wasn't a long wait, a scant few minutes according to the clock on the nightstand. Jim gently released her hand and then rose from his spot at the edge of the bed, and reached for the covers, pulling them up over her and then pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. He left the lights on for her, not wanting her to be stumbling around in the dark if she should happen to get up sometime during the night, and then he left, making sure her door locked behind him before he went.

* * *

Jim couldn't help but smile at the sight of Johanna when she finally opened the door late the next morning. She was clad in pink silk pajamas, her hair tousled, and the expression on her face conveyed the feeling that she wished she was unconscious.

"Did you have to knock so loud?" she asked as she allowed him inside.

He grinned at her, "Sorry," he replied, "But I thought I better stop in and check on you. How do you feel?"

She shot him a pointed look through slightly narrowed eyes. "How do I look?" she asked as she retreated to the couch and curled up in the ball she had been in before he knocked.

"Beautiful, as always," he answered as he perched on the edge of her coffee table.

"Liar," she retorted. "I look like hell and I feel like hell. The next time I need cheering up, do me a favor and just let me stay depressed."

"I can't do that," Jim replied, "I like your smile too much."

Her lips curved upwards against her will and he smiled in response to it.

"There it is," he said, reaching out and skimming his knuckled against the skin at the side of her mouth.

"Did I do anything last night that's going to humiliate me," she asked.

He chuckled lightly, being mindful of her headache. "Don't you remember anything?"

"I remember up to a certain point and then things get sketchy...why? Is there something I'm going to live to regret or hate myself for?"

"No," he assured although his blue eyes held amusement. "You're the giggly kind of drunk, Johanna."

"Great," she replied, sarcasm coloring her tone.

"It's okay," he said, "You have a cute giggle, and despite the giggling and the drunkenness you still managed to act like a lady."

"My mother will be so proud," Johanna quipped as relief rippled through her.

Jim laughed, "It was kind of disappointing that you were so well behaved."

"Sorry to disappoint you," she replied as she reached for the blanket that she had been wrapped up in earlier.

Jim caught hold of it and pulled it up over her. "I don't remember getting home," she stated.

"I brought you home," he told her. "Or maybe I should say, I carried you home...you weren't too steady on your feet."

She groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, so much for not being humiliated.

"It's okay," he said, "Don't worry about it, I didn't mind...in fact I rather enjoyed having to help you get your shoes off," he said with a laugh.

"Please tell me you're joking," Johanna pleaded.

He continued to laugh, "I'm not joking, you were convinced that they were stuck on your feet."

"Oh god," she stated, "I thought you said I didn't embarrass myself."

"Don't worry, I'm the only one that knows and I'm not going to tell anyone."

Johanna eyed him with slight suspicion, "And what is the price of your silence?" she asked.

He grinned, "I haven't worked out the exact terms yet...but I promise it will be enjoyable for both of us."

She smirked, "Is that your way at hinting for a kiss?"

"_A_ kiss?" he replied with a shake of his head, "No...one kiss is never enough," he said recalling their conversation from the night before.

She couldn't deny that but she wasn't about to say so. "Two?"

"I don't know if two is enough either," he said, "We might just have to play it by ear."

"And when am I supposed to pay for this debt that I owe you?"

He grinned, "I'll let you recover before I call in your debt."

"That's kind of you," she replied.

"That's the kind of guy I am," Jim stated.

She smiled, "Well just know that I always pay what I owe."

"I'm looking forward to it," he said as his mind flashed back to the night before when he had kissed her in her bedroom...and that brief moment of temptation that he had had to climb in bed next to her. She obviously remembered nothing about when he had brought her home and he wasn't going to mention the fact that she shared her secrets when she was drunk.

"Are you sure I didn't do anything else to humiliate myself?" she asked with suspicion as she studied him.

"Of course I'm sure," he replied, "Why?"

"I just have this feeling that you're holding back and not telling me something."

Jim shook his head, "Nothing happened, Jo. You were fine at the bar and when I brought you home, I gave you a glass of water and laughed at you while you tried to get your shoes off before I took pity on you and did it myself. I carried you into your room and tucked you in for the night. There was no humiliation."

"Except for the shoes," she replied, although she still wasn't completely convinced and she didn't know why except for the fact that she felt that she knew him well enough to know when he was withholding information.

Jim could tell that she didn't believe him and he didn't want her to worry that something had happened between them that she would regret or torment herself about.

"You asked me to stay with you until you fell asleep, and I did, no big deal," he assured. "You were out in under five minutes."

She released a breath that she didn't know she had been holding and relief filled her, thank god that was all it was…she had been starting to worry that she had done something foolish like throwing herself at him.

"Do you know what you need to cure that hangover of yours?" he asked.

"No, what?"

"A bloody Mary," he answered.

Johanna groaned, "The last thing I want is a drink that has alcohol in it."

"It'll cure you though," he told her.

"That's alright," she replied. "I'll make do with the Tylenol."

"Can I get you anything?" he asked her, compassion for her evident in his voice.

She smiled, "No, but they say misery loves company so if you want to stick around and keep me company for awhile I won't mind."

"I'm glad to hear that," Jim said with a laugh, "Because I need a place to hide from my brother."

"Why are you hiding from your brother?" Johanna asked as she sat up and he moved to join her on the sofa.

"Because he's looking for a date for his wife's cousin…and it's not going to be me."

"Why not?" she said, wincing slightly as she laughed.

"Because I've met her before," Jim replied, "And it's not happening, she's obnoxious."

"Which brother is this, the oldest one?"

He nodded, "Yes, it's Michael."

"And why do you think he's going to ask you for this 'favor'?" she inquired.

"Because he already tried to con Andrew into it."

"Your younger brother?" she clarified and he nodded in response. "And he called and tipped you off?" she guessed.

"Yeah, he called this morning with the warning. He said I should get out of dodge," Jim replied.

Johanna laughed softly, "I guess you probably owe him one for being loyal enough to warn you."

"It's all part of the pact," her friend answered.

"The pact?"

"My brother and I have a problem similar to yours," he said as he looked at her. "My mother has decided that since she isn't getting anywhere with getting Madelyn married off, that she'll concentrate her efforts on her unmarried sons. My brother, William, is stationed in Germany and is out of her range but that leaves me and Andrew for her to try her luck with."

Johanna smiled, "You've joined my club!" she exclaimed as she shifted enough to give him a brief hug which he returned with a laugh.

"You're the only good thing about this club," he told her.

"I'm just glad I'm not the only member any more," she replied. "What are the terms of the pact with Andrew?"

"The terms are that if we hear of any plotting, scheming, or set ups, we tip each other off so we don't have to get stuck in any situation we don't want to be in. We're also avoiding our mother as much as possible, which is another reason why I'm hiding today. I know how my sister-in-law is, she'll get my mother involved with whatever scheme she's running today and my mother isn't deterred by unanswered telephones. She just shows up at your door."

Johanna placed her hand on top of his, "In that case you better just stay here with me…I'm hiding too."

"What are you hiding from?" he asked.

"Colleen," she replied. "The hangover has given me an excuse to unplug my phone which means I'm avoiding her usual weekend call asking my opinion, which she never listens to anyway, about flowers and the colors of table cloths."

"Well then if we're both hiding from the world today, then it's only right that we hide together," Jim stated.

"My thoughts exactly," she said with a smile.

* * *

They passed their afternoon with easy conversations and companionable silences as they watched television while eating the take out that they had plugged the phone back in long enough to order. It was after eight when Jim forced himself off of her sofa, figuring it was safe for him to go home…and knowing that he was getting far too comfortable there with Johanna, especially during those moments when she'd lean against him with her head on his shoulder.

Johanna followed him to the door, biting back the words that threatened to tumble from her lips. She wanted him to stay…she wanted to stay in that little cocoon of warmth and contentment that she had basked in all day at his side but she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't ask him to stay no matter how much she wanted to but there was on thing that she felt needed said.

"Thank you," she told him as they stood by her door, stalling the goodbyes that neither one of them wanted to say.

"For what?"

"For last night…for making me feel better."

Jim grinned, "Even though you ended up with a hangover in the process?"

She laughed softly as she held his gaze, "The hangover didn't turn out to be such a bad thing after all."

His smile was warm and affectionate as he reached for her hand, "You don't have to thank me. I'd do anything to put that smile of yours back on your face," he told her. "Thanks for letting me hide out with you."

"You can hide out with me anytime you want," she replied.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, giving her hand a squeeze before releasing it. "Goodnight, Jo."

"Wait," she said, mischief suddenly gleaming in her eyes as she caught his wrist.

"What?"

She said nothing, a playful smirk on her face as she stepped closer to him, her fingertips falling against his jaw as she closed the distance between them and kissed him. It took him a second to overcome his surprise, but his arms slipped around her and he returned her kiss. When she pulled away, her eyes sparkled with amusement, making him smile in response.

"Consider that a down payment for what I owe," she told him.

Jim laughed, "I'm going to make sure you have a high interest rate on your debt," he told her. "You'll be paying for my silence for a long time."

She shot him a sassy look, "I look forward to doing business with you."

"Oh you'll look forward it to it alright," he quipped. "You'll be begging me to get drunk again so I can take your shoes off for you."

Johanna smirked, "Or maybe you'll be begging me to allow you the privilege of taking them off again."

"I win either way," he remarked with amusement.

She rolled her eyes, "You just always have to come out on top, don't you?" she said and as soon as the words left her mouth she realized how he could take them and the grin on his face told her that he had indeed made that statement into something less than innocent.

"Don't even say it!" she exclaimed as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Say what?" he teased.

"You know what you were going to say, you were going to twist my words around and make it something dirty."

"I was not," he stated, pretending to be innocent of the thought. "Apparently you're the one whose mind went straight to the gutter."

"Well it's no wonder," Johanna quipped, "Look at the company I keep, between you and Jeff how am I supposed to remain uncorrupted?"

"Don't blame us for your mind and where it goes," he said with a laugh as he took note of the blush on her cheeks. "If you want to talk dirty that's fine with me."

Johanna smacked his arm, "Oh I'm sure it is; you'd probably like that."

"I bet you'd like it too," he teased.

"That's it," Johanna proclaimed, "Just for that, I'm going to be late on my next payment."

"Good," Jim replied, "Then I can charge you late fees."

He earned himself another smack which only made him laugh all the more. "You're incorrigible," she told him, but her own laughter slipped out, making the phrase sound like an endearment.

"You wouldn't have me any other way," he stated as he gently caught hold of her shirt and tugged her back against him, claiming her lips in a brief kiss. She looked at him with slight confusion when he released her and he couldn't resist saying the words that she didn't remember uttering the night before.

"We always have one more," he told her.

She smiled but there was no flicker of recognition in her eyes and he knew it was time to go. "Goodnight," he told her once again.

"Goodnight," she said softly as opened the door and stepped outside.

"Lock the door," he stated.

"I will," she promised, touched that he was always so concerned about her welfare.

She did as she promised and locked the door once he was gone and she leaned against it for a moment, playing his words over in her mind.

"_We always have one more."_

That was true, she thought, they always had one more…but one more was never enough…at least not for her…and that thought made her realize how easy it would be to lose her heart to him…if she hadn't already.


	6. Chapter 6

_Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews, as always. The beginning of this chapter is a little different, I wanted to open up Jo's family life a little bit, especially in the case of her mom, so we're starting with a family scene but there are plenty of J/J moments ahead ;) It came out a little longer than I had planned but I hope you'll enjoy it._

_There are a few lines of Italian sprinkled in towards the end of this chapter; I've included there translations in brackets, I am in no way fluent in the language and have used an online translator, so if there is a mistake, I apologize. The only term I didn't bracket is 'mi cara' which means 'dear'._

_For Cindy, who gave me the inspiration for this chapter and for her enthusiastic support of this story which means the world to me. Thank you :)_

Chapter 6 – Mama

Late January

When Naomi McKenzie was a young dreamer, all she had wanted was to become a famous pianist, playing in all of the world's greatest venues and eventually attain a career on the stage. She had also wanted to be a wife and a mother. As she grew up, her dreams and reality shifted somewhat. Instead of becoming a famous pianist, she became a secretary and a part time piano teacher, which was just as rewarding in her mind, as she loved sharing the gift of music. Her dreams of being on the stage faded and she made herself content with being a permanent member of the audience, living vicariously through the actors on Broadway or on the silver screen.

She did, however, attain the dream of being a wife and mother. Frank had his faults, she couldn't and wouldn't deny that, but she loved him and she felt that maybe she knew him better than anyone else, that maybe she saw something in him that he kept hidden from the rest of the world. He was good to her, he loved her, took care of her and together they had made her dream of being a mother come true…three times.

In Naomi's heart and mind there was nothing greater than her children, and she had dreams for them as well from infancy forward and now that they were adults, her dreams were of seeing each of them settled with their soul mate and with families of their own which would give her the bonus of grandchildren. Frank Jr. had met Valerie while in college and they had married two years ago, and they had now provided her with her first grandchild, four month old Gregory. Her youngest daughter, Colleen, was happily engaged to a good man who Naomi had no doubt would love and provide well for her.

Her middle child, however, seemed a little slow at catching on. Naomi looked across the table at her eldest daughter and sighed softly. Mother's weren't supposed to play favorites among their children, and really she didn't think that she was…but her bond with Johanna was different than the bond she shared with her other children. It's depth was different, and she didn't know if it stemmed from the fact that Johanna was her first girl or from the fact that she had always tried to give her extra love and affection to make up for the fact that her father refused to properly bond with her. Johanna was most like her in spirit and looks; she was more giving of affection then her brother, and at times, even her sister.

She loved all three of her children, loved them fiercely but as she studied her daughter she was struck with the thought that maybe she did indeed play favorites…because when it came down to it, Johanna was always the first one on her mind when she thought of her kids, and she wanted nothing more than to see her happy because in a way she felt that Johanna deserved it in a different way than the others.

"Have you met any nice young men, dear?" Naomi asked.

Johanna's eyes closed for a brief second. Just when she thought she was going to get through this meal with her parents without that question. She should've known better. She knew better than anyone that her mother had made it her mission in life to get her married off…the sooner the better.

"I know plenty of young men," Johanna replied.

"And are you seeing any of them?" Naomi inquired, keeping her tone light as if she were merely making conversation. She knew how much her daughter hated to feel ambushed.

"I see them all the time," she answered.

"I meant socially, dear."

Johanna smiled, "Of course I see them socially; we're all out in society together."

Naomi smirked and slightly narrowed her gaze at her daughter, "I think you know that I did not mean it that way."

"Yes, Mother, I'm aware of that," she replied.

"And you're also aware that I despise being called 'mother' too, right?" Naomi asked.

"Yes…that's probably why I did it. It's revenge for asking that question you know that I hate."

"I don't see what the problem is with asking if you've met anyone," her mother remarked.

"The problem is that you ask me that same question every time I talk to you and when the answer isn't the answer you want to hear I get the patented Naomi McKenzie lecture about how I need to get married and produce a grandchild for you."

"Well you do need to do those things," Naomi remarked, "And I do not lecture you, I just want you to be happy. Is that so wrong?"

"No," Johanna sighed, "But who says that I'm not happy?"

Naomi looked at her with indulgence and what she felt might be a hint of sympathy and she hated it. Why must her mother look at her that way?

"Darling, I know that you think you're happy right now with your career and working all the time, but we both know that you want something more."

"I'm not saying that I don't want more out of life, but it will happen when the time is right," Johanna argued.

"You can't just sit around and wait for it to happen," Naomi stated. "Sometimes you have to put forth a little bit of effort to make it happen and I don't think you're making much effort, dear."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "What do you want me to do, Mom? Hang a sign around my neck that says please marry me so my mother will be happy?"

"There's no need to sarcastic."

Johanna sighed and wished that she wasn't the only guest at the table. If only there had been someone else there who could save her from this conversation; but the person sharing the table with her and her mother was her father, and she knew that he wasn't going to save her but seeing as how he was the only lifeline presenting itself, she shot him a pleading look. It was, of course, ignored. She wasn't surprised.

"Mama, please stop," she pleaded; "Things will happen when they happen."

"Like eventually one day you'll grow up and stop referring to your mother as 'Mama'," Frank commented, "For god's sake, Johanna, you're far too old for that."

"I like being called 'Mama'," Naomi retorted, "That's what I always called my mother; and as for you, Johanna, things might happen sooner if you got out more. Why don't you go out with Colleen and Paul once in awhile, I know they've invited you countless times, they know a lot of people."

"First of all," her daughter stated, "I have gone out with Colleen and Paul a few times, and the experience is one I don't want to repeat too often as their engagement as made them nauseating. Secondly, the last time I went out with someone Colleen suggested, he turned out to be a jerk," she said; although she did harbor a warm memory of a steamy encounter with Jim as a result of that break up.

"Well I'm sure they can't all be jerks," her mother replied.

"I'd rather do my own shopping than have Colleen pick out something for me," Johanna remarked.

"Good choice," Frank muttered; catching his daughter by surprise as he lifted to coffee cup to take a sip.

"Now, Frank, you know Paul is a nice man with a good job and he loves Colleen," Naomi exclaimed as she turned her attention to her husband.

"He's as dull as wallpaper paste!" Frank retorted; causing Johanna to dip her head to hide her smile.

"Colleen never has had any damn taste," he went on, "She just takes whatever's in front of her and tells herself she's struck gold, and in reality all she has is an apartment full of ugly furniture, and a man so dull that he thinks the stock exchange numbers are at the height of entertainment."

This was better; Johanna thought to herself, someone else was getting criticized and although she loved her sister, she couldn't help but laugh quietly. Colleen's wedding plans were driving her father crazy…and her too, truth be told.

"Colleen has taste," her mother argued; "It's just different from yours."

"I think I'm going to have to agree with Dad on this one," Johanna chimed in. "You have seen the bridesmaids dresses that she's been looking at, haven't you?"

"There's nothing wrong with those dresses."

"Yeah there is," Johanna replied, "And I'm not wearing any of them."

"Well Johanna, you might lack in sense," Frank said, "But at least you have taste."

It was a backhanded compliment but she had learned to take a win no matter how small. "Thanks, Dad."

"We're not discussing Colleen," Naomi said as she took back control of the conversation, "We're talking about you, Johanna. You're not getting any younger, dear. You do have a birthday coming up soon."

"I'm aware of that," she answered, "But I'm still a few years away from 30 so I really don't think it's a big deal. I have time."

Her mother sighed heavily, and Johanna braced herself for the next round, but then a miracle occurred, or at least what she deemed a miracle, as her father cut off whatever her mother was about to say.

"Enough, Naomi!" he exclaimed. "All I hear day in and day out is Colleen's wedding and how you need to get Johanna married off next. It gives me a headache. If Johanna doesn't get married that's her problem, not yours."

"It most certainly is my problem," she declared. "I'm not going to be here forever, Frank, I don't want her to be alone."

"Where are you going?" Johanna asked; although she knew what her mother was referring to.

"You know what I mean," her mother replied. "One day I'll be gone and I want you settled before I go."

"You're not going anywhere anytime soon," Johanna stated. "I just went to the doctor with you; he said you're very healthy."

"That doesn't mean anything," Naomi replied, "I could still go sooner rather than later."

"Don't talk like that!" both husband and daughter exclaimed.

"Well it's the truth!"

Tears pricked her eyes at the thought of it, "Well you don't need to talk about it," Johanna remarked as she struggled to swallow the lump that had grown in her throat.

"See what you did?" Frank said as he nodded at their daughter, "Now you've set her off and she'll start bawling because you've never cut the damn cord with this one and she's too attached to you."

"I'm her mother, she's supposed to be attached to me," Naomi proclaimed, "And if I haven't cut the cord it's probably because she needs me…and I need her. I have to be sure that she's taken care of; it isn't like I can take comfort in the knowledge that you'll look after her, Frank."

"Don't start that again," Frank said as he jabbed his fork in the air in his wife's direction.

"Can we just stop this!" Johanna yelled. "I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself and I'm not decrepit yet, I'm sure I still have plenty of chances to find a husband, and you're not dying, so just stop it!"

"Don't raise your voice to us!" her father said sternly. "Haven't I told you time and again to leave your attitude at the door?"

"Let's just calm down," Naomi said, as she tried to cool rising tempers. "We'll change the subject. I saw in the paper today that there's going to be a big gala for all of the law firms," she commented, "Are you going, darling?"

"Yes," Johanna answered; her tone still a bit testy and she could see her mother swallowing back the question that she obviously wanted to ask. "Go ahead, Mom, get it out of your system so you don't bust from holding it in."

"Are you going with someone?" Naomi asked cautiously.

"We just found out that all of the firms were being included in this gala," she answered, "So as of this moment, I haven't been asked…but I'm sure I will be," she threw in to ease her mother's mind. She wasn't too sure that she'd be asked by anyone that she'd seriously consider but she had to put up the front of optimism to keep the peace.

"Of course you will be," her mother said, patting her hand. "There is something I wanted to discuss with you."

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"Well you know that your father is going out of town to visit his brother, and I thought that maybe instead of staying here by myself that I could come and stay with you."

Her suspicions didn't ease any; her father went on this ten day visit to his brother every year, and since her mother didn't get along with her brother-in-law's wife, she always happily stayed behind, and she had never been bothered by staying alone.

"Why?"

"I just told you, dear. I don't really want to be here alone and I don't feel like we get to spend much time together lately, with you working so much, and Colleen needing so much of my time with wedding plans and all…I just thought it would be nice to be with you…but if you don't want me to stay with you…"

That statement was loaded with the sentiment of 'how can you say no to your mother' and 'the guilt will hound you the rest of your life'. She couldn't tell her no, and she knew that Naomi knew that.

"Of course you can stay with me," Johanna answered. "I'll be happy to have you there…but there is one thing."

"What?"

"I do not want to have the same conversation everyday about my love life or lack there of, and I do not want to hear the words 'have you met any nice, young men' every day when I come how from work, okay?"

Naomi smiled, her victory secured, "That's fine, dear. I'm sure we'll have plenty of other things to talk about, and I can take care of you for a few days, just like old times."

That sounded nice, Johanna thought as she returned her mother's smile, and yet as she looked across the table and saw her father shaking his head at her while mouthing 'you'll regret it', she couldn't help but think that he might be right…because she knew her mother, and she knew that she'd find a way to poke into her life and ask her usual questions, albeit in a different way so that she could retain her innocence in the matter. Worse yet, she'd probably be saddled with numerous wedding themed visits from Colleen. What had she just gotten herself into?

* * *

A week later, and three days into her mother's stay with her, Johanna stood in her kitchen, clutching a glass of orange juice while rubbing her fingers across her forehead. She didn't mind her mother staying with her or taking over her kitchen; she didn't even mind sleeping on the couch so that her mother could have her bed, She hadn't even minded their shopping trip the night before in search of a gown for the gala and the comment that had passed through Naomi's lips about how maybe they'd shop for a wedding dress one day. She did, however, mind Colleen showing up and calling constantly. Colleen had arrived at 6:30 that morning, her arms loaded with bridal magazines and god only knew what else and she had breezed into Johanna's apartment and set up camp at her kitchen table.

It was too early in the morning for this, Johanna thought to herself as her overly perky sister chattered endlessly about color schemes. It was bad enough that she had to go to work and listen to the constant buzz about the gala…even worse that she had to come home every evening and tell her mother that she still didn't have a date; was it really fair that she be constantly subjected to her sister's overly zealous wedding planning too? She had gotten a brief reprieve while she had dressed for work, but when she was finished, their mother had retreated to the bedroom to dress for the day and she was left being the one that Colleen droned on to.

"Colleen, don't you have to go to work?" Johanna asked. Her sister was an interior decorator and her hours were more flexible than hers; but surely she had some project that needed to be done.

"Not until 10," she answered, "What do you think of this veil?"

"I thought you already picked out a veil when you picked your dress?"

"I did but I think I might like this one better, what do you think?"

"It's nice," Johanna answered as she glanced at the glossy page her sister was pointing at.

Colleen sighed in disgust, "Honestly, Jo, can't you even pretend to be a little more enthusiastic?"

"You're enthusiastic enough for all of us," she replied as she took a sip of her juice.

"Well this is the most important occasion of my life!" Colleen exclaimed, "And it would be nice if my sister could at least act like she's happy for me."

"I am happy for you," Johanna answered; and she truly was, "But you've turned into one of those brides who drive everyone crazy, with the exception of mom of course."

"You know, Sissy," Colleen said; falling back on the nickname she had used for Johanna when she was a kid, "Sometimes I think you're jealous."

She rolled her eyes, her head giving a small throb of annoyance, "Of what?"

"Of the fact that I'm younger and getting married before you."

"That couldn't be further from the truth," Johanna retorted, "And I'll thank you to refrain from sounding like your father."

"I do not!"

"You do, and it's bad enough that you look like him," she told her sister.

"I do not!" Colleen exclaimed once again.

Johanna laughed, "With the exception of hair and eye color, you do, you look just like your daddy," she teased.

Her sister glared at her, "Don't laugh, Sissy, on occasion, you act just like him."

It was Johanna's turn to narrow her eyes at her sibling, "I do not, and I will remind you that this is my home you're in and that I will not be disrespected in it."

Colleen laughed, "See, right there it was, just like Dad. Johanna is daddy's girl."

She glanced at her watch, "Alright, Bug," she said; throwing out the name Frankie had bestowed upon their baby sister, "I have just enough time before work to kill you, do you want me to strangle you or do you want me to hit you with a skillet? Your call."

"Don't call me Bug!" Colleen demanded; unfazed by her sister's threat.

"Bug," Johanna repeated just for the satisfaction of irritating her sister. For some reason, she and her siblings could always bring out the worst of immaturity in each other, but at least she had refrained from reaching out and grabbing hold of Colleen's light brown ponytail and giving it a nice jerk…although she had been tempted for a second.

"Geek," her sister returned.

"Better to be a geek than a bug."

"How do you figure?"

"Bugs get squashed, geeks rule the world," Johanna replied; a triumphant smile on her lips.

Colleen rolled her eyes, "Oh yes, Miss big badass attorney; you just think you're all that and a bag of chips, don't you?"

"You better be careful," Johanna warned, "You might need me to be your lawyer some day, and I just might be too busy to take your case."

"Mom would make you take my case," her sister retorted; "And you know it."

She smirked, "You know, Frankie mentioned the other day that we were long over due for a game of 'Slug the Bug'," she stated; "In a rare moment of kindness, he offered to let me go first this time."

Her sister returned her smirk, "I'm glad I can help the two of you bond; but just know that I hate both of you."

"We hate you too," Johanna replied with a grin but then her sister turned serious.

"I always thought we were close, Jo."

"We are," she answered.

Colleen shook her head, "It doesn't seem like it lately. You avoid me any chance you get, and you act like you don't want any part of planning my wedding."

"That's not true," Johanna said; "I always give you my opinion when asked for it, but you never seem to like anything I have to say so I don't know why you bother asking."

"I'm trying to include you."

"I am included; I'm the maid of honor."

"You ignored the part about avoiding me."

Johanna sighed and leaned over the back of the chair to wrap her arms around her sister, "Okay, I might have avoided you once or twice, but it doesn't mean I don't love you…it's just like I said earlier, you're driving everyone crazy; but I'm sure that after you're married, things will be back to normal between us."

"That's terrible, Jo," her sister replied as she shrugged off her embrace.

Johanna moved to one of the chairs and sat down so she could look her sister in the eye, "Look, I'm sorry, but I have mom on my case about settling down, and then you have to jump in and add your two cents and it's just…irritating, okay. All of a sudden, just because you're getting married, it's like I have the plague or something because I'm not in a relationship."

"Do you want me to fix you up with someone?" Colleen asked.

"No!" she exclaimed as she shoved away from the table, her annoyance rising. "I don't want any more of your losers, Colleen."

"What, I pick the wrong guy for you once and that means you can't trust me?"

"Yes," Johanna said with a nod, "Yes, it does. I'll find my own man, thank you very much, and speaking of which, it's time for me to go because there's going to be a man outside waiting to drive me to work."

Her sister's face lit up, "Jim?" she asked; a teasing lilt in her voice as she abandoned her chair in favor of following her sister.

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, if you must know."

"When do I get to meet him?"

"Not anytime soon if I can help it," she answered as she slipped into her coat and then reached for her briefcase and opened it to see if she had everything she needed.

"I think you like him," her sister taunted.

"Well he is my friend," she replied.

Colleen grinned, "I think you have the hots for him."

Johanna turned her gaze towards her sister, "I take it back; I do hate you."

"So you admit it?" Colleen asked.

"I admit nothing," she replied. "Have fun with mom."

"I'm telling her that you got it bad for this guy you work with."

"I do not!"

"You do," her sister insisted, "It's so obvious when you talk about him, and I'm telling her."

"You always were a tattle tale, Bug," Johanna stated as she picked up her purse and briefcase, "And keep in mind that there are a few things about you that I could share with our dear mother…like that time you snuck out and came back without your underwear."

Colleen considered that for a moment and then dropped her threat, "Have a nice day, Johanna."

"You too," she told her as she opened the door and called out a goodbye for her mother before making her escape.

The cold air of late January smacked against her face as she stepped out of her building, and thankfully she had timed things just right as Jim's car pulled up to the curb. She hurriedly climbed into the passenger side and sighed with relief as she shut the door.

"What's wrong?" Jim asked as he smiled at her. "Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?"

She returned his smile; the warm tone of his voice soothing her, "I'll tell you later," she answered as she hadn't told him yet about her houseguest or the added bonus of being annoyed more than usual by her sister. She just wanted to bask in his company for a few minutes and allow the mornings conversations to become a distant memory.

He patted her knee, "Don't worry, whatever it is, it'll get better."

"I hope so," she answered as he pulled out into traffic; but she doubted it.

* * *

Several hours later; Johanna's morning visit with her sister had been pushed to the back of her mind as she had focused on her work, all the while trying to drown out the chatter about the rapidly approaching gala, and the gossip of who was going with whom, and who was scrambling for a last minute date. She loved parties, but the stress of waiting to be asked and the disappointment of not being asked was enough to ruin it. She was already over the hype, she thought as she headed towards the break room in search of caffeine… and if she was being completely honest with herself, in search of Jim too as she had seen him headed in the same direction 10 minutes before. She found him there, just as she had hoped, and Jeff was there too, which brought a smile to her lips. She had no sooner exchanged pleasantries with her friends when Jackie Lawson swept into the room.

Jackie Lawson was a woman who lacked subtlety; she also wasn't the type to wait around to be asked to a party, unlike Johanna. If she wanted something, she went for it, at times reminding her colleagues of a bird of prey but she didn't seem to mind or care. She had a goal in mind, one she had for a long time. She wanted Jeff Campbell.

Jim shared an amused look with Johanna as they stepped back a few paces, allowing Jackie to go at their friend who had the expression of a deer caught in the headlights on his face. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as Jackie boldly asked Jeff to take her to the gala; her tone shamelessly flirtatious and hopeful that today would be the day she'd finally get her man.

"I'm going with Maggie," Jeff declared, "You can ask her if you don't believe me."

"Wouldn't you rather go with me?" Jackie all but cooed, "You'll have a good time, I promise."

Jeff almost grimaced at the thought of it, "I'm going to have a nice time with Maggie. I'm sure you'll find someone else to go with."

She was disappointed to say the least but she wasn't deterred; if she couldn't have what she wanted, she'd go for the next best thing…and maybe he'd be jealous if she hooked his best friend.

Jackie turned her gaze towards Jim and before she could speak the question he saw forming on her lips, he hurriedly stated, "I'm going with Johanna."

"You are?" both Jackie and Johanna exclaimed at the same time.

Jeff struggled to stifle his laughter as Jim wrapped an arm around Johanna; tugging her against his side and giving her shoulder a squeeze, hoping she'd get the message to play along.

"Now stop that, Jo," he said as he chuckled lightly, "You already said yes; there's no backing out now."

She held his gaze, an amused smirk on her lips, "What can I say, Jim, I just love to torment you," she stated; although she was briefly tempted to out him.

Jackie didn't seem to be buying their act as she looked to Johanna, "I swear I just overheard Sharon telling someone that you didn't have a date for the gala."

"Sharon doesn't know yet," she answered smoothly. "Sometimes I like to see how long it takes her to find out."

"Besides," Jim added, "I just asked her this morning when I drove her to work."

"Oh," Jackie said; a hint of distaste in her voice that she hadn't been able to link her name to his for the occasion.

"I hear Zach's looking for a date," Johanna tossed out; hoping that a new lead would get Jackie out of their hair.

The plan worked, the predatory gleam returned to the other woman's eyes and she set off on her search for Zach Nelson with hardly a word goodbye. When they were certain she was far enough out of range, Jeff gave into his need to laugh as Johanna smacked Jim's shoulder.

"You do know that while she's searching for her next victim, that she's going to tell everyone that we're going to the gala together, don't you?" she asked.

"So?" Jim responded.

"So now you're going to have to take me," she remarked, "Or we're going to look like liars."

He shrugged, "So, I'll take you, no big deal."

She narrowed her eyes at him, shifting on her feet as she planted a hand on her hip, "Aren't you being awfully presumptuous? What if I already have a date?"

"You don't," he answered, "Jackie just said so."

Johanna kept her gaze upon him, "Maybe I do and no one knows."

"Cancel it," Jim replied. "You'll have a better time with me anyway…but I still don't believe that you have one. You couldn't keep that from Sharon for too long."

"Alright, I don't," she retorted, "But does that give you the right to just assume?"

"What's your problem?" he asked, "Don't you want to go with me?"

Personally, he had thought it was a great idea to say he was going with her, and if saying it meant he had to do it well then that was just fine with him. In fact the more he thought about it, the better it seemed. He wouldn't have to go alone, and he wouldn't have to go with someone that might turn out to be…less than appealing…as a lot of women seemed to be lately since he had somehow started measuring them up against the woman standing in front of him. If he took Johanna, then he was guaranteed to have a good time. He already enjoyed her company, and being claimed for the evening might cut down on the number of offers she got to dance. This was the perfect plan, he couldn't help but think.

"I think she wants you to ask her," Jeff commented as he leaned against the counter that housed the coffee maker.

"Didn't I just do that?" Jim replied.

His friend laughed, "No, you did it all wrong. You told her she was going with you…and in my vast personal experience, I've learned that women don't respond favorably to that. So you might want to try it again, because that's obviously what she's waiting for."

"Fine," he said as he turned his attention to his green eyed colleague, who was studying him intently, her emotions hidden behind the mask she usually reserved for the courtroom. "Johanna, will you go to the gala with me?"

She smiled, a glimmer of mischief appearing in her eyes, "Well I don't know," she answered. "It's such a big decision to make and I probably should consider my other possibilities. I'll have to think about it."

Jeff's laughter rang out in the background and Jim smirked at her, "Maybe I just won't go at all," he stated as he moved to walk away.

"Wait," she laughed as she snagged hold of his suit jacket, keeping him in front of her. She had been a little perturbed that he had seemingly used her to evade Jackie's attempts at hooking him; but she'd be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't been hoping that he might ask her to go with him.

"What?" he asked.

Her smile was soft as her fingers remained curled around the material of his jacket. "I'd love to go with you, Jim," she told him; her voice low and conveying sincerity and fondness for him.

His face lit up as he smiled and she couldn't help but think about how much she loved looking into those blue eyes of his. He was so handsome, especially when he smiled, and her fingers itched to reach out and skim his features and her heart did a small flip as she felt his hands settle on her waist. Their gazes remained locked on one another, that magnetic pull between them making itself known and felt. His eyes strayed towards her lips, a need to claim them drenching his thoughts until he forced his gaze back to her eyes, which seemed to have darkened in color as they lingered there, wanting something they knew they couldn't have.

Jeff had a feeling that he had been forgotten as the sparks flew between his friends and electrified the room. He grinned as they subconsciously swayed towards one another, closing the small amount of distance between them. He thought for sure that they were going to seal the deal with a kiss, but then they pulled back, as if they suddenly remembered themselves and where they were. Jim dropped his hands from her waist, and she took a step back. He could just smack their heads together, Jeff thought to himself, and since they had chickened out, he felt he now had the right to tease them.

"Very good, Jim," he said, "Now give her a kiss and tell her you'll pick her up at seven."

Jim shot him a look, "I don't need your help."

"Apparently you do," his friend laughed. "I just had to coach you on how to properly ask her to be your date."

Johanna smiled, "Have you ever punched him?" she asked Jim.

"No, but I have a feeling he'll drive me to it somewhere in the near future."

"Will you call me when the time comes?" she asked. "I'd like to watch."

"I'll make sure you have a front row seat," he promised.

"And I'll get the credit for bringing the two of you together for a second date," Jeff quipped, "And people will take note that I sacrificed my good looks for the cause."

Johanna turned her head in his direction, "Go away," she laughed, "Or I might go down the hallway and tell Maggie that you really want to go to the gala with Jackie."

"That's cold, Sassy," he replied as he picked up his mug, "And while I don't think you're much of a threat, I'll go and allow you two to work out your details," he said with a grin.

When he was gone, Jim drifted towards the coffee maker to pour himself a cup of coffee. Johanna followed behind him, leaning against the wall opposite the coffee maker.

"I have to warn you about something," she stated as he finished preparing his coffee.

"What?" he asked as a grin slide across his face. "Are you going to try and take advantage of me at the end of the evening?"

"You wish," she laughed.

"I don't mind if you do," he replied with amusement.

Johanna smirked, "I'm sure you wouldn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he teased as he moved closer to her.

"You're smart, figure it out," she quipped.

Jim smiled as his eyes raked over her as she leaned against the wall and the urge to kiss her welled up within him once again. He could probably get away with it now that they were alone and out of view of the door, but he pushed the urge aside as he often did.

"My mother is staying with me while my father is out of town," Johanna said; taking his silence to mean that she had his attention.

"And?"

"And she'll still be with me this weekend…and you're a nice, young man," she told him.

Jim laughed as it dawned on him what she was trying to tell him. "I take it that your mother is going to bait her hook for some son-in-law fishing."

"I'll talk to her," she promised, "I'll try to keep her from…interrogating you, but I can't promise anything."

"That's okay," he said; reaching out and allowing his knuckles to graze her cheek. "I can handle it."

"I'll try to beat her to the door, but she'll still want to meet you," she replied as she tried to work out a solution despite his answer. "Or I could just meet you downstairs."

Jim shook his head, "And have your mother think that I don't respect you enough to come to the door?"

"You may regret that way of thinking," Johanna said; "You don't know what she's like when she has a potential son-in-law lighting up her radar. She'll be all over you."

"I'm not worried," he replied. "If I can handle my mother than surely I can handle yours for a few minutes."

"Don't be too sure."

He looked at her, "Are you anything like your mother, Jo?"

She thought about it for a moment, "The general consensus seems to be that I am, although sometimes I have my doubts."

"Then I'll be able to handle her," he grinned.

She smirked at him; her tone becoming quiet in a somewhat seductive lilt as she brushed away a speck of lint from his suit jacket. "Is that what you think you do, Jim? You think you handle me?"

Those sparks reignited and the room filled with intensity as he shifted closer; leaving her no choice but to remain with her back against the wall. He'd love nothing more than to handle her…but he'd settle for a kiss. The merest pressure of her lips against his would relieve enough tension to bring it back down to a more tolerable level but once again he held back; crowding her personal space instead, a satisfied smile on his face as he noted the slight change in her breathing.

"I think I do a pretty good job at it," he replied; his voice teasing in her ear.

"Maybe I just let you think that," she whispered; feeling the weight of his hand settle against her waist once again. Her heart was fluttering wildly from his nearness and she wanted him to kiss her so badly that she could almost taste it.

"If that's what you want to believe," he chuckled quietly; his mouth grazing against her temple, her eyes flicking shut as he moved to her cheek.

He just had to kiss her; it was almost unbearable not to but he shouldn't. Not here where it would be so easy for them to be caught, which would only amp up the speculation about the true nature of their relationship…and yet knowing that it was a risk to kiss her there, made him want to do it all the more. He felt her hand curling around the material of his jacket once again and he knew that she wanted it too. He quickly glanced around the room, ensuring that they were still alone, and his ears strained for the sound of anyone approaching from the hallway but he heard nothing. He gave in; capturing her lips in a kiss that he struggled to keep under control as the atmosphere smoldered around them. They'd have to settle for only one kiss this time, it was too risky to indulge in more, he thought as he broke it off and pulled back enough to brush his lips against her cheek.

"I'll pick you up at seven on Saturday," he said as he stepped back from her.

She nodded as she shook away the haze that his kiss had left her in, "I'll be ready."

"One more thing," Jim said as he retrieved his cup of coffee.

"What?"

"Don't mention that to Jeff, I don't want him thinking that I took his advice."

She laughed, the intensity dialed back, normalcy resumed; "Your secret is safe with me."

"I'll see you later," he said with a smile as he walked away, leaving her against the wall of the break room.

Johanna took a breath once he was gone; but she didn't even have a grasp on her swirling thoughts before Sharon appeared in line of vision.

"What's going on in here?" Sharon asked.

"Nothing," she answered. "I'm alone."

"I saw Jim leaving," her friend stated with an amused grin.

"There's still nothing going on," Johanna remarked.

"You might want to peel yourself away from the wall and wipe that 'I've just been kissed senseless' look off your face if you expect me to believe that."

The comment brought Johanna back to her senses and she pushed away from the wall and shot her friend a look. "Nothing happened," she said once more as she filled her coffee cup.

"Sure it didn't," Sharon replied, "But maybe you should go throw some cold water in your face anyway…cool off from the nothing that happened so you'll be able to concentrate. You have a meeting in twenty minutes."

"Thank god," Johanna said as she took her cup and drifted towards the door; that would spare her from having this conversation.

"I also hear that you have a date with a certain someone for the gala," Sharon called after her.

"Thank god for that too," she said as she left her secretary behind. It looked like the day that had started off badly was suddenly making a turn around.

* * *

After Johanna had applied her makeup and slipped into her dress which Naomi zipped for her; she turned towards her mother and looked her in the eye.

"Mom," she said; her tone laced with seriousness, "I want you to promise me that you will behave when Jim gets here."

Naomi smiled, "What is it that you're afraid I'm going to do?"

She gave her a knowing look, "You know what I'm talking about, and I don't want it to happen tonight. Jim is my friend, and I don't want you going after him like he's the last available man on the face of the earth in your quest to marry me off."

"You have my word," her mother replied; "I wouldn't dream of embarrassing you. Would you like me to help you with your hair?"

Johanna studied her for a moment, that seemed almost too easy, but her mother looked sincere…mostly, and she didn't really have time to waste with trying to break her as if she were a witness on the stand. "Alright," she answered, "That would be nice."

Her mother smiled and nodded and guided her to the bench seat of her vanity where she sat down and allowed her to take over the task of styling her hair.

"Tell me about your friend," Naomi said as moved into place behind her daughter and dragged a brush through her hair.

Johanna turned slightly, peering up at her mother with a hint of suspicion in her eyes.

"What?" Naomi asked, "I'm not allowed to ask about your friends?"

"We are _just _friends," Johanna reiterated.

She patted her shoulder, "I know, dear," she replied smoothly. "If you were dating him, you'd tell me so I'd leave you alone."

Johanna thought about that for a moment and she couldn't argue with her mother's logic. Maybe she was just being overly suspicious; maybe her mother was just trying to show that she was interested in other aspects of her life for a change. She turned back towards the mirror and Naomi smiled at her successful cover of her true intentions for the conversation.

"I'm sure I've talked about Jim before," her daughter stated.

Naomi nodded as she reached for the curling iron, "Yes, you've mentioned him in conversation," she answered while internally adding that his name had been coming up frequently lately. "But you haven't really told me much about him other than the fact that you work with him."

"What do you want to know?"

"What's he like?" she asked.

Jim was so many things, Johanna thought, and she didn't want to give an answer that her mother might twist into something other than it was. "He's very kind," she began as she tried to carefully select her words but the task was more difficult than she had thought it would be.

"Kind in what ways?"

"He's kind in the way that you can always rely on him; he's always willingly to help with a problem. He's always there for me," she replied; that last part slipping out before she could stop it.

"That is the mark of a good friend," her mother commented as she too chose her words wisely. "What else?"

"He's very intelligent," Johanna answered. "He's great at what he does. He cares about people and he always does his best for them. He's not in it for the money or for power or bragging rights. He's there because he cares and because he thinks he can make a difference."

"Then the two of you must have a lot of common," Naomi said as she curled her daughter's hair.

"Yeah, we do," Johanna replied; her tone soft as she relaxed and began to think of other ways to describe him. "He always knows how to make me smile…even when I don't to. He can always make me laugh, even on the worst day."

"Those are fine traits to have," her mother commented as she bit back a smile as she studied her daughter's reflection in the mirror.

"We have fun together," she went on. "He's just the kind of person you always want to be around. He makes you feel safe, he's warm and caring."

"Tell me more," Naomi said gently; being careful to keep her tone at a level that implied mere curiosity and interest.

Johanna had been lulled into a sense of security as her mother hadn't tried to twist her words or turn the conversation towards romance and in light of that she began to share some of her stories with her as she arranged her hair.

"It sounds like he looks after you," Naomi said when it seemed as though Johanna had run out of stories and glowing words that she was willing to share.

"I suppose he does in some ways," she answered as she handed her a barrette to pull back the sides of her hair with.

Naomi smiled slightly, she had wheedled just enough information out of her to gain a clear picture of what was going on in this 'just friends' relationship. Her daughter, whether she realized it or not, was falling in love with Jim Beckett.

A knock sounded at the door just as she slid the second barrette into place and Johanna's anxiety returned as her eyes darted around the room. "Where's my purse?" she asked. "I could've sworn I got it out."

Naomi shook her head, "No, dear, I don't think you did," she answered; although she knew full well that she had…and that while Johanna was in the shower she had put it back in the closet just to ensure that her daughter would be momentarily detained, leaving her with no choice but to allow her to answer the door.

"You look for it and do what you need to do and I'll get the door," her mother said smoothly.

Johanna grabbed her wrist as she was about to jet out of the bedroom, "You look, I'll go."

"Don't be silly," Naomi replied, "I'll get the door and then you can make an entrance as a lady should."

"You promised," she reminded her as a second knock sounded.

"Don't worry," her mother answered as she shook off her grip. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"That's what worries me," Johanna muttered as her mother hurried away.

Naomi turned the lock and opened the door, smiling warmly at the man standing before her on the other side. "You must be Jim," she stated.

He smiled, "Yes, I am, and you must be Mrs. McKenzie."

"I am, but please call me Naomi, all of Johanna's friends do," she said as she ushered him inside. "Speaking of Johanna, she's just finishing up; she'll be out in just a minute."

"No hurry," he stated as he studied Johanna's mother. They were the same height and build and their features were very similar with the exception of the eyes. Naomi's eyes were blue, making him recall the fact that Johanna had mentioned inheriting her green eyes from her father's sister. He wondered who she got her hair color from, as her mother's hair was light brown.

"I'm afraid my daughter doesn't keep me in the loop very much," Naomi commented lightly; "How long have the two of you known each other?" she asked, although she figured she knew the ballpark estimate.

Jim smiled; that felt like the opening pitch, he thought to himself, the game was about to begin. "It'll be two years at the end of May," he answered.

Her eyes lit up, "You recall the date," she said; "That's not a trait many men have."

He laughed, "Well I don't recall the exact date; just that it was late in May."

"But the point remains that you remember the occasion and the round about time it occurred…it must've been a special moment," Naomi said slyly.

Oh yes, Jim thought, the woman was definitely fishing and sizing him up just as he had been warned, and the twinkle in her blue eyes screamed matchmaking mama; but he didn't allow that to throw him off balance. He had decided on the way over to throw the woman a few bones in hopes of getting her off Johanna's back with the idea that she did have a man in her life.

"Johanna is a special person," he replied; "I'm glad to have met her."

"She is very special, isn't she?" her mother replied; maternal pride coloring her tone, "But of course I'm biased."

"You can't be blamed for that," he assured.

"I take it that the two of you are good friends?" she inquired.

He nodded, "I like to think so; I hope she does as well."

"Oh I'm sure she does," Naomi replied. "Do you go out together often?"

"I guess you could say that," Jim answered, "We usually end up in the same group of people."

Naomi frowned slightly and he couldn't help but be amused by it, nor could he help tossing out a small piece of info for her. "Sometimes it's just the two of us," he told her. It wasn't a lie; he and Johanna often ate together, or spent time together without others around.

"Oh?" her mother said, perking up once again. "That's nice; I imagine the two of you have a good time together."

"I enjoy her company."

The older woman beamed, "My Johanna is a wonderful conversationalist."

"Yes she is," he agreed; and then without meaning to, he began to list her other qualities. "She's very smart and witty and she always has a knack for knowing what to say and when. She's a joyful person, warmhearted and caring."

"You must think very highly of her," Naomi said.

"I'm very fond of her," Jim stated; feeling it was safe to admit that, after all it was acceptable to be fond of a friend.

The comment was music to Naomi's ears, "I'm glad to know that she has a friend like you who cares so much about her," she stated. "I do worry about her, you know, but my mind can be eased knowing she has someone like you around."

Jim smiled, "You don't need to worry; I'll look after her for you."

"I'd appreciate that."

He didn't have time to form a comment as they heard Johanna's footsteps in the hallway, causing Naomi to drop her line of conversation and take on the look of a woman who had been merely indulging in small talk to pass the time.

"I'm sorry I'm running behind," Johanna said as she stepped into the room.

Jim's breath caught as his eyes took in the sight before him. She was stunning in her midnight blue evening gown; its velvet bodice studded with small glittering silver beads that were arranged in an intricate design. The floor length skirt appeared to be silk, and matching heels peeked out from beneath the hem. Her hair laid in curls, the sides pulled back with barrettes that were obviously designed to appear like they were studded with diamonds. Diamond earrings dangled from her ears, an elegant sapphire and diamond necklace glittered around her neck.

She moved towards him, a small smile hovering on her lips as he had yet to utter a word.

"You look…incredible," he breathed as his gaze moved over her once more.

Her smile widened, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she dipped her head in a moment of shyness. "Thank you," she murmured and then she met his eye, "You don't clean up too badly yourself," she added as she admired the way he looked in his tuxedo. She hadn't thought it was possible for him to look more handsome than he normally did, but somehow he did.

Jim laughed, "But not nearly as well as you do. You look beautiful, Jo."

"And you look very handsome," she replied; unable to keep herself from reaching out and smoothing away a small wrinkle in the lapel of his jacket.

He grinned, "For the first time in my life, everyone is going to envy me."

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Because I'm going to have the prettiest girl in the room," he answered. "I better keep you close or someone might try to steal you away."

Johanna laughed softly, "I doubt that but it's sweet of you to say so."

"You will be to me," he replied.

When he said things like that it was all she could do not to kiss him, and kissing him in front of her mother, who she had momentarily forgotten about, wouldn't be a good thing at all.

"We better get going," Johanna stated, the thought of her mother standing in the background intently studying them, causing her to pull back a bit.

Jim nodded in agreement and when she reached for the coat that she had lying over the arm of the sofa, he took it from her hands and held it out for her to slip into.

"Where's your coat?" she asked; realizing that he didn't have one on.

He smiled; it drove her crazy when he didn't wear a coat. "I didn't wear one; it doesn't feel that bad out."

"It's January!" she exclaimed as she sighed in disgust. "You're going to get sick and wind up in the hospital and then who's going to entertain me at work?"

"The hospital has visiting hours," he replied as his hand fell to the small of her back as they moved towards the door. "You can come and see me; or I'll just come stay with you and let you nurse me back to health."

She smirked at him, "You might not like my bedside manner."

"I've yet to see anything about you that I don't like, Johanna," he returned with a teasing grin as he opened the door for them.

"Have fun," her mother called out before Johanna could form a response.

"I will," she answered, turning her head in her mother's direction. "Goodnight."

Her mother told them goodnight, and Johanna did her best to ignore the sparkle in the older woman's eyes as she closed the door.

Naomi smiled as the door shut behind her daughter and her 'friend'. Her stay with Johanna was becoming more successful than she had planned. When she had thought up this idea, she had done so thinking that maybe if she put herself in her daughter's day to day life, she might learn more about what was going on with her eldest girl. Sometimes she felt that Johanna wasn't very forthcoming with the details of her life, and other times she thought that maybe she was missing something subtle in her words and expressions.

She had, however, picked up on the more frequent mentions of the name 'Jim' and when she and Colleen discussed the fact that Johanna was distancing herself from them lately, Colleen had made a few comments about how she thought that her sister had feelings for a man she worked with…a man named Jim. That was when she made her final decision to plant herself in her daughter's apartment during Frank's absence. She had thought that maybe through conversation and subtle questions that she could learn a bit more about what Johanna was holding back and keeping to herself, all the while trying to erase the distance that she had suddenly seemed to be placing between them.

Naomi now felt that she had some of the answers she had been seeking. Her daughter was distancing herself because she didn't feel like she was measuring up in regards to her sister now that Colleen was getting married. She'd deny it of course; she was like her father in that respect. If Frank didn't want to feel something, he just pretended that it wasn't there; Johanna seemed to have inherited that habit. They just pushed things away and locked them up somewhere deep inside and went on about their business. She'd have to try harder to show her that she was still on the equal footing that she had always been with her siblings, and that she only wanted to see her happy which was why she annoyed her about finding a man. That thought brought up the next answer that she had been looking for.

Johanna wasn't interested in going out and making an effort to find a man because she had already found one at work. Sure they were still dancing around one another and classifying their relationship as friends only, but she wasn't blind, nor was she stupid. Colleen's opinion seemed to be on par; because after seeing Johanna with Jim, and after hearing her daughter sing his praises, she felt certain in thinking and saying that feelings were most definitely involved on both parts…and not just feelings of friendship… but feelings of a romantic nature.

He'd do nicely she thought, as she reviewed her assessment of Jim Beckett. He appeared to be everything that her daughter had said; he was kind, warm, caring. He'd be able to provide well for her, and the fact that they were both in the same field would lend itself to compatibility…not that she felt they had any problems there. Their personalities seemed to mesh well together, and there was no denying the fact that they were attracted to each other. She could see those sparks between them; could see that her daughter's unspoken feelings weren't going unreturned. She saw the way Jim looked at Johanna, she could tell that there was more than friendship in his gaze. Something deeper was building between them and they didn't even realize it…or they were pretending not to, Naomi thought, which she wouldn't put past Johanna at all.

They looked nice together; as if they were made for one another. He was a good looking young man, and of course her baby girl was a beauty...which would guarantee that any grandchild they gave her would be beautiful. Yes, he'd do nicely alright; it looked like a good strong match. She liked him, he'd be a good son-in-law and she had no doubt that he was the type of man who would love and cherish her daughter the way she deserved…in fact, she had feeling that he may already be on that path of loving and cherishing her. Now she just had to make Johanna see that, she had to reason with her stubborn girl and make her realize that she needed to listen more to her heart, instead of listening so much to that head of hers. She just had to point out to her that love was blossoming right in front of her face and all she had to do was nurture it and take hold of it. She had a feeling that would all be easier said than done.

* * *

They had been at the gala for a good while before Johanna finally got up the nerve to broach of the subject about what her mother had to said to him before she had entered the room. He must've sensed that she had something to say as they danced because he looked her in the eye and asked, "What's on your mind, Jo?"

"What did my mother say to you?" she asked.

He gave a quiet laugh, "Don't worry, she didn't say much."

That did little to reassure her and she held his gaze, silently begging for him to put her out of her misery.

"She was doing a little fishing," he admitted, "But nothing that couldn't be handled and nothing overly intrusive. She says you don't keep her in the loop very much and she used that as her excuse to find out how long I've known you and if we're good friends."

"God she's slick," Johanna commented with a shake of her head, "When you knocked at the door, she had just gotten done with questioning me about you."

He laughed, "It's alright," he told her, "I gave her the answers she was looking for and you appeared before she could dig deeper."

Something clicked in her mind and she looked up at Jim in astonishment, "She hid my purse so she'd have to answer the door," she stated, "I know she did; that was why it had suddenly disappeared. I swear she just doesn't give up."

"She's tenacious," Jim remarked, "Kind of like someone else I know."

"Telling me I'm like my mother isn't going to score you any points this evening," Johanna said with a smirk; her eyes glittering with amusement.

"Well in that case I'll change my tune and say, are you sure the two of you are related? You're nothing like her."

"That's better," she laughed.

"Except in looks," he added, "You do look like her…with the exception of hair color."

"Are you digging for information now?" Johanna asked; "Did my mother rub off on you that quickly?"

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," he laughed, "And I'm sure digging for information can be chalked up to an occupational hazard. I doubt that your mother's investigative instinct is catching."

"God I hope not," his date replied, "That's the last thing I need."

"It'll be okay," he told her, "She'll find something else to give her attention to eventually. Once your sister is married she'll probably spend her time hassling her for a grandchild."

"And then when Colleen obeys her and produces one, it'll all be back on me," Johanna answered. "I may have to leave town."

"Pick me up on your way out," he replied. "I'm not staying here without you."

She laughed; no one could make her feel better like Jim could. She didn't know how he did it, but somehow he managed and it endeared him to her all the more. It was nice to be the center of his attention for the evening too, she thought to herself as they grew quiet. The only time they had spent apart so far had been when she danced with Jeff. She liked this, probably a little too much, her mind added but she shrugged it away. She should be allowed one night of fantasy she figured, and for tonight she just wanted to indulge in feeling like she was his.

"I have my father's hair color," she said quietly as she caught his eye.

"What about the aunt with the green eyes?" he asked; knowing that she probably wasn't comfortable with the thought that she shared a trait with her father even if it was something minuscule like hair color.

She smiled, "Her hair is the same color as mine. Which one of your parents do you look like?"

"My father," he answered.

"What's his name?"

"Robert," he told her, "My mother's name is Elizabeth."

She gave a short quiet laugh and he looked at her with puzzlement in his eyes, "What?" he asked.

"My middle name is Elizabeth," she answered.

Jim grinned, "We better keep this information from your mother; she might think that it's fate that you share a name with my mother."

"There's no doubt in my mind that she'd make that leap," Johanna answered, "But I've always kind of hated the name Elizabeth."

"Why?"

"Because it's so common," she replied, "Just about every woman out there has it as a middle name or a first name."

"Is it your mother's middle name?" he asked, "My middle name is Robert, after my father."

"No, her middle name is Alexandra, and that got passed on to Colleen…which is just another reason why I should hate her. She got a better name than me."

He laughed, "So you aren't too fond of the name Johanna either?"

"No, never have been."

He gave her a grin, "You have it rough, Jo, a name you don't like, a meddling mother, a traitor for a sister."

"Don't forget a nasty brother and cold hearted father," she threw in, "I should just find someone to run away with."

"Let me know when you want to go, I volunteer to go with you," he told her.

"I'll keep that in mind," she answered.

He held her gaze, "Forget about all of them for the night," he said, "All that matters is that we're here and we're having a good time. This is your break from the madness of your family life."

A smile graced her lips, "It's just the break I've been needing," she told him while silently adding that he made it all the sweeter.

* * *

A while later, Jim's gaze scanned the room in search of his date as he stood with Jeff and Maggie; along with Sharon and her date, their colleague, Philip Harper.

"She'll be back," Maggie teased as she realized that Jim wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"I know that," he replied as he forced his attention back to his friends. Johanna's attention had been caught by a woman she had gone to college with, and when the woman beckoned her in her direction, he had sent her off on her own to give her privacy as she chatted with her friend and he had retreated to their usual circle of allies.

"Aren't you glad that I coached you into asking her out," Jeff quipped as he wrapped an arm around Maggie's waist.

Jim shot him a look, "It's not like that and you all know it."

"Of course it's not," they all replied in unison.

"I need to find a better class of friends," he commented.

"With the exception of Sassy, right?" Jeff asked.

"Right," Jim replied, "I'll keep her."

Sharon grinned mischievously, "I'm sure Jo would enjoy being kept by you, Jim."

"I know that publically, I claim you all as my friends," Jim said, "But the truth is I really hate all of you."

"That sounds like something Johanna would say," Maggie said with amusement. "She must be rubbing off on you."

He smirked at her, "Well that's better than what might rub off on you if you're not careful," he replied as he gestured to Jeff.

Jim missed Jeff's remark as his eyes landed on Johanna who was headed in their direction, only to be stopped by Charles Patterson who had seemed to appear out of nowhere. He watched intently, wishing he could hear what was being said. He saw Johanna shake her head, could make out that her lips had formed the word 'no' and she had started to turn away from him when he grabbed hold of her arm. Jim saw red and was moving across the room with purpose written in his stride.

"Uh Oh," Sharon said as she realized why Jim was storming off.

Jeff followed her gaze, "Oh hell," he said, "We're going to have bloodshed."

"It's just a dance," Chares was saying as he gripped Johanna's arm.

"I said no," she remarked firmly as she tried to pull her arm away from him. She didn't want to cause a scene, but if he didn't let go soon, she wouldn't have a choice. She'd just have to kick him or hit him and deal with the notoriety that would follow.

"Come on, Johanna," he said, that annoyingly fake smile on his face, "Spend some time with a real man for a change."

She scoffed, "You don't even know what a real man is."

"I could change your mind about that," he remarked; the look in his eyes conveying the thought that he really did believe that he could make any woman fall at his feet eventually.

"I highly doubt that," she replied, "And I'm not dancing with you."

"Let go of her, now," Jim stated as he stepped into Johanna's line of vision.

Charles grinned as he looked at his adversary. "Relax, Jim, I'm just asking her to dance."

"And she said no," he said firmly; his tone carrying an edge.

"It's really none of your business," Charles retorted.

"She's here with me, and that makes it my business, now this is the last time I'm going to tell you to let go of her."

"And if I don't?"

Johanna had a feeling that she knew the answer to that but she remained quiet, figuring that maybe it was best just to let Jim handle it…even though she was always telling him that she could take care of herself.

"If you don't," Jim said, "Then I'm going to break your hand for you."

"Is that right?" Patterson replied.

"That's right."

Charles sneered but dropped his hand from her arm. "You know, Jim, you're awful possessive of someone who doesn't have a ring on her finger or your name tattooed on her."

Jim gaze was icy as he glared at Charles, "She's with me," he reiterated, "And when she's with me, she's mine," he stated. "Now if she wanted to dance with you, she would, but she doesn't so get lost and while you're at it, stay the hell away from her."

Charles scoffed as he looked them both over as if they were beneath him. "You two deserve each other. You're a nobody," he said to Jim and then turning his gaze to Johanna, he added, "And you're never going to get anywhere unless you do it on your…"

"You finish that sentence and I swear to god you won't walk out of here tonight," Jim threatened as he cut him off.

Charles smirked at them and was about to go but finally Johanna broke her silence. "Just so you know, Charles, if the only way I can get anywhere is through you, than I'd rather be nowhere."

"That's the best place for both of you," he stated before storming away.

"Did he hurt you?" Jim asked as he turned his attention to Johanna, his hand caressing the area of her arm that Charles had gripped.

"No," she answered; her heart still filled with the warmth that spread through her at the sound of the words Jim had spoken declaring her as his, even if he had only meant it for the night. "I was trying to get out of it without causing a scene."

"Are you sure?" he asked as he gently pulled her closer and examined the area, searching her skin for any sign of bruising…and god help Charles Patterson if he found any. "Because I don't mind causing a scene."

Johanna smiled as she took his hand, "I'm fine, Jim…although it would've been a better story to tell my mother if you had hit him," she said with amusement in hopes of lighting his mood.

He grinned, "I was more than willing to do that if the situation called for it, but then I would've gone to jail and then what would you do?"

"I'd bail you out," she laughed.

"Would you?"

"Of course I would," she answered, her eyes betraying her affection for him.

"A trip to jail might cost me a few points on your mother's potential son-in-law scorecard though," he teased.

Johanna shook her head as she looped her arm through his; steering him in the direction of the dance floor so she could indulge in the need to be in his arms. "Oh no, she'd consider that as defending my honor. You'd get a thousand bonus points and she'd be reserving a church and picking out names for our kids."

Jim laughed as he pulled her into his arms for the dance she obviously wanted, "I hope the kids look like you."

"Why, so you can deny paternity?" she quipped.

"Not at all," he replied; his eyes gleaming with humor, "I just want them to be beautiful."

A light blush spread across her cheeks, "They'd be beautiful if they looked like you," she remarked as she gazed at him, "You're very handsome."

He smiled, "You probably say that to all the men who save you from womanizing jackasses."

Johanna laughed softly, "No, you're the only one."

He chuckled, his eyes locked on hers, "Well then I guess that makes me a special nobody."

"He's the nobody," she replied, "But if he wants to think it's us, well then I couldn't ask for better company in the club."

Jim pressed a kiss against her forehead, "I'm okay with being a nobody as long as I can be one with you…although you are most definitely something."

Johanna smiled, "So are you," she whispered.

"I guess there's one thing I can say about Charles," Jim commented.

"What's that?" she asked.

"He proved me right; I let you out of my sight and someone tried to steal you away."

Johanna laughed, "I guess I better not wander away from you anymore."

He grinned, "Well since I've been accused of being possessive, I may as well act like it and tell you that I didn't plan on letting you slip away again."

"Sounds good to me," she replied with a smile; content to stay there on the dance floor with him all night long.

* * *

The party broke up sometime after two and as Jim and Johanna walked towards his car, he scrambled to think of something to keep them out a while longer. He mentioned coffee and she agreed without hesitation. They found a small diner that was open all night, and they lingered there until dawn, discussing the gala and what they had heard and saw, and when they exhausted that line of conversation they talked about whatever came to mind. It dawned on him that she seemed more relaxed that evening then she had for the last several weeks and he realized that her mother's hounding and her sisters wedding plans were taking more of a toll on her then she was letting on. He'd have to make more of an effort to keep her spirits up; he thought to himself as they exited the diner and climbed back into his car for the trip back to her apartment. He'd have to try and get her to talk more about what was bugging her instead of allowing her to get away with saying 'I'm fine' as often as she did.

Johanna's hand slipped into his as they walked up the sidewalk in front of the building, and she kept hold of it for the ride on the elevator; not letting go until they had paused next to her door. She wished it didn't have to end. She always became so comfortable when she was with; he always made her feel cared for and wanted and she always wanted those feelings to linger as long as possible.

"A little bird told me that you have a birthday next week," Jim said as they lingered outside her door.

Johanna smirked, "And does this little bird have a name?"

"I promised not to tell."

"Sharon," she muttered.

He laughed, "I didn't say that."

"You don't have to say it," she replied, "I know."

"Just to make sure I received the right information," Jim said, "It is the 4th, isn't it?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"I must've missed it last year," he commented; a part of himself ashamed by the fact that he hadn't known her birth date, especially when he was aware of the fact that she knew his.

"You were out of town," she replied and then her cheeks flooded with color as she flushed with embarrassment while berating herself for revealing the fact that she could recall that he hadn't been around for her birthday the year before.

Jim took pity on her as her gaze darted away from his and allowed her remark to go without mention. "What do you have planned for your birthday?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Nothing," she answered. "Due to certain circumstances, I've reached that 'I don't want to acknowledge it age' a few years early."

"Well we can't have that," Jim said. "You have to be celebrated."

"Why?" she asked with a soft laugh, being mindful of the early hour.

"Because you're you," he answered as he held her gaze.

"So? That's nothing special."

"You're wrong," he told her quietly as he wrapped his hand around hers and gave it a squeeze. "You're special to a lot of people, Jo."

Johanna looked into his eyes, a string of words forming in her mind that created a question she wouldn't dare voice, but he must've read her mind.

"You're special to me," he confessed.

The statement filled her with warm fluttery feelings and her lips curved upwards in a smile that almost stole his breath as she murmured, "You're special to me too."

"Does that mean you'll let me take to dinner for your birthday?" he asked; finally voicing the notion that had formed in his brain as soon as Sharon had given him a clue.

"You don't have to do that," Johanna replied although she couldn't think of a better way to spend the occasion.

"I know I don't _have _to," Jim remarked, "But I _want _to."

"Alright," she whispered as she tried to keep her smile from conveying that warmth that wouldn't seem to abate, but instead kept growing in relation to the knowledge that he wanted to do something for her birthday. "That would be nice."

"I knew you'd see it my way," he grinned.

She laughed quietly, "Maybe you charmed me into accepting."

"I'm sure I did," he boasted playfully. "I did offer to defend your honor after all."

"My hero," she quipped.

"All in a days work."

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get that soft smile to leave her lips and she hoped that she didn't look like a giddy teenager to him. That would be even worse than revealing things that she shouldn't.

"Thank you," she said as she held his gaze.

"For what?"

"For getting rid of Charles for one," she answered.

Jim gave a slight shake of his head, "No need to thank me for that. I was happy to do it."

"Thank you for tonight," Johanna told him, "I had a great time."

He smiled as he reached out and cupped her face, his thumb rubbing against her cheek, "You don't need to thank me for that either. I had a great time too, in fact, how about I just pick you up at the same time for the next one?"

Her smile widened into a grin, "Planning ahead?"

"I have to," he answered, "It's a jungle out there and I don't want to take the chance that you might not be standing next to me the next time a vulture is about to swoop in and make me its prey of choice."

She shook her head at him, a giggle escaping her lips, "You really know the way to a girl's heart, Jim."

He laughed with her, "Well you don't want me to get snatched up by Jackie, do you?"

"Oh I don't know, it might be fun to watch you squirm," she replied in amusement.

"What if you needed saving and I couldn't get away from her?" he teased.

"That could be a problem," she answered, "So I guess we better just stick together…especially since you've obviously claimed me as your damsel in distress."

Mischief gleamed in his eyes, "I've always wanted a damsel."

"I think you spend too much time with Jeff," she laughed.

"It's possible," her colleague agreed humorously. "I was a decent human being before he corrupted me."

"You're lucky I'm tolerant of such corruptness," she replied, her hand brushing against his arm, unable to resist the urge to touch him.

"Lucky indeed," he agreed; his hands moving to cradle her waist. He just never could seem to keep his hands off of her. "Maybe you can be a good influence on me."

"I doubt it," she quipped; her hand taking on a mind of its own as it slid against his chest. "You're probably too far gone."

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing," he remarked; his tone low as that flame between them ignited and began to burn.

"Maybe not," Johanna whispered, her heart picking up its rhythm. She had a feeling that she knew where this moment was headed and she prayed she wasn't wrong as anticipation kicked in her stomach.

This was beginning to become a frequent habit, Jim though to himself as he went through his routine debate about the merits of giving in to that spark of desire. He had kissed her in the break room the week before and earlier in the month they had shared a few kisses after she had gotten drunk during his attempt to cheer her up. Of course she had no memory of that…but then there were those kisses between them the day after.

How could he not kiss her tonight, though, he wondered. How could he resist those pretty eyes which seemed to be begging him to give in? How could he walk away from this night they had shared and not kiss that sassy mouth of hers? She seemed to sense his debate and she seemed to be making the decision for them by subtly shifting closer, her hand moving against his chest once more before settling at his shoulder, her perfume filling his senses.

'Just once,' Johanna thought, just one kiss to end the night. Just one touch of that magic that always seemed to spring up and crackle between them. She shouldn't want it as badly as she did, but the feeling was there, that need to feel like she really was something special to him. She needed these little moments between them; these little secrets they kept and never spoke of. Those little 'secrets' kept her sane in the midst of everyone's matchmaking attempts. They kept her heart warm when she felt like she was being labeled as the spinster sister of the McKenzie family. She just wanted a small Cinderella moment of being kissed before the clock struck and the spell was broken. "Just once," she silently pleaded.

He just couldn't resist her sometimes, he told himself, and he figured that was a good enough excuse for putting a foot across that line again; but he could show restraint…or so he thought. Their kiss was only supposed to be a chaste peck of his lips against hers to signal the end of their night but his best intentions deserted him when he felt her arms slipping around him.

Desire coiled within both of them and he claimed her mouth in a more passionate kiss that was reminiscent of the night they had run into each other after her break up with Brad. The words he had said to Charles echoed through his mind as they continued to indulge in those intoxicating kisses that seemed to push the boundaries.

'_When she's with me, she's mine,' _he had declared, and as they broke apart for a moment of air before dipping their toes back into the fire, he realized that those words had been true. When they were alone together, he felt as though she was his…and that he was hers. It would've been a more startling thought if he hadn't been so wrapped up in her and feeling those stirrings he had felt the last time passion had ruled them. He recalled that spot on her neck that he had discovered that night, and the desire he had been fighting to find that it again, ever since she had issued her challenge about it not happening again.

He figured that her thoughts had to be thoroughly distracted by now and he broke away from her lips and dipped his head and gave in to the urge to seek out that sensitive area. He found it and she melted despite the willpower she had tried to hold on to when she realized what he was going to do. He lingered there, driving her crazy, making her wish for things she really shouldn't be wishing for and then she recalled what had happened the last time he had spent too much time in that area.

Her fingers tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck, "Don't leave a mark," she demanded; a slight hitch detectable in her breath.

Jim chuckled, abandoning his task, "Would I do that?" he asked as he raised his head to look at her.

"You have before," Johanna remarked.

"I think you liked it," he replied smugly.

"That's beside the point," she answered and when he grinned she could've kicked herself for uttering that phrase.

"So you admit it," he stated.

"Again, that's not the point," she answered; feeling the heat rise in her cheeks once again. "The point is that my mother is in there," she said as she gestured towards the door of her apartment.

"I know," he answered, "That's all the more reason to do it; she'll think you have something going on and she'll let you alone. I'm doing you a favor, sweetheart," he teased.

She couldn't help but laugh, "Oh you think coming home with a hickey would get her to drop the marriage talk?"

He nodded, "She'll think you're in a relationship."

"And thinking that will put her on ring watch," Johanna replied.

A mischievous grin spread across his face, "Well tell her that's what the hickey is for; I didn't have a ring so I just marked you myself."

"Jim!" she admonished with a laugh as she smacked his arm with her purse.

He laughed with her, keeping an arm around her waist, "I'm just trying to help you out."

"That's not the way to do it," she replied, "You'll just get me into more trouble."

"Do you think she waited up for you?" he asked; "It's morning, so I figure I've probably gotten you home past curfew. I'd hate for you to be grounded, she might not let you come out and play with me anymore or something."

Johanna smirked at him, "Is your mother ashamed of you?"

"Every once in awhile," he laughed, "But you still haven't answered the question."

"She better not have waited up," Johanna replied, "She'll want details as soon as I walk through the door."

"Make me sound good," Jim said, "I don't want to lose any of my points on her score card, you never know when you might need me to do you a favor."

She grinned, "What, are you volunteering to pose as my fiancée for the next holiday meal?"

"It depends," he replied, "What do you think she'll be serving and is she a good cook?"

Johanna laughed and gave him a playful shove, "Get the hell out of here."

"What? Those were viable questions," he chuckled as he pulled her back into his arms to embrace her.

She returned his embrace and then kissed his cheek before pulling away, "Thanks for that too," she told him.

He looked at her in confusion, "For what?"

"Making me laugh about having a marriage minded mother dogging my heels," she answered sincerely, "Because to tell you the truth, it can be a little depressing at times."

"Anything for you, Jo," he answered; before brushing his lips against her cheek. "I'll let you know what time I'll pick you up on your birthday."

She nodded, "I'm looking forward to it."

He gave in to the urge to press one more kiss against her lips and then backed away; waiting for her to fish out her keys and unlock her door before he said goodnight and walked away.

* * *

The apartment was quiet when she entered and she soundlessly placed her keys on the stand along with her purse before retreating to her bedroom, hoping that she could change without waking her mother.

"Are you just getting in?" Naomi asked as she turned towards the doorway of the bedroom while pulling on her robe.

"Yes," Johanna answered; stepping out of her shoes once she had moved into the room. "I thought that you'd still be asleep. Dad's away, there's no reason for you to be up at the crack of dawn."

"Old habit," Naomi said as she brushed Johanna's hands away from the zipper of her gown and unzipped it herself. "I've been getting up early for years to send your father off to work and then to get you kids ready for school; it's just a part of me now."

"That makes sense," her daughter answered as she dropped her nightgown over her head and then took off her jewelry.

"Did you have a nice time?"

She smiled, "Yes, I had a wonderful time."

Her mother beamed in approval, "I'm so glad to hear that, why don't you come into the kitchen and tell me all about it."

Johanna shrugged into her robe, knowing that her mother wouldn't rest until she knew how the ballroom had been decorated and what was served, and most importantly, how her 'date' was. She followed her into the kitchen, and took a seat at the table, telling her all the little details she enjoyed knowing about parties, while watching her move around the kitchen with ease. Her mother always seemed to have a way of taking over any kitchen whose threshold she crossed, not that Johanna minded. She enjoyed being spoiled with her mother's cooking. They chattered on as the coffee brewed and then finally Naomi looked at her from across the table and Johanna knew that she was now entering a conversation that she probably didn't want to have.

"Jim's a nice young man," Naomi stated.

Here it comes, Johanna thought as she smiled indulgently. "Yes, he is. See, I told you I knew nice, young men."

"Perhaps you…"

"We're just friends, Mom," she stated, cutting her off before she could even finish forming the thought she was about to speak.

"I know that," Naomi said, "But there's no reason why you couldn't have more with him. I believe friendship is a good foundation for a lasting relationship."

"Mother…you know how much I hate these discussions, and you said there wouldn't be any while you were staying with me."

"And you know how much I detest being called Mother," Naomi replied. "We had that discussion just last week, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did and my answer remains the same; I know how much you hate it…that's probably why I do it when you do things that I hate."

"Watch yourself bambina," her mother remarked, a gentle hint of warning in her tone.

"I'm not a baby," Johanna stated; a part of herself bristling at the sound of her mother's nickname for her, while the other part of her warmed at memories it provoked. She of course pushed those thoughts away.

"Mi bambina," Naomi said as her daughter rolled her eyes.

"I know I'm your baby," she told her, "But I'm a big girl now."

"Yes, I know," her mother said, "You've only been telling me that since you were 6 and decided that you could pick out your own clothes without my help."

Johanna looked at her, "Is this a guilt trip, because if it is, you should feel better since I let you help me pick out a dress for last night."

She laughed, "No, this isn't a guilt trip. I'm just saying that he's a nice young man…and it's obvious that you care a great deal for him."

"Of course I do, he's my friend. I care about all of my friends."

Naomi shook her head, "Friendship is not what's in your eyes when you look at him, Bambina."

"I should go to bed for a little while," Johanna remarked as she took a sip of coffee, "I have been up all night."

"Sit down," Naomi said as she began to rise from the table. "You've been up this long, you can wait awhile longer; besides, you don't look the least bit tired, mi cara."

Johanna sank back down into her chair, resigning herself to the conversation. It would do no good to try and flee, her mother would just follow and if there was one thing she knew about Naomi McKenzie it was that if she had something she wanted to say, she was going to say it whether you wanted to hear it or not.

"Some mother you are," she teased in a vain attempt to distract her from the topic.

"Don't change the subject," Naomi replied. "You have feelings for him."

"Who said that?" Johanna asked. "I know I didn't."

"Oh but you did," her mother replied, a smile slipping across her face, "When you told me about him last night while you were getting ready. Once you relaxed and allowed your true opinions to flow, it was very obvious that your feelings run deeper than friendship."

"Mom, don't take this the wrong way; but I think you're so fixated on wanting to marry me off that you just read into things more than you should. Jim is my friend, and yes I care about him, that's all it is."

"It's not," Naomi insisted. "There's love in your eyes."

She rolled her eyes, "Maybe I should take you to see about glasses."

"He looks at you the same way," Naomi went on, disregarding her daughter's comment.

Johanna shook her head, "No he doesn't."

"He does," she said; her smile returning. "I saw the two of you together last night…there was a great connection between the two of you…a romantic connection," she stated; seeing her daughter open her mouth to make an excuse for it. "The way you look at each other, like you're the only two people in the world…that is love, Bambina, and it is beautiful."

"Mom, don't do this, okay?"

"Do what?" she asked, "Don't tell you that there is a man who cares about you, right under your nose? Tell you not to pursue a relationship that is already meaningful to you?"

"Maybe I don't want to ruin something I already have for something that has no guarantee of lasting," Johanna stated.

"Nothing in life is guaranteed, Johanna; you weren't guaranteed to be successful at law school, but you obtained your degree and have the career you wanted because you took the chance, you put in the effort."

"That's different."

Her mother nodded, "Yes, it is different in some ways, but you can not control your heart and what it desires the way you seem to be able to control your mind."

She glanced at her, "That can't be true," she replied, "Dad control's his heart."

Naomi sighed, "I can assure you that your father doesn't have the control over his heart that he thinks he does. If that were the case, I wouldn't have been able to wheedle my way into it; and I know where you're going with this line of thinking, and I know that you do not believe me, Johanna, but your father loves you very much."

"Right," she scoffed.

"He does," she insisted; "But this isn't about your father, although I will say that perhaps the two of you wouldn't clash so much if you weren't so much a like in some respects."

Her temper flared, "I am not like him!"

Naomi smiled, "You just proved yourself wrong," she said with a laugh, "But it's alright, so you're a little temperamental like your father, that's all a part of your charm. I'm sure your young man finds that endearing and exciting about you."

"He is not my young man."

"He should be."

"Mother," she warned.

"Did he kiss you goodnight?"

Johanna smirked, "It's morning."

Her mother shrugged, "Alright, did he kiss you good morning?"

"Some girls don't kiss and tell."

"But I'm your mother," Naomi said, "If you can't tell me, who can you tell?"

"Plenty of people."

"Oh come now, I know you've left some things out in your recitation of the evening, and the look that was on your face when you came in told a story that your words haven't."

"Well then you already know everything you need to know," Johanna quipped, "So let's change the subject."

"Why are you so against this?" Naomi asked.

"I am not against anything," Johanna exclaimed, "Why do you have it in your head that I have to be in a relationship or I'm worthless?"

"I have never said you're worthless, Johanna Elizabeth!" Naomi said sternly, "And how dare you imply otherwise. You are far from worthless, the first time I looked at you; I thought you were as precious as the brightest star in the sky."

"Now who's temperamental?" Johanna asked.

"The only thing you can accuse me of is loving you," her mother went on. "I love you so very much, is that a crime?"

"No, but…"

"Voglio solo che tu sia felice." (I just want you to be happy)

Johanna sighed; her mother always lapsed into the Italian she had been taught by her grandmother when she wanted to lay it on thick. "No parlano Italiano, Mama," she returned, a hint of a whine in her voice.

"Voglio solo che tu sia felice," Naomi repeated; her gaze locked upon her daughter.

"Si, lo so," Johanna replied as she nodded her head; she was well aware of the fact that her mother wanted her to be happy.

"Sei cosi speciale, bella e intelligente." (You're so special, beautiful and intelligent.)

"Mama…," Johanna said; her words trailing off. She couldn't express herself in Italian as well as her mother could. Her own education in the language had been interrupted with the death of her great-grandmother Josephina, when she was a teenager.

"Voglio solo di trovare qualcuno che tu amera." (I just want you to find someone who will love you).

"I want that too," Johanna replied; giving up on trying to translate her thoughts. She could understand the language well enough when it was spoken to her, but she was out of practice at speaking it herself.

"Ti amo, Bambina." (I love you, baby).

Tears stung her eyes, and she wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't as if her mother never told her that she loved her, she told her all the time…but there was something about the way she said it in another language that always jerked at her heart.

"Ti amo troppo, Mama," she replied; her voice a whisper.

"Then follow your heart," Naomi said as she switched back into English. "If you care for him they way you seem to then don't deny yourself out of fear. It might not work out…but then again, it might work and last forever."

Johanna had the urge to smack her head off the table but she refrained, "If I tell you that he kissed me, will you let me alone?"

Naomi smiled brightly and Johanna could've kicked herself for uttering those words.

"He kissed you! That's wonderful, darling. You see, I told you that there was something there. I could tell that he was smitten with you."

"Don't go getting carried away," her daughter replied. "It doesn't change anything."

"Of course it does," Naomi remarked. "He's kissed you now, that's your hint that he wants more than friendship."

"Who said this was the first time?"

Her mother's gaze shot back to her face and she pointed a finger at her, "I knew you've been holding out on me."

Johanna laughed, "Well technically, it's no one's business."

"I am your mother, almost everything is my business. Now just how many times has this happened?"

She shrugged, "A few."

"And yet you're still doing this 'we're just friends' dance?"

"It's not like I'm doing this dance alone," she replied.

"Kids," Naomi muttered as she picked up her mug and took a sip.

"You're wishing that was wine, aren't you?" Johanna teased.

"Hush," her mother told her, "You know it's far too early for wine. If he's afraid to make the move, then you're going to have to do it."

"Me!" Johanna exclaimed. "I thought you always told me that it was the man's job to make the move."

"Times are different now," Naomi replied, "And you're a modern woman; some of my teachings may have been old fashioned…if you want him, then you should put forth the effort to have him."

"But what if…"

"Life is full of what if's, Johanna; but I assure you it never delivers something we can't handle. Don't let this opportunity get away."

"Mama," she sighed; feeling free to indulge in her preferred name for her mother since her father wasn't in the picture.

"What is it? What holds you back, besides fear?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

"I think you do."

"How do I know for sure?"

"How do you know what, for sure?"

She couldn't believe that she was actually delving into this discussion. "How do I know if it's…something more," she said; not yet ready to title her feelings with the word 'love' as she wasn't sure things were at that point yet. "How do I know if it's something deeper than just attraction?"

Naomi smiled and reached for her hand, "Attraction is merely being drawn to someone."

"But I am drawn to him," she allowed herself to admit.

"Yes," her mother said, "I can see that; but there has to be something more than just being drawn…the difference lies in what holds you there; in what keeps you going back besides that spark."

"Like what?" she said in desperation; feeling like she might be in trouble here.

"How he makes you feel, and not just in the romantic sense; but in every other way. If you can't wait to see him…if you think about him all the time. If there's a connection that goes beyond just great chemistry; an understanding that doesn't always have to be spoken. It's about all of those little things that you feel; those little things that you probably brush aside while telling yourself that it's nothing, that's its better off not thought about."

Damn, Johanna thought, nothing got by her mother, she knew how her brain worked even when she wasn't present to read her thoughts in her expressions or tone of voice. This could be dangerous thinking, and she wasn't sure that she should really be thinking so much about it…was it possible that making herself think it would somehow make it so and that she'd then be unable to control herself? Would she then make a fool of herself and ruin everything? She didn't know if she was ready to take that risk.

"You're doing it now," Naomi stated.

Johanna couldn't help but smile as she shook her head, "I should go to bed."

Her mother smiled warmly, "You can't outrun your heart forever, Bambina. One day it's going to sneak up on you and slap you in the face…I just hope it isn't too late by then."

"I'm not the only person in this…friendship who isn't making the effort to make a change," she replied.

"One of you has to take the initiative," Naomi remarked. "It may as well be you."

"I don't know, Mama."

"I like him," her mother said, "He's very kind, just as you said, and it's easy to see that he's very fond of you. You look nice together…like you belong that way."

"Don't go planning a wedding," Johanna replied.

"Alright, darling," her mother replied, knowing it was time to back down, "You just think about it…but not for too long."

"I'll do that," she said; her standard response which really translated into 'not really', as she rose from the table. "I'm going to try and sleep for a few hours and then we'll go out and find something to do."

Naomi smiled, she knew a dodge when she saw and heard one. "Alright," she told her and when she was half way across the threshold of the kitchen she added, "But you're still like your Daddy."

"It's not nice to insult your hostess," Johanna replied.

"It's not an insult if it's true," she laughed.

Johanna turned back to her, "Well in that case, you won't mind me telling you that you're starting to sound like Grandma."

Naomi narrowed her eyes playfully, "Bite your tongue, missy."

"Goodnight," she laughed.

"Technically, it's morning," her mother stated, throwing her words back at her.

Johanna paused, her head dropping, "Why do I tell you anything?"

"Because you love me."

"You're lucky I do or you'd be in trouble," she told her mother.

Naomi moved towards her and wrapped her in her embrace, "I am so very lucky that god gave me you when I wished for a little girl…and I hope, that one day, he'll bless you with a little girl as retaliation for the grief you cause me when you don't listen to me."

"Thanks, Mama," she said somewhat sarcastically as she squeezed her in return, "Now I have something to look forward to."

"You deserve it," her mother laughed as she released her and allowed her to resume her trek towards her bedroom.

Johanna shut the bedroom door behind her and crawled into her bed which was still unmade. She shifted around until she was comfortable and then she allowed herself to think of the things her mother had said. Maybe her feelings did run deeper than she allowed herself to admit; maybe she was in danger of losing her heart, a thought she had entertained not long ago…maybe it was too late. Maybe her heart was already lost. She couldn't deny the attraction, or the longing she sometimes felt to be…_more _but that didn't mean that she was ready to make a move without assurance that she wouldn't be rejected. The memory of their goodbye that morning filtered through her mind, what if all he wanted was what they already had? She'd rather have something than nothing. She shook her thoughts away; she didn't want to think too much about the status of their relationship, she was content with what they were at the moment, and now she had a birthday dinner with him to look forward to. She smiled as she burrowed into her pillow, her eyes closing as her mind settled on more pleasant thoughts…pleasant thoughts that of course centered on her favorite colleague, but it wasn't the first time she had fallen asleep with Jim on her mind.


End file.
